How long to wait???

[cazstimp]

Hi Ladies,

Found out on Wednesday at my 12 weeks scan that I've miscarried. Kind of knew myself, just needed it confirming. I'd had no symptoms whatsoever, and first thing I said to midwife was "can you make sure something is there".
We're both devastated, I'm booked in for Tuesday to have surgery unless something happens over weekend.
My question is how long should I wait before trying again? We're both desperate to have another baby, but have heard different stories of people trying straight away and others waiting 6 months??
Help please
xxx

 

[jemfox]

it all depends on your circumstances, i.e if you been having multiple miscarriages, and need tests. doctors do advice to wait until after your first period post miscarriage tho, i think it all depends on when you and your partner feel ready, there is so specific time frame.

sorry to hear about the miscarriage hun xx

 

[Lou1103]

Hi hun,
So sorry for your loss xxx
I would say it depends entirely on when you and your partner are mentally ready. Physically i have heard of people getting pregnant the ov immediately after their mc (before period) and they have gone on to have a fine pregnancy. It should definitely be when you feel ready though, if you or your partner have any doubts it may be best to wait a cycle or 2 (or longer) xxx

 

[Lou1103]

The plus side of waiting until your period is that you can be certain of due dates etc for future scans xxx

 

[Harpy]

I am so sorry for your loss xxx

With regards to time frames, its when you feel ready. I mc at almost 11 wks (I mc naturally, but ended up in a&e and staying in overnight) and the doctor told me there was no reason to wait and if I wanted to start again straight away then I could. However it took me a whole year to get over the mc and actually be mentally ready, not to be pregnant, but to be ready incase it happened again. Now I am ttc again, I wish I hadn't waited to be 'ready' to miscarry again! That's not the best way to think.

So if you are mentally and physically ready, then there is no reason why you can't start straight away, there are no definite figures to show waiting is good or bad with regards to the likelihood of it happening again. They do say that you are more fertile as your body will still have hcg, so conceiving may be easier I think? Not 100% on that though.

Look after yourself xx

 

[cazstimp]

Thanks so much for your replies.
I've only booked int today for surgery on Tuesday but I think it's started now (passing blood, having cramps etc), so hopefully won't have to be put to sleep next week.
This is my 1st miscarriage, I already have 1 daughter who is 15 months and I had no problems conceiving her and no problems during the pregnancy which is why I'm struggling to come to terms with why this has happened.
Might give it a few months and see how we feel. Like you say, scared of becoming pregnant, constantly thinking, what if it happens again
xxx

 

[Harpy]

I know its hard, and very scary. If you think its starting now I am here if you need me or want to ask anything.

I wasn't scared of being pregnant again, but for me I wanted and needed to be 100% prepared for it happening again, and that took me over a year! I wish I hadn't waited I really do, as I shouldn't have been thinking like that at all, but for me I had a very bad time in hospital, and what happened I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, so to be ready to go through that again took a long time.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.. do you have someone with you?

 

[cazstimp]

Yeah OH has been really supportive, although I know he's feeling it himself, and my Mom's been up three times. I've got my daughter keeping me occupied, but I just find myself thinking about it every now and then, and I feel really down and cry.
Had a bit more bleeding this afternoon, nothing major though and only very mild cramps. I thought the process would be quicker than this. So frustrating
xx

 

[Harpy]

I'm glad you are not on your own xx

It can take a good few days for everything to pass, if it becomes too much, go to hospital x

 

[Kaffee]

Sorry to hear about your loss. I lost one at 11wks last year and ended up in a&e at end too. I only went to a&e due to the pain getting too much and not knowing if it was going to get worse, so I'd advise getting some paracetamol & codeine in to get to get you through it. Took me about 24 hours from start of bleeding to passing the baby. I was grateful to be in hosiptal though, as they could check me out then and there that everything had passed.

We didn't try again for 7months as though we thought we were ok we weren't. It took us going through a real rough patch relationship wise to make us realise the effect it had had before we could move on and start again. But everyone is different and you might feel ready sooner.

I'm now 11wks again and got a private scan this morning and like you my symptoms have died off over the last 2 weeks, so I'm mentally preparing myself for bad news. The joys of pregnancy hey?

Take care of yourself and all the time you need to recover both mentally & physically. Xx