how do you cope in the first few weeks???

[Sarahe]

Hi

Bailey is nearly 3 weeks old and I find the mornings the hardest

He wakes every 2-3 hours for a feed and usually settles well but from 3 am through to 2 pm he doesnt settle after a feed he grizzles is clearly tired as when I pick him up to soothe him he falls straight to sleep within minutes but as soon as I put him down he creates within 5-10 mins. How long can you leave them or is it he can smell me ???

He did have constipation and this has since stopped and he now goes 1-2 times a day but he now strains when passing wind or constantly in his sleep he hasnt got wind as he winds really well after each feed.

My health visitor visited yesterday and I said I had these problems and she said he is fine just a noisy baby.

her only concern was that I wasnt putting time by to eat I had only had a yogurt and it is the same today been up since 6.30 and only just had a yogurt while he sleeps and a coffee and it is 11.30, how do you find time.

from 2pm on wards it is fine he settles after a feed and I seem to be able to compose my self and get myself sorted but its just the mornings I find hard I am tearful because I am tired and find it hard to do the simplest things such as use the loo and make a cup of tea.


Sorry for the moan I love him so much yet cant cope in the mornings will it pass, will I be able to get up and get dressed, have a shower without him screaming the house down?

 

[Em78]

Ah hun it does get better i promise!

Alex was very much the same at night to start with. he just wouldnt settle on his own in his basket but would go to sleep like an angel if he was in bed with me.

we tried to make sure that he slept in his basket in the day too (but in whatever room i was in so he got used to sleping on his own but knew i was near by.

its just something they have to go through. they have been with you for so long its hard for them to get used to being alone.

can anyone come over to give you a little break, take them for a walk? have you tried to sleep in the day when he does?

also try getting your oh to get some food in that you can eat on the go without having to cook it. sausage rolls, pasties, fruit etc. dont worry too much about what it is at this stage just make sure you eat. you can worry about healthy eating when you have more time.

sorry if you've tried all this, no magic answer i'm afraid. but the worst is almost over - it will soon get better.

xxx

 

[Dee1985]

have you tryed swaddeling him in a blanket? worked really well for me. both harley and dior love being cuddeled so when i put them down for a nap they would grunt, also i use2 blankets roll them up and put them either sideof his basket to make it more tight for him..... works wonders

are you breast feeding? try putting some breast milk on his blanket he might feel your there then

harleys 4weeks old so feel free to ad me to msn or just keep intouch nd wecan help each other

 

[lauramumof2]

It does get better, promise. The mornings are the hardest, I remember that. Can you take baby into the bathroom in the car seat so he can see you. I too couldnt eat, i physically couldnt swallow and i think it was because I was scared shitless of what was happening. Nothing bad was happening but everything was soooo new and the thought that I was responsible for this wee person was over whelming.
Is there anyone to give you a break besides your partner?

 

[michelle82]

it does get better promise although i know you'll be thinking when!!! the whole eating thing for me went out the window, get some ready meals in or make sandwiches in advance then you can grab one when you get the chance. Its a struggle at first but as they grow and change you can predict them more and know what they want your priority is you and baby sod the housework etc

 

[futuremum]

It will get easier!!!! i did not beleive anybody when people told me that but it does, although it will seem like ages but Thomas settled at 3 months old. He used to be hyper from 10 pm till 3 am . I suppose they all have a period in the day or night when they are most active and grizzly ! I am happy those days are gone because i used to cry almost every day from exhaustion. I am still tired now but it is different

good luck, what you live is normal

 

[katie05]

Im usually just a 'reader' on this forum but just wanted to reassure you that it does get better. I remember phoning my mum in tears telling her how i couldnt even go for a pee without my baby boy screaming (i reallly couldnt). Also remember hardly eating at first but he is 10 weeks now and its so much better. I feel guilty at the fact i couldnt enjoy him at first as i was constantly soothing him but loving ity now.Hang on in there hun.x

 

[Urchin]

hiya Sarahe
You're doing really well

Have you tried just staying in bed next to baby for an extra long lie in? Take a few days to forget all about the housework, and take the time to rest when your baby rests and try and eat healthy snacks whenever you can.
Next time you go shopping try and buy things that are quick and easy to eat, like fruit or your favorite breakfast cereals.

I know it's hard, it does get LOADS better, just try and make time for YOURSELF as well as baby, if you feel better you'll enjoy this precious time more.

xxx

 

[petchy]

i had my mum here for the 1st 2 weeks, and it was SO nice! she would cook for me and help with the housework, as well as take ruben off my hands so i could get some sleep. what a shock to the system when she left... i was on my own in the house (OH works nights and is at college in the day - any spare time he sleeps!) with a baby who was suffering badly with reflux and refusing to be put down flat or even semi reclining... i carried him around with me EVERYWHERE in a baby carrier.

when i wanted to have a shower i'd put him in his bouncychair next to the bath. he would still cry but at least i could comfort him and reach out to give him his dummy. i figured a super quick shower was better than no shower!!

the MW kept telling me to sleep when he slept... well easy in theory, but he never slept more than 30 mins at a time max, as he was in pain with his reflux. i usually didn't have a chance to eat until midday and she'd tell me off for that too. in the end i got so peeved i told her to stuff it!

things improved vastly when i finally got medicine (that worked) for his reflux at about 6 weeks. by 7 weeks i put him on a routine and that was GREAT! i use gina fords routines as a base, but don't follow them 100%, i adapted them to suit ruben. it gives me set times when i know i can do things so now i have a shower when he has his morning nap at 9, and do some housework during his midday nap from 12-2.15 (in the early days i used to sleep myself during this time)

things do get easier!the main tip: IGNORE THE HOUSEWORK!!!!! (lol i was a clean freak and still find it hard to come to terms with not having the time to clean as often as i used to!)

1) ignore the housework
2) try to sleep when baby sleeps
3) try to establish some kind of routine (i don't mean a too rigid one, just a pattern of naps that suits your baby - it makes it predictable for you and you know when you can have some time for yourself!
4) try to find time to eat, but don't beat yourself up if breakfast is at noon!
5) if you can, get someone to come over and look after your baby even for just an hour while you run yourself a hot bath and pamper yourself a bit!

 

[Dee1985]

Have you tried just staying in bed next to baby for an extra long lie in? Take a few days to forget all about the housework, and take the time to rest when your baby rests and try and eat healthy snacks whenever you can.
Next time you go shopping try and buy things that are quick and easy to eat, like fruit or your favorite breakfast cereals.

thats what i do, my friend who recently had a baby is on the verge of nearly having a break down as she is so hard on her selfshe sets her self goals like, must be up and both dressed by 9am must scrub the house...

every day i try and do it were harleys feed and diors nap ae at the same time as i no harley will godown for 3hrs after a feed then i get to go to bed house work. i run round all one hr before kris gets home. ifivgot noplans for the day me and the babies will stay in our pjs and trash the house and eat loads its great

 

[beanie]

I really struggled in the early weeks. I didn't have much support as everyone worked full time and I found it very isolating. I used to do the housework at 2am as it was the only time I could. I now would advise going to bed with baby, i do that now still and it gives me a chance to relax xx

 

[Sarahe]

hi thanks for your replys we put bailey in his own room on thurs night as he grunts/strains really loudly in his sleep and even when he is awake. he slept like a dream apart from his loud straining in his sleep that kept us awake that we had to turn the monitor off

i am considering changing his milk asi think he is in pain for a poo but health visitor said he is makeing a fuss about nothing but when he does poo maybr once a day he will go 3/4 times in a 5 min period and will fill a good nappy each time.

I am slowly getting used to the mornings and my partner has now started to take over when he gets home so i can either have`a bath or paint my nails and have an hour me time.

Bailey is such a good little boy and i think if i can stop this straining he would settle much easier as`this is the only thing that un settles him.

someone recommended aptimil for constipation he is currently on cow gate premium. what do you recommend??


Sarah

 

[Em78]

Alex used to get a bit of trapped wind that made him like that. we used either infacol or gripe water. both worked, infacol was better at getting burps up and gripe water seemd to result in a big fart depends which end the gas is coming from? !


glad things are starting to get a little better. its hard to imagine how you get through it when you look back but you do cope somehow and it doesnt last long. sometimes it can feel like you spend all your time caring for them and not much time to enjoy them now we have so much fun rolling bout on the floor together i cant be bothered with housework!

x

 

[Dee1985]

give him some water in between feeds with suger in it, helps harley

 

[Sarahe]

Thanks Dionne I have started this and we did get a little package this morning after 4 hours of straining I felt so helpless for him.

Em78 Thanks for the tip for infacol and gripe water I have both and did start using infacol when we first brought him home but I dont think this is the problem as he can burp both his mum and dad under the table he burps all the time either with our help or on his own.

The health visitor thinks the straining is now a habit and that he will grow out of it.

Sarah x

 

[emilia]

Hi Sarah...
I'm a bit late adding here, butI know how you feel!! Oscar was 2 weeks old when DH accepted job 2.5 hours from home, which meant he couldn't live at home.

It took time to figure things out with a baby and my other 2 children. Only way I could get a shower, was to put Oscar in his pram. He could see me and was quiet the moment I turned the shower on.

It gets easier... I also reccommend a lie-in - just ignore the door bell!
You're doing a grand job!!! The hardest one on earth!

Emilia xx

 

[Duds]

Havent read all the replies so sorry if I repeat. Hope you are finding things a little easier they do get better - well actually they dont but you get better at coping with it.

Def try swaddling if you havent already, wish I had earlier with Aimee.

x

 

[lisa31]

Hi Sarah

This sounds a bit like Heidi with regards to the unsettledness and straining (the skin around her eyes used to go soo red from straining). She used to be on Cow and gate Premium - and we changed to Cow and Gate Omeno Comfort milk and it has made such a difference. if you think the pain of trapped wind may be a problem I would also recommend Dentionx colic drops - Heidi is so much better after being swictched to these two. Of cousrse, they may not work for you but it is certainly worth a try

If you want any more info - PM me!

L x

 

[Sarahe]

Hi Lisa

Thanks for your reply.

After a night of 2 hours sleep and a very restless, windy Bailey finaly fell asleep at 7 am this morning.

I am shattered and exhausted i finally called in my health visitor as I couldnt cope any more, I rarley get more then 3/4 hours a night and last night tipped me over board.

She has also recomended the omnio comfort as she feels he could have problems digesting his milk which is causeing his pain.

I am getting it when my partner returns home and hopefully this will help his discomfort.

Sarah xx

 

[lisa31]

Hows it going with the change of milk Sarah?

L x