Homeschooling
- Thread starter Tommo
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I don't plan to as I worry about the social interaction as I do feel personally it's important for children to interact and have the bonds they make at school. That said there must be homeschooling forums you will get lots of advice on can I ask why you want to home school am curious as for us it wouldn't even be considered unless due to illness of some kind child couldnt go to school. 
hope that hasn't read to bossy and preachy just my opinion!
hope that hasn't read to bossy and preachy just my opinion! 
Ammdaz
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I seriously considered homeschooling but my main reason for deciding against it in the end was the social interaction side of things. I know there are homeschool groups etc but I'm quite shy and not really the type to join in things like that so I was worried I'd inhibit my children's opportunities to socialise and make friends. DS has just started Reception. I was really worried about it as he is also quite shy and struggled a bit at nursery but he absolutely loves school! He's really come out of himself since starting so I feel I made the right decision in the end. I'd be interested to hear your reasons for considering homeschooling. I still feel that school has its disadvantages and I struggle sometimes with the fact that DS spends 6 and a half hours away from me 5 days a week being taught by someone who isn't me! His teacher does a great job but there are things I'd like him to learn that he won't learn at school and there are so many places I want to take him and opportunities are restricted with him at school. Xxx
Tommo
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Yeah, obviously the socialisation thing has concerned me too, and I would never have decided to home-school without conducting some kind of research on it. It seems the arguments underlining it as a problem seem to be mostly anecdotal, as statistically, home-schooled children tend to have socialisation skills as apt at schooled children and their ability to interact is often better. Especially so in a wider range of social situations that are not only limited to same-aged peer groups, for example, home-schooled children are more successful at establishing independent relationships with adults and the elderly. (They learn how to relate to them through mutual respect, not fear.)
Being out of the school environment also enables children to make friendships based on common interests and positive qualities, rather than the chance placement of peers at a table, or alphabetically. It allows homeschooled children to develop a healthier sense of character judgement.
Another perk of homeschooling is enabling children not to be victimised by bullying. Although they may experience it, they're less likely to consider themselves victims of it, by having the freedom to leave the room or area if they become attacked. I understand that some parents allow their children to be exposed to it in order to 'harden them up', but that is not my style of parenting. After all, I would never endure a bully, and I would not expect my son to.
So in reality, the socialisation argument is completely baseless, especially in the case of my son who at 4 is already attending a weekly dance class and has made friends and is learning group skills. Next year we're hoping for him to pick a sports club to take part in, and when he is 6 we will be encouraging him to learn an instrument, and partaking in things like BB or scouts. In fact, without the early starts and gruelling school day, I expect he'll have more energy and a fresher attitude toward his hobbies.
I find it strange that people see school as the source of socialisation, considering the only time children are allowed to talk is break and lunch!! The amount of times I was told "you're here to learn, not socialise!" LOL
Anyway, aside from that. The main reason I want to home-school my son is that I feel it will benefit him more. The method of homeschooling that we are adopting is called Unschooling, which can be seen as slightly radical although my husband and I are adopting a more eclectic approach.
We don't follow the government laid curriculum, instead what my son learns will be interest led, allowing him to enter a subject and enjoy, and explore it to whatever depth he likes, and allowing his interests to flow naturally.
School covers all bases and builds a wide range of blocks for the sixteen year old to decide which to step from, Unschooling allows to child to focus on a particular subject or subjects and develop them into passions to step from. Unschooled children often finish college or uni much earlier because they have not needed to cover as many basics, which is ideal for any child but of course the education system's resources couldn't realistically allow that.
Unschooling also infuses life and learning together, rather than separate them as school tends to. Resources are endless, field trips are spontaneous and plenty, so that the child can learn as much as possible from experience rather than textbook and most importantly, the child is empowered to self-teach. A invaluable skill by any employer or university's standard. He wont grow to associate learning with 9-3 uniform clad, sitting up straight, lining up or scolding; it will be limitless to him. He'll probably never think "I'm too old to learn that" or "it's too late now". I hope he will never cap his intake of information or arsenal of skills.
We're so excited to start although we probably wont until he's about 6 or 7. We want him to lead his own learning through interest. He's already the smartest child I know, he has been able to write his name since he was 2 and is almost a better drawer than I am. He can sing in perfect key and remembers rhymes and songs having only heard them once. He's too smart and talented to throw at the education system, and allow someone who doesn't love him to try to shape him
My god, that turned into the essay of the century, I've never written that much in my life. Hahaha
Being out of the school environment also enables children to make friendships based on common interests and positive qualities, rather than the chance placement of peers at a table, or alphabetically. It allows homeschooled children to develop a healthier sense of character judgement.
Another perk of homeschooling is enabling children not to be victimised by bullying. Although they may experience it, they're less likely to consider themselves victims of it, by having the freedom to leave the room or area if they become attacked. I understand that some parents allow their children to be exposed to it in order to 'harden them up', but that is not my style of parenting. After all, I would never endure a bully, and I would not expect my son to.
So in reality, the socialisation argument is completely baseless, especially in the case of my son who at 4 is already attending a weekly dance class and has made friends and is learning group skills. Next year we're hoping for him to pick a sports club to take part in, and when he is 6 we will be encouraging him to learn an instrument, and partaking in things like BB or scouts. In fact, without the early starts and gruelling school day, I expect he'll have more energy and a fresher attitude toward his hobbies.
I find it strange that people see school as the source of socialisation, considering the only time children are allowed to talk is break and lunch!! The amount of times I was told "you're here to learn, not socialise!" LOL
Anyway, aside from that. The main reason I want to home-school my son is that I feel it will benefit him more. The method of homeschooling that we are adopting is called Unschooling, which can be seen as slightly radical although my husband and I are adopting a more eclectic approach.
We don't follow the government laid curriculum, instead what my son learns will be interest led, allowing him to enter a subject and enjoy, and explore it to whatever depth he likes, and allowing his interests to flow naturally.
School covers all bases and builds a wide range of blocks for the sixteen year old to decide which to step from, Unschooling allows to child to focus on a particular subject or subjects and develop them into passions to step from. Unschooled children often finish college or uni much earlier because they have not needed to cover as many basics, which is ideal for any child but of course the education system's resources couldn't realistically allow that.
Unschooling also infuses life and learning together, rather than separate them as school tends to. Resources are endless, field trips are spontaneous and plenty, so that the child can learn as much as possible from experience rather than textbook and most importantly, the child is empowered to self-teach. A invaluable skill by any employer or university's standard. He wont grow to associate learning with 9-3 uniform clad, sitting up straight, lining up or scolding; it will be limitless to him. He'll probably never think "I'm too old to learn that" or "it's too late now". I hope he will never cap his intake of information or arsenal of skills.
We're so excited to start although we probably wont until he's about 6 or 7. We want him to lead his own learning through interest. He's already the smartest child I know, he has been able to write his name since he was 2 and is almost a better drawer than I am. He can sing in perfect key and remembers rhymes and songs having only heard them once. He's too smart and talented to throw at the education system, and allow someone who doesn't love him to try to shape him
My god, that turned into the essay of the century, I've never written that much in my life. Hahaha
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We're planning on homeschooling our LO, although its a long way off yet. I havent got much to add really, as a lot of our reasoning behind it is the same as Tommo has mentioned
It also seems like we'll be following a similar style of schooling as you Tommo, although i havent looked that deeply into different methods yet, it will absolutely be along the lines of 'unschooling'.
It also seems like we'll be following a similar style of schooling as you Tommo, although i havent looked that deeply into different methods yet, it will absolutely be along the lines of 'unschooling'.
Tommo
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Aww that's really exciting Sarah! What age is your little one? The great thing about homeschooling is being to start much later, as I know a lot of parents including myself feel that 4 is too young (3 if it's pre-school) to begin formal education.
I'd be excited to help out with links and good articles when the time comes for you to research xxx
I'd be excited to help out with links and good articles when the time comes for you to research xxx
He's nearly 7 months old so we've got a good few years ahead of us yet I just wanted to pop my hand up in a 'me too' sort of way...i'm surprised there arent more homeschoolers here actually.
I would love to pick your brains for links etc, even though its a while off, it never hurts to be prepared
I just wanted to pop my hand up in a 'me too' sort of way...i'm surprised there arent more homeschoolers here actually.I would love to pick your brains for links etc, even though its a while off, it never hurts to be prepared
Jajis
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I have thought about it in the past, in fact every time I hear schools mentioned in the news at the moment it makes me think I ought to be thinking about it more... however, unless OH's pay is radically increased between now and then it won't be possible as we need my income too (he goes to nursery two days a week currently).
Although maybe I'll look into it again, because as it stands A would start school when he is only 4 years and 1 month, because his birthday is at the start of August. This does break my heart, he'll still be a baby (well, toddler at least), not a schoolchild
Although maybe I'll look into it again, because as it stands A would start school when he is only 4 years and 1 month, because his birthday is at the start of August. This does break my heart, he'll still be a baby (well, toddler at least), not a schoolchild
kat1988
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this exactly! I don't think any school could teach any child all of what I want my children to know (I plan to teaching them extra languages from an early age to start with!) I plan on basically doing 'extra lessons' with my kids around school. Any info u could share would be very much appriciated!
Tommo
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Yeah I've got loads of good links and articles but they're mostly on my laptop and I'm on my phone right now. I'll hunt them down tomorrow and post them all.
Obviously I don't know any of your circumstances or situations, but a lot of what you might find about homeschooling will probably be from parents who took an enormous risk in order to do it. There's a surprising number of working single parents, and co-working families that make it work by somehow managing to fit it all in. But personally, I think the best dynamic is going to be at least one stay at home parent.
That's why I mentioned the risk because a lot of -usually- mothers had to take the leap of faith of leaving their job, messing their finances, sacrificing future holidays and new cars, because their children's lives were much more important. (IF you believe that the child's life could be that deeply affected: a lot of people don't.)
Something we've discovered is that the "mainstream" way of life; making money, spending money, owning things, buying things, having things, showing off your things, judging other people because of their things, is so detrimental to everything that the homeschooling ideal represents. (Unless you want to homeschool solely because you want your child to have a better job and be richer than his peers. But seriously, have you ever gotten that new job or promotion and discovered that you're just as unhappy because it wasn't the job, or even money, that was the cause of the problem? I have! Haha)
My personal situation is this: we don't have a car, skyTV, catalogues, overdrafts, nothing like that, we don't own our home, up until a week ago I was on single parent benefits, we don't go on holiday, we don't even have a TV! Which I understand seems daunting to other people but it kind of happened by accident and when we realised all the things we didn't have, by a very corny it's-a-wonderful-life-way we realised all that we did have.
Which was unlimited family time, we all read -even my 4 year old- instead of watching tv.
We talk all day and night long (my husband and I are moving in together again after a spot of bother and it's amazing, I go to bed hoarse). We sing, play board games, cook food together, sit on the sofa and ask silly questions, quiz each other, we sit and draw or write funny stories to each other. I spend 50% of my time at home laughing! It's like the Walton's lol and other than my phone and the laptop, we have no electronic entertainment. We watch DVDs or stream films occasionally and it's brilliant cause there's no revolting advertising.
I realise I might seem like an utter hippy to you, but I swear I'm not at all. I'm completely normal! I adore fashion and Made in Chelsea, I am a proper girl. I'm just free from the hold of the mainstream way of life. An i don't want to sound smug but it's a miracle-type-of-change that I genuinely want to share with people. It's amazing to feel free from fear. So not having money in my bank doesn't scare me, not going on holiday or having holes in my tights doesn't bother me. I'm not too proud to ask for help or borrow money - I don't even understand what pride is or where It comes from. I come from a family of 5 and our love for each other seems to be based on helping each other out and paying each other back.
So for me, there wasn't much of a risk that I needed to take, as like I said, that all happened without me even noticing. Do you want to know what really hit it home the other day?
My husband and I are really anti-porn, to the point of probably offending a lot of people but we don't try to talk about it with people, only discuss it with each other.
Im 14 weeks pregnant and I think I'm having a little girl and my husband is terrified of what the world is going to be like for her when she becomes "of age", considering how fucking disgusting the world seems to be even today.
And I was at a friends house and she was watching music videos and Rihanna's new song came on, an I literally stopped breathing. Nobody batted an eyelid, nobody even noticed cause it was perfectly normal to them but I realised that in the few years since id watched tv, it became ok for women to act like that. And little girls are watching this and thinking "it's perfectly normal for me to imitate sex with an inanimate object for the propose of attracting attention" ummm hello; pole dancer? Stripper?
If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say I'm shocked by it, watch it again and picture a little girl doing it. Or picture a perfectly legal 18 year old straight out of school doing it and what all the men in the vicinity are thinking.
Anyway, that's when I realised I was doing the right thing and I don't even want a mortgage or an iPad!! I want my children to be smart, to be moral and have -MOST importantly (and I don't think can be achieved while being exposed to certain materials) - good mental health.
I don't want them to be happy, I want them to know how to be content and treat both happiness and sadness as temporary emotions that needn't control or define them.
I don't want them to outsmart people, I want them to empathise and understand people.
I don't want them to judge people's value by their appearance or their achievements, but to realise that even alcoholics and paedophiles are human, and their sickness robs them of their values. And to think very carefully but how they affect the lives of others.
I especially don't want them growing up to think that they are entitled to anything. Especially my son, if he ever thought that because he was a man, he was entitled to sex or sexual pleasure at the cost of embarrassment or exploitation of another human being, I would be well and truly ashamed.
Anyway, that was all very longwinded but all I really meant to say was that for those that really really want to, and they know it's the right thing to do, and they feel pain at the thought of handing their children over to the "mainstream" way, and it's fear that's holding them back.. I'd say do it anyway! If it's feasible, of course. Turning your back on "the way", I think can only be a good thing. The way isn't working, is it? It certainly wasn't working for me.
Here's a link with some really refreshing anecdotal reasons for unschooling at the end. It's worth the read if you too are doubting how things are done.
http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/f...he-benefits-unschooling-report-i-large-survey
Obviously I don't know any of your circumstances or situations, but a lot of what you might find about homeschooling will probably be from parents who took an enormous risk in order to do it. There's a surprising number of working single parents, and co-working families that make it work by somehow managing to fit it all in. But personally, I think the best dynamic is going to be at least one stay at home parent.
That's why I mentioned the risk because a lot of -usually- mothers had to take the leap of faith of leaving their job, messing their finances, sacrificing future holidays and new cars, because their children's lives were much more important. (IF you believe that the child's life could be that deeply affected: a lot of people don't.)
Something we've discovered is that the "mainstream" way of life; making money, spending money, owning things, buying things, having things, showing off your things, judging other people because of their things, is so detrimental to everything that the homeschooling ideal represents. (Unless you want to homeschool solely because you want your child to have a better job and be richer than his peers. But seriously, have you ever gotten that new job or promotion and discovered that you're just as unhappy because it wasn't the job, or even money, that was the cause of the problem? I have! Haha)
My personal situation is this: we don't have a car, skyTV, catalogues, overdrafts, nothing like that, we don't own our home, up until a week ago I was on single parent benefits, we don't go on holiday, we don't even have a TV! Which I understand seems daunting to other people but it kind of happened by accident and when we realised all the things we didn't have, by a very corny it's-a-wonderful-life-way we realised all that we did have.
Which was unlimited family time, we all read -even my 4 year old- instead of watching tv.
We talk all day and night long (my husband and I are moving in together again after a spot of bother and it's amazing, I go to bed hoarse). We sing, play board games, cook food together, sit on the sofa and ask silly questions, quiz each other, we sit and draw or write funny stories to each other. I spend 50% of my time at home laughing! It's like the Walton's lol and other than my phone and the laptop, we have no electronic entertainment. We watch DVDs or stream films occasionally and it's brilliant cause there's no revolting advertising.
I realise I might seem like an utter hippy to you, but I swear I'm not at all. I'm completely normal! I adore fashion and Made in Chelsea, I am a proper girl. I'm just free from the hold of the mainstream way of life. An i don't want to sound smug but it's a miracle-type-of-change that I genuinely want to share with people. It's amazing to feel free from fear. So not having money in my bank doesn't scare me, not going on holiday or having holes in my tights doesn't bother me. I'm not too proud to ask for help or borrow money - I don't even understand what pride is or where It comes from. I come from a family of 5 and our love for each other seems to be based on helping each other out and paying each other back.
So for me, there wasn't much of a risk that I needed to take, as like I said, that all happened without me even noticing. Do you want to know what really hit it home the other day?
My husband and I are really anti-porn, to the point of probably offending a lot of people but we don't try to talk about it with people, only discuss it with each other.
Im 14 weeks pregnant and I think I'm having a little girl and my husband is terrified of what the world is going to be like for her when she becomes "of age", considering how fucking disgusting the world seems to be even today.
And I was at a friends house and she was watching music videos and Rihanna's new song came on, an I literally stopped breathing. Nobody batted an eyelid, nobody even noticed cause it was perfectly normal to them but I realised that in the few years since id watched tv, it became ok for women to act like that. And little girls are watching this and thinking "it's perfectly normal for me to imitate sex with an inanimate object for the propose of attracting attention" ummm hello; pole dancer? Stripper?
If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say I'm shocked by it, watch it again and picture a little girl doing it. Or picture a perfectly legal 18 year old straight out of school doing it and what all the men in the vicinity are thinking.
Anyway, that's when I realised I was doing the right thing and I don't even want a mortgage or an iPad!! I want my children to be smart, to be moral and have -MOST importantly (and I don't think can be achieved while being exposed to certain materials) - good mental health.
I don't want them to be happy, I want them to know how to be content and treat both happiness and sadness as temporary emotions that needn't control or define them.
I don't want them to outsmart people, I want them to empathise and understand people.
I don't want them to judge people's value by their appearance or their achievements, but to realise that even alcoholics and paedophiles are human, and their sickness robs them of their values. And to think very carefully but how they affect the lives of others.
I especially don't want them growing up to think that they are entitled to anything. Especially my son, if he ever thought that because he was a man, he was entitled to sex or sexual pleasure at the cost of embarrassment or exploitation of another human being, I would be well and truly ashamed.
Anyway, that was all very longwinded but all I really meant to say was that for those that really really want to, and they know it's the right thing to do, and they feel pain at the thought of handing their children over to the "mainstream" way, and it's fear that's holding them back.. I'd say do it anyway! If it's feasible, of course. Turning your back on "the way", I think can only be a good thing. The way isn't working, is it? It certainly wasn't working for me.
Here's a link with some really refreshing anecdotal reasons for unschooling at the end. It's worth the read if you too are doubting how things are done.
http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/f...he-benefits-unschooling-report-i-large-survey
kat1988
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Thankyou, I've glanced at the articles you've posted and will have a proper read when I get the chance.
i am at the moment at least a stay at home mum, so technically homes hooling or unschooling could be an option for us, I think the thing that bothers me the most about a child not attending school at all is that they won't (or are very unlikely to) gain the same amount and type of qualifications as their peers. I know that qualifications in themselves are fairly arbitrary, what bothers me about this is that a lack of recognised wualifications or a lack of a lot of qualifications is likely to leave them behind when it comes to further education (if they choose it) or initially at least with jobs.
I agree with everything you've said above, I would obviously like my children to be able to compete with thier peers for jobs (for example) what do think? do you plan on puttin your children in for any formal qualifications? or are you going to let them decide when older?
i am at the moment at least a stay at home mum, so technically homes hooling or unschooling could be an option for us, I think the thing that bothers me the most about a child not attending school at all is that they won't (or are very unlikely to) gain the same amount and type of qualifications as their peers. I know that qualifications in themselves are fairly arbitrary, what bothers me about this is that a lack of recognised wualifications or a lack of a lot of qualifications is likely to leave them behind when it comes to further education (if they choose it) or initially at least with jobs.
I agree with everything you've said above, I would obviously like my children to be able to compete with thier peers for jobs (for example) what do think? do you plan on puttin your children in for any formal qualifications? or are you going to let them decide when older?
Tommo
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Yeah we're absolutely planning, or hoping rather that our kids will do all of their qualifications like gcse and A levels.
Our wish is to allow Tom to chose an ultimate path which he'll have as much time as he wants to choose (this family chose there's very young - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...ng-home-schooled-children-college-age-12.html).
Let's say for the sake of it he wants to study mechanical engineering. As soon as he wants to work toward it we'll look a universities and see what A levels he'll need to get in and what subjects he'll need to study.
So then we'll get say, maths, chemistry, physics, art, technology and anything else that will be relevant and study them at gcse level. Then simply enter gcse as an external applicant, which you can do anywhere at any age for about £20-40 per exam. If he's struggling with a particular subject, he can sign up for a class at tech, night class, home study through OU or similar. Or whatever it takes really. One of the skills we want him to learn is figuring it out for himself. This is what I want, this I what I need.
Same then with A level and he'll be able to gather UCAS points.
If that's what he wants to do! He might want to be an author or inventor, or accountant. All of which we would support!
It's very easy to get qualifications without going through school.. Of course they don't want you to know that! Lol
Edit: also, syllabus and practice papers are available to buy or download, so you can gather as much information as the teachers probably have. With less distractions and more time! Lol
Our wish is to allow Tom to chose an ultimate path which he'll have as much time as he wants to choose (this family chose there's very young - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...ng-home-schooled-children-college-age-12.html).
Let's say for the sake of it he wants to study mechanical engineering. As soon as he wants to work toward it we'll look a universities and see what A levels he'll need to get in and what subjects he'll need to study.
So then we'll get say, maths, chemistry, physics, art, technology and anything else that will be relevant and study them at gcse level. Then simply enter gcse as an external applicant, which you can do anywhere at any age for about £20-40 per exam. If he's struggling with a particular subject, he can sign up for a class at tech, night class, home study through OU or similar. Or whatever it takes really. One of the skills we want him to learn is figuring it out for himself. This is what I want, this I what I need.
Same then with A level and he'll be able to gather UCAS points.
If that's what he wants to do! He might want to be an author or inventor, or accountant. All of which we would support!
It's very easy to get qualifications without going through school.. Of course they don't want you to know that! Lol
Edit: also, syllabus and practice papers are available to buy or download, so you can gather as much information as the teachers probably have. With less distractions and more time! Lol
Pixel
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We're trying to get the business ready for me to step aside for a while but I do worry about what will happen without my leadership and direction. So much can change in such a short time. Maybe everyone will be fine without me! That being said, I do want to be a positive role model for my kids and lead by example
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Tommo
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Yeah I totally understand, I think that's brilliant.
I didn't mean to imply that in order to be a good parent, or for homeschooling to work you had to leave your job. Only that a lot of families, and I include myself in this, find that having a stay at home parent is the best dynamic. (Nobody said it has to be the mum!! lol)
What I should have added, and thought I had said, is that I am only one person with one person's opinions, and if your values aren't the same as mine that doesn't at all mean that you can't homeschool or that I think you're doing anything wrong. By expressing my view of the whole thing, I was only looking to find like-minded people who could help me expand my ideas, and of course, those with opposing views. The range of people who homeschool and believe in homeschooling is so vast, I love hearing more about it.
The bit about money and sacrifice was more aimed toward people who really really want to homeschool/unschool, and feel like they need to, but its fear that's holding them back.
I only wanted to create a safe idea that it could actually work in their favour. That maybe they don't NEED all the things they think they do, but they've been told that they do. It could well be lies and distractions, like I discovered.
But I didn't mean to say that people who feel the opposite are wrong. Or that people who needed to work were un-sacrificing, or shouldn't try to homeschool.
I think its brilliant that you know what your family needs to function and that you do what you do to keep those needs met.
Its actually the same ideal that I'm passionate about sharing, your situation just happens to have opposite needs. But its knowing what your family needs, and doing what you can to get it, regardless of what you've been told. Even if it conflicts with everything you already thought you needed.
For you its making sure you're working and you have your income source, and your routine.
For me its the opposite, not being responsible for money, having freedom and being with my son everyday.
For you, your idea of hell is being unemployed and not having the ability to do what you need to do.
I wanted to relate to people who, like me, their idea of hell is not being able to be at home with their family, and feeling like they need, or being told that they're needed to work, and not having the ability to do what they need to do. Do you know what I mean?
The 'nuclear' family, or that mainstream way I was talking about, is (sorry for sounding anti-establishment, I'm actually not at all) like a government created idea to get everyone out and paying taxes, regardless of what their needs are.
I feel like all its ideals are lies, as I mentioned before about 'buy this, you need it to be happy', 'people on benefits are robbing your taxes', 'you're entitled to this, you're entitled to that', they're all just lies fed to people to make them act a certain way.
Does that sound crazy? Do I sound extremist?
Would it be even more conspiracy-esque to say that its almost like they want us to be unhappy, so we keep spending money on our attempted happiness?
I do believe that the government wants the best for its people, but it has decided what 'the best' is, and its actually not the case for my family.
But that doesn't apply to you at all, clearly. You work out of necessity, not out of want of things which you're told will make you happy. I completely respect that and I think its brilliant.
If you are still considering or toying with the idea of homeschooling, though, I'd be happy to try and find some relevant articles or links, now that I understand your individual situation. I can never get enough of reading or learning about homeschooling, and I'd be happy to discover more and help if I can.
Also, I think its really interesting, how parallel but opposite our lives seem to be.
I also suffered a really severe depression that I thought was going to kill me. I was thinking about it last night, remembering that feeling of knowing I was going to die before the next day but not entirely sure of how I was going to manage it. If I didn't have my son I expect I would have killed myself, so dark was the place I was in. There was no way you could have convinced me that even the slightest sliver of light was going to get in.
Getting pregnant, for me, has marked the end of that whole battle. Almost like the celebration feast at the end of the winter.
For me, the depression was caused by the mainstream idea. It was my husband trying to live up to what he was told he had to be, and me doing the same. We were both unhappy, everything we did to make happiness was making us more miserable. Money was overshadowed by misery at work. My husband turned to obsessive xbox playing and porn, which only made him more miserable. I turned to drink which only made me more miserable. Somewhere in all of this I had the vague realisation that I was replacing 'love' with 'stuff'. But was too trapped under the mainstream idea to let go of any of it. I thought that I was defined by my bank, and by my 'stuff'. That people wouldn't respect me if I lost either.
In the end, like I've mentioned before, the decision was made for me, and all I was capable of, was trying every day not to kill myself. Next thing I know, my husband in our separation has turned into a new man, and I realise I have too. (Woman)
We both had to shed a lot of old skin, but we're getting there, like you are too. We've used God as our corner stone.
I didn't mean to imply that in order to be a good parent, or for homeschooling to work you had to leave your job. Only that a lot of families, and I include myself in this, find that having a stay at home parent is the best dynamic. (Nobody said it has to be the mum!! lol)
What I should have added, and thought I had said, is that I am only one person with one person's opinions, and if your values aren't the same as mine that doesn't at all mean that you can't homeschool or that I think you're doing anything wrong. By expressing my view of the whole thing, I was only looking to find like-minded people who could help me expand my ideas, and of course, those with opposing views. The range of people who homeschool and believe in homeschooling is so vast, I love hearing more about it.
The bit about money and sacrifice was more aimed toward people who really really want to homeschool/unschool, and feel like they need to, but its fear that's holding them back.
I only wanted to create a safe idea that it could actually work in their favour. That maybe they don't NEED all the things they think they do, but they've been told that they do. It could well be lies and distractions, like I discovered.
But I didn't mean to say that people who feel the opposite are wrong. Or that people who needed to work were un-sacrificing, or shouldn't try to homeschool.
I think its brilliant that you know what your family needs to function and that you do what you do to keep those needs met.
Its actually the same ideal that I'm passionate about sharing, your situation just happens to have opposite needs. But its knowing what your family needs, and doing what you can to get it, regardless of what you've been told. Even if it conflicts with everything you already thought you needed.
For you its making sure you're working and you have your income source, and your routine.
For me its the opposite, not being responsible for money, having freedom and being with my son everyday.
For you, your idea of hell is being unemployed and not having the ability to do what you need to do.
I wanted to relate to people who, like me, their idea of hell is not being able to be at home with their family, and feeling like they need, or being told that they're needed to work, and not having the ability to do what they need to do. Do you know what I mean?
The 'nuclear' family, or that mainstream way I was talking about, is (sorry for sounding anti-establishment, I'm actually not at all) like a government created idea to get everyone out and paying taxes, regardless of what their needs are.
I feel like all its ideals are lies, as I mentioned before about 'buy this, you need it to be happy', 'people on benefits are robbing your taxes', 'you're entitled to this, you're entitled to that', they're all just lies fed to people to make them act a certain way.
Does that sound crazy? Do I sound extremist?
Would it be even more conspiracy-esque to say that its almost like they want us to be unhappy, so we keep spending money on our attempted happiness?
I do believe that the government wants the best for its people, but it has decided what 'the best' is, and its actually not the case for my family.
But that doesn't apply to you at all, clearly. You work out of necessity, not out of want of things which you're told will make you happy. I completely respect that and I think its brilliant.
If you are still considering or toying with the idea of homeschooling, though, I'd be happy to try and find some relevant articles or links, now that I understand your individual situation. I can never get enough of reading or learning about homeschooling, and I'd be happy to discover more and help if I can.
Also, I think its really interesting, how parallel but opposite our lives seem to be.
I also suffered a really severe depression that I thought was going to kill me. I was thinking about it last night, remembering that feeling of knowing I was going to die before the next day but not entirely sure of how I was going to manage it. If I didn't have my son I expect I would have killed myself, so dark was the place I was in. There was no way you could have convinced me that even the slightest sliver of light was going to get in.
Getting pregnant, for me, has marked the end of that whole battle. Almost like the celebration feast at the end of the winter.
For me, the depression was caused by the mainstream idea. It was my husband trying to live up to what he was told he had to be, and me doing the same. We were both unhappy, everything we did to make happiness was making us more miserable. Money was overshadowed by misery at work. My husband turned to obsessive xbox playing and porn, which only made him more miserable. I turned to drink which only made me more miserable. Somewhere in all of this I had the vague realisation that I was replacing 'love' with 'stuff'. But was too trapped under the mainstream idea to let go of any of it. I thought that I was defined by my bank, and by my 'stuff'. That people wouldn't respect me if I lost either.
In the end, like I've mentioned before, the decision was made for me, and all I was capable of, was trying every day not to kill myself. Next thing I know, my husband in our separation has turned into a new man, and I realise I have too. (Woman)
We both had to shed a lot of old skin, but we're getting there, like you are too. We've used God as our corner stone.
Pixel
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I don't think we're so different, I agree with a lot of what you say.
I also find advertising to be a disgusting intrusion that I try and avoid as much as possible! I don't particularly care about having material possessions as such, but when you've been in my position it makes you a little more wary about being financially stable. I don't think i was being very clear I'm not even talking about savings ( we don't have those) more about knowing that you can afford to live. I'm taking about living without the threat of being evicted, without council bailiffs knocking on the door, money for food, gas and electric.
Right now I'm happy to have money for those things, to have a car and the freedom that it brings (can't tell you how nice it is to have a car again), to be able to buy clothes and have a haircut without my mum paying. Having a roast dinner with a glass of wine. I'm talking about the little things that so many people take for granted. Unless you've lived it, its very difficult to describe.
The truth is most people wouldn't have the stomach for our lifestyle, even now we can't predict what will happen in our business. For example, about a year and a half ago before things took off there was a time when we ran out of money to the point where we couldn't afford bus fair to get to the office. We kept going though and although we will never let that happen again things can get hairy at times.
This will be our first baby and at the moment I have no idea how the lifestyle change will effect me. I think I'll find motherhood as rewarding, challenging and satisfying as I do my business but I'm also afraid of suffering from depression again. I think that I'm much better equipped now and I recognise those patterns and know what to do if I find myself being in that direction. I feel like I was born to be a mother and like you I think finally I know what "happiness" feels like once again because although my life has improved considerably in the past few years the sense of apathy has remained. I'd forgotten what if felt like and often wondered.
I guess what I'm saying is that I agree with you about money not being so important, but having enough to live really is and I'm pretty sure we can all agree on that. I have no idea how I'll feel about being at home with my little girl and I'm really excited to find out.
As for the homeschooling, I LOVE the idea, there are so many things I want to teach her. Right now I don't know if it will be possible, so much can change in the next few years. I'm definitely open minded though
I also find advertising to be a disgusting intrusion that I try and avoid as much as possible! I don't particularly care about having material possessions as such, but when you've been in my position it makes you a little more wary about being financially stable. I don't think i was being very clear I'm not even talking about savings ( we don't have those) more about knowing that you can afford to live. I'm taking about living without the threat of being evicted, without council bailiffs knocking on the door, money for food, gas and electric.
Right now I'm happy to have money for those things, to have a car and the freedom that it brings (can't tell you how nice it is to have a car again), to be able to buy clothes and have a haircut without my mum paying. Having a roast dinner with a glass of wine. I'm talking about the little things that so many people take for granted. Unless you've lived it, its very difficult to describe.
The truth is most people wouldn't have the stomach for our lifestyle, even now we can't predict what will happen in our business. For example, about a year and a half ago before things took off there was a time when we ran out of money to the point where we couldn't afford bus fair to get to the office. We kept going though and although we will never let that happen again things can get hairy at times.
This will be our first baby and at the moment I have no idea how the lifestyle change will effect me. I think I'll find motherhood as rewarding, challenging and satisfying as I do my business but I'm also afraid of suffering from depression again. I think that I'm much better equipped now and I recognise those patterns and know what to do if I find myself being in that direction. I feel like I was born to be a mother and like you I think finally I know what "happiness" feels like once again because although my life has improved considerably in the past few years the sense of apathy has remained. I'd forgotten what if felt like and often wondered.
I guess what I'm saying is that I agree with you about money not being so important, but having enough to live really is and I'm pretty sure we can all agree on that. I have no idea how I'll feel about being at home with my little girl and I'm really excited to find out.
As for the homeschooling, I LOVE the idea, there are so many things I want to teach her. Right now I don't know if it will be possible, so much can change in the next few years. I'm definitely open minded though
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Tommo
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Aww thanks for replying, yeah I think we're very similar.
I actually love talking to people who have suffered from depression and I love talking about my own experiences too. That prob sounds awful, but it's great to unite under a big life changing similarity like that. Mental illness feels so isolating, but it's so so common that it really shouldn't be.
I always fear falling back into old ways and getting dark again but my husband notices those patterns before I even do. And he won't go to work or leave the room until I communicate to him what might be wrong. He's my total rock, to think that I half-loathed him for half of our marriage!! Lol
I know what you mean about poverty, I have lived like that too. My brother is 6 years older than me and suffers from severe brittle bones so that he's completely crippled and although he lives independently, he has very limited mobility.
Meant that only one of my parents could work at a time and would often find themselves losing their job if they had to suddenly leave cause my brother had a fracture. (From Birth to 18 years old he had 250+ breaks and fractures.) the benefits they were entitled to barely paid for their car and fuel to drive to Belfast and back to visit him (about 60 miles away).
We were constantly using the fire to cook and candles as light cause we had no electricity. We stole potatoes from fields for dinner and hunted our own meat. We got our milk from a goat, carrots and apples from the garden. We lived like proper peasants!! Things got better for us when my brother got older and had less accidents and my sister was able to work to bring money in.
My parents remember that as the darkest time, for me in my memories it was always great fun! I loved it lol
I've never had my hair cut professionally or been on holiday - I've never left the UK. Our wedding cost £400! I am the queen of bargains lol
I think because I grew up with it, I adapted to it and it's another reason I don't really fear it. We don't have bailiffs in this country (thank god) but I have been evicted, and my son and I have been in the position of having nowhere to live, no money. After my husband left my we had literally nothing. I had to sell everything to pay for a deposit (hence why no TV lol) and I don't even know how we got by. But we did, and always do.
I feel very lucky I have had the up bringing that I did in those circumstances. If I had experienced that for the first time as an adult, I'm not sure I would have known what to do.
I actually love talking to people who have suffered from depression and I love talking about my own experiences too. That prob sounds awful, but it's great to unite under a big life changing similarity like that. Mental illness feels so isolating, but it's so so common that it really shouldn't be.
I always fear falling back into old ways and getting dark again but my husband notices those patterns before I even do. And he won't go to work or leave the room until I communicate to him what might be wrong. He's my total rock, to think that I half-loathed him for half of our marriage!! Lol
I know what you mean about poverty, I have lived like that too. My brother is 6 years older than me and suffers from severe brittle bones so that he's completely crippled and although he lives independently, he has very limited mobility.
Meant that only one of my parents could work at a time and would often find themselves losing their job if they had to suddenly leave cause my brother had a fracture. (From Birth to 18 years old he had 250+ breaks and fractures.) the benefits they were entitled to barely paid for their car and fuel to drive to Belfast and back to visit him (about 60 miles away).
We were constantly using the fire to cook and candles as light cause we had no electricity. We stole potatoes from fields for dinner and hunted our own meat. We got our milk from a goat, carrots and apples from the garden. We lived like proper peasants!! Things got better for us when my brother got older and had less accidents and my sister was able to work to bring money in.
My parents remember that as the darkest time, for me in my memories it was always great fun! I loved it lol
I've never had my hair cut professionally or been on holiday - I've never left the UK. Our wedding cost £400! I am the queen of bargains lol
I think because I grew up with it, I adapted to it and it's another reason I don't really fear it. We don't have bailiffs in this country (thank god) but I have been evicted, and my son and I have been in the position of having nowhere to live, no money. After my husband left my we had literally nothing. I had to sell everything to pay for a deposit (hence why no TV lol) and I don't even know how we got by. But we did, and always do.
I feel very lucky I have had the up bringing that I did in those circumstances. If I had experienced that for the first time as an adult, I'm not sure I would have known what to do.
Sorry I haven't read the whole thread but just thought I'd pop in as I was partly home schooled and later my parents home schooled my sister also. I liked school but it became difficult due to health problems so I did the last couple of years of schooling as home schooling and it was a good choice. I think either has advantages and disadvantages. I found I learned much more in much less time at home. There are social aspects that are nice about school but lots of people who are home schooled are socially well adapted adults. For me I actually found school physically very taxing so I had little time left over to enjoy the social aspect. When I started home schooling it was a great relief and I finally had energy to spend time with my friends too. It is a lot of work for a parent to home school and requires dedication and organization but as long as you put the work in I think it can be great. So far we plan to send our daughter to school but I would always keep home schooling in mind as an option. Hope it goes well for you.
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