Hi! I'm new, and a question.

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by Milk no sugar, Jul 28, 2016.

  1. Milk no sugar

    Milk no sugar Member

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    Hello, I'm Milk no sugar. I've just joined so a little about me before I ask a question.

    I'm 27, currently unemployed with an interest in becoming a nurse.

    I've been married for almost 4 years and have 3 children, aged 2 1/2 and 1 and 1 (twins). All boys!

    Now for the question, I was adamant after having the twins that they would be our last children, however, the last few weeks I've been feeling like we aren't quite finished. Me and H have discussed the possibility of trying for another in a few years, probably when the boys start school. But we both want a girl, having had 3 boys who are all loved. I know there's no guarantees and we would be happy and blessed either way.

    Does anybody have any experience of gender swaying? Did it work for you? I don't know much about it and we aren't completely sure if we want anymore children yet. Any info is very welcome.

    Thanks, Milk no sugar. :wave:
     
  2. Milk no sugar

    Milk no sugar Member

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    Anybody? Not even a hello?
     
  3. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    There are a few threads on this if you do a search :) We are struggling to get and stay pregnant so we don't really care which we get we are just desperate for a child! In an ideal world though we would like one of each.

    A lot of the methods seem to contradict each other (eg google the Shettles and Wilkie methods, which are basically the opposite of each other to achieve the same thing and therefore at least one if not both won't work).

    If you are really desperate and can afford to do it you can have your partners sperm sexed, it isn't legal in the UK unless there is a genetic issue but can be done in some other European countries. I believe the results are 73-75% accurate if you want a girl and 75-80% if you want a boy.
     
  4. Milk no sugar

    Milk no sugar Member

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    Thanks Snowbee. Plenty of vibes for a BFP and sticky for you soon. I'll look into both those methods you've suggested.
     
  5. babylove2016

    babylove2016 Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I know gender swaying is a hot topic of convo right now, but unfortunately there is no proof. Many have DTD before O and had boys and vice versa. If you're desperate for a girl, you could always do IVF or something where you can control it... although that's costly.

    Gl

    xx
     
  6. PeanutButter

    PeanutButter Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to PF.
    Like snow said, most of us aren't bothered which gender we have. But good luck with what ever one you want :)
    For a girl have sex few days before ovulation. For a boy day before and day of ovulation. Male sperm swing faster but do not last as long as female sperm. Obviously you can have one or the other but this is what I've herd is the best way to have what ever one x
     
    #6 PeanutButter, Jul 29, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2016
  7. Keelygracey

    Keelygracey Well-Known Member

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    Welcome :)

    If I could choose I would love a boy! I had read briefly about swaying for a boy but haven't really done much of it! B6 is supposed to increase your chances of having a boy so maybe avoid that and I've been told your PH level influences gender - Girls favour a Acidic PH and boys an Alkaline PH! You can get PH testing strips, then you just need to eat/drink the right foods!

    I personally don't believe you really can gender sway though, although there must be a reason why people seem to just have boys or just girls! :)
     
    #7 Keelygracey, Jul 29, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2016
  8. ClaireDoll

    ClaireDoll Well-Known Member

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    I hope you understand that you'll find most of us would love to be able to have either and don't have a preference or method to try for either sex as a lot of us on here struggle to get a BFP or a sticky bean at all. Good luck.
     
  9. Milk no sugar

    Milk no sugar Member

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    Hi ClaireDoll, yes I do understand that and I wish you all the best with TTC. I didn't think it would be right to ask this question in any other section of the forum. As I have said, ultimately if we did decide to TTC again then we would be happy with either gender but our preferred would be a girl. There's no harm in reading up on theories about gender swaying or asking others for information in my opinion.
     
  10. Milk no sugar

    Milk no sugar Member

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    TBH ClaireDoll I'm a little upset by your reply. Just because we are considering our options for the future and looking into gender swaying doesn't mean that we've had an easy ride with TTC, pregnancy and parenting. In fact we've had an extremely difficult 15+ months. Don't assume that we've had it easy as I wouldn't with anybody else.
     
  11. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    Hello,

    I don't think she did imply that at all. You were wondering why people hadn't replied and Claire was offering a reason as to why your post maybe wasn't so popular. She never made any judgement on your journey to and in motherhood! I haven't replied because this isn't a topic I can relate to. I have a son with adhd, suspected autism and sensory issues but I'd have another 10 of him if it meant I could be a mother again. I'm sure Claire and a lot of others feel the same and can't imagine not having sex on a certain day etc just to pick the gender. It's personal opinion on this matter which I'm sure you respect.

    Wishing you lots of luck on your ttc journey whatever you decide :) xx
     
    #11 MrsS15, Jul 29, 2016
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  12. Milk no sugar

    Milk no sugar Member

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    Perhaps I have jumped the gun. The way I read the reply it came across quite harsh. I've had a difficult day though so I'm perhaps not in the right place to make those judgements.

    I completely understand what you are saying about having 10 more of your son's. My son (twin 2) was born with TOFs, amongst other medical conditions. He's spent approximately half his life in hospital so far and had 12/13 operations. I wouldn't change him for the world, not any of my son's for that matter. That doesn't stop me wondering what it would be like to have a girl though. I'm going to leave now as I feel I've got off on the wrong foot.

    All the best to you all in your TTC journeys. X
     
  13. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    Honestly there's no need to do that hun. We're really a lovely bunch and I don't think the post was meant harsh at all! We all have off days so don't worry!

    Sorry to hear about your son. Is that where your interest in nursing is from? I'm a children's nurse on a surgical ward and work with children like your son every day, it's tough! Xx
     
  14. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

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    Try googling the Shettles Method as that is supposed to help conceive a girl.

    I think any kind of gender preference can be a hot topic for many.

    I've recently gone through my third consecutive miscarriage. I would be thrilled to have a bring home baby of any gender, but in my heart of hearts I would really love a little girl. I have a son already and I love him more than anything on this earth, so I know that it won't really matter what gender our next one is as I'll love it so much. But, the longing for a pink one I'd still there.

    XX
     
  15. Milk no sugar

    Milk no sugar Member

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    You got it in one MrsS15. Spending a lot of time on PICU with him, whilst he was on a ventilator etc with not much I could do for him sparked an interest. I've never really spent much time in hospital before that. Nurses are amazing people. I owe a lot to them.
     
  16. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    That's nice of you to say. It's quite a thankless profession unfortunately. I love my job though and couldn't imagine doing anything else, although I'm just finished 4 night shifts so I'm sure my husband and son might disagree with the amount of grumping I'm doing :lol: how is your son now?

    I think deep down a lot of people will have a preference, it's the fine line between having a slight preference and actually being disappointed with what sex you get. That's what upsets me! I'm probably 51% boy and 49% girl :lol: but genuinely I don't care! Just a wee healthy baby in my arms would be amazing. I think more so with my job, I see too much pain and heartache that just one who's healthy would be all I'd be hoping for xx
     
    #16 MrsS15, Jul 29, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2016
  17. Milk no sugar

    Milk no sugar Member

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    You must be tired.

    He was in two different hospitals Mon-Wed and my husband was working away which he never does, so that was hard. He's on antibiotics and seems to be getting better now though.

    I used to think the same about "just wanting baby to be healthy" before I had my son. Now I know that, health is great to hope for but in reality if the baby isn't "healthy" it doesn't matter, as long as they are loved.

    The more I think about it the less I think we will try for any more. Going from 3-4 is a huge step and I don't know if it would be right for us.
     
  18. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

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    I think you're right in that everyone has a preference to a certain extent.

    Gender disappointment is a very real issue for many women though. I think it's a very misunderstood one too. I was initially disappointed to be told that I was having a boy and I cannot even begin to tell you the guilt that went with that. I wanted the baby that I was carrying, I wanted my son and I felt awful that he might think I didn't want him because in loved him so much already. If they had said to me, well it's a boy and you want a girl so we'll take him away I would never in a million years have even considered it! Gender disappointment isn't about not wanting what you've got, it's about wanting what you haven't got.

    XX
     
  19. ClaireDoll

    ClaireDoll Well-Known Member

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    Milk, I wasn't aware I said anything different to the other ladies, but if you took offence to anything I said or it came across differently then I do apologise, as MrsS said I wasn't aware of your situation at all so there was no judgement whatsoever, was just offering another opinion as to why no one had really answered your post as in my experience on this forum most girls I was talking to have been trying for years and have no interest in gender swaying and was just saying I hope you could understand that might be why your post wasn't getting answered as we don't have any experience with what you were asking.
     

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