He's taking over!!!!!

[Vickyleigh]

I have made several posts saying how brilliant my OH has been since we found out I'm pregnant but now it feels like he is driving me crazy!
He only gets the weekends of work and he keeps going into town by himself and buying loads of baby stuff. This saturday just gone he went into town in the morning and came back with a lot of baby stuff so I told him I'm glad he is so excited about the baby but I would rather he waited for a bit before getting anything else. He went back into town that afternoon to get a padlock and again I told him Do not buy any more baby stuff so he only comes back with 3 bags full of more baby things! It wouldn't be so bad if I was with him but he's getting everything without me and it feels like he is taking over completly!!! For a start he keeps buying all blue stuff and mainly boyish things, what if it's a girl?!!! He bought this crappy blue bouncy chair thing when he knew I had my heart set on a vibrating yellow bouncy chair from mothercare. Sorry I had to have a good old rant and get it off my chest.

 

[Sabrina]

Hi Vicky

Sounds like your OH really is very excited.

I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit envious as I read your post. See my OH really hasn't acknowledged the baby much at all just yet. Yes, he's told his friends, family and work but he doesn't hardly talk about LO at all unless I mention him.

If money is no issue for you and you can put up with your OH's spending sprees maybe it's not such a bad thing. It could save you a lot of time/bother a bit later on when you really don't feel like hot footing it around the shops. Perhaps you could give him a research project to take his mind off the shopping like... to check out the best pram or best cot available etc. That might help.

Hugs
Sabrina
x

 

[Vickyleigh]

He's already got the pram lol. I know I sound selfish and It's really nice that he is so enthusiastic about the baby but I just wish he wouldn't buy everything without me I wanted us to get everything together. I'm lucky to have someone like him but I guess I just feel a bit smoothered at times.

 

[MissGobby]

wow i would be dead chuffed if my DF bought things for me LOL

but i know what you mean, i think i would be well peed off if he was buying EVERYTHING without me there, i mean a few clothes and bits dont hurt, but i would want us BOTH to buy the big things like pram, nursery furniture etc etc

xxxx xxxx

 

[Sabrina]

He's already got the pram lol. I know I sound selfish and It's really nice that he is so enthusiastic about the baby but I just wish he wouldn't buy everything without me I wanted us to get everything together. I'm lucky to have someone like him but I guess I just feel a bit smoothered at times.

Maybe you should just tell him how you feel. Ask him to slow down a bit with the major purchases especially. After all it is early days and there's something nice about having the excitement of browsing and buying things for your baby.

If that fails will you swap OH's for a week or so?? LOL

Sabrina
x

 

[whyslifesobig]

does he keep the recipts?
If he carries on then you will have to play him at his own game and buy a whole load of pink stuff
You can always ebay the stuff he buys and save the money until he has burnt himself out then go together to get stuff you like too

 

[Vickyleigh]

I mean it wouldn't be half as bad if he would buy neutral colours but all the clothes he has bought is all stuff for a boy so if it is a girl then it's all a waste. Sabrina I have told him how I feel but an hour later he went back into town and bought more stuff. He's not listening to me and what I want. On saturday you couldn't move in the living room for baby stuff and I told him it's still early day's, what if something goes wrong! He told me that I upset him by saying that but the only thing that makes me paranoid that something will go wrong is seeing all the baby stuff every where. I know everything is ok because i've had a scan and I at least wanted to wait till after the next scan before we started going on mad baby shopping spree's but we can't even do that now because he has bought EVERYTHING except a cot!! It's just upset me that I told him it worries me when he buy's stuff so what does he go and do???!!!! Buy a load more stuff! Sorry I will blame the hormones h

 

[Nicola]

If things still have a tag on the store will change or give you store credit for it. It's certinally what I'd be doing. If he's kept the reciepts you can get cash refunds and buy what you like where you like but if he's paid on a bank card a lot of stores now are really particular about putting the money back onto the card used...perhaps have a chat with him or say "hey next time you go let me come with you" type thing.

 

[MummySian]

awww bless him for being so excited.
Just talk to him hunny, say your really pleased he is so excited but you want to buy all the major things together, xx

 

[Sabrina]

I agree it might be an idea to go with him next time he goes out! If he's bought everything already he clearly needs to ease up a bit now!

I'm totally with you on the hormones thing. I feel out of control of mine at times.


Sabrina

 

[Vickyleigh]

I think he has finally listened to me lol. If he goes into town this weekend then I'am going with him just to be on the safe side

 

[Urchin]

Eeeeekkk that would drive me mad too! I would want to have a part in deciding things, especially big stuff like the pram...some are just SO much better than others, and some are way too heavy and stuff. I'd be really annoyed if my OH bought a pram without asking me.

Tell him if he needs to buy things, to buy NAPPIES, VESTS, WIPES and SLEEPSUITS, in various sizes. You'll need a ton of these...more than outfits and stuff.

Also...what size is he buying? It's madness to buy too much in 0-3 as you might have a big baby and it'll grow out of them in 2 weeks!

 

[cassi]

I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit envious as I read your post. See my OH really hasn't acknowledged the baby much at all just yet. Yes, he's told his friends, family and work but he doesn't hardly talk about LO at all unless I mention him.

when i was pg i would 2nd that. And i would of loved him to talk about Jakob (before he was born) etc...

buuuut if he just went shopping like that and started getting everything id make him take it all back!!! maybe it sounds bad, but your pregnant and one of the most exciting things is going out and buying everything for the baby TOGETHER! ...I think he is getting abit too excited and forgetting about your feelings!! tell him its great he is getting things but you want to be a part of it....tell him he can still pay though

I dont think it sounds like he is meaning to be smothering but i think he probably thought you would like it but obviously maybe he dosnt realise that its exciting for you to go and get the stuff too....

 

[Vickyleigh]

I'm actually starting to feel bad for moaning about him. He only thought he was doing what's best and taking the stress off me so I bought him a Daddy card to say thanks for all he's done. I read in a magazine that they did tests on 17000 women who were pregnant and they say that eating lots of fruit reduces the risk of a miscarriage, I told my Boyfriend and he snuck out to the shop and came back with 2 carrier bags full of fruit! How can I fault him after that?! I feel so ungreatful now

 

[Urchin]

You're not ungrateful at all, it's OK to have a bit of a moan if you feel he's taking over.

He needs to remember you are excited too, and want to help with the choosing of the baby things. Tell him you want to go TOGETHER.