Hi
Not sure how to start. We have been having infertility treatment for almost a year now. Our first round of IUI didn't work. We were then moved on to ICSI, we had our egg transferred back in on the 7th of December and got a BFP on the 19th of December, we literally couldn't have been happier. I started to wee constantly, my breasts were so sore, I felt sick at certain times of the day, and was exhausted 100% of the time. I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I started to get cramping but the ACS unit advised this was normal and nothing to worry about unless there was bleeding, which there wasn't. So the 13th of Jan eventually came, we could barely contain our excitement about seeing our baby for the first time. When we got there the staff were fabulous, then the nightmare began. When the nurse began the internal scan she was smiling and chatting away, she searched this way and that, then all of a sudden the smile disappeared and a look of shock took over, after a second she composed herself and advised she would need to get a little help. My husband and I just looked at each other and knew something was horribly wrong. She came back with another nurse they both looked at the scan and advised that the baby hadn't grown and there was no heartbeat. We were completely devastated, it didn't seem real. There was no bleeding, how could the baby be dead? We were asked to attend the unit again the week after to confirm. The next week passed in a blur. We broke our parents and siblings hearts with the news, and went back the following week. After a very short time in the scan, the confirmation was given and a decision had to be made. We opted for medical management of missed miscarriage. Which we had the first tablet on Monday and spent Wednesday in the hospital epau to evacuate the "pregnancy product". Now that it is over I am left with the feeling that we don't have many more attempts at treatment and I am not even sure if I could cope with pregnancy again knowing now that even a BFP result means very little as something could go wrong again and we wouldn't know until the scan again. I am so confused and lost at the moment. My husband is fantastic and he is my rock, which is why I feel so awful for feeling lost when he is right there next to me doing everything he can and more to help me.
Sorry for going on so long, I just needed to get it all out.
Not sure how to start. We have been having infertility treatment for almost a year now. Our first round of IUI didn't work. We were then moved on to ICSI, we had our egg transferred back in on the 7th of December and got a BFP on the 19th of December, we literally couldn't have been happier. I started to wee constantly, my breasts were so sore, I felt sick at certain times of the day, and was exhausted 100% of the time. I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I started to get cramping but the ACS unit advised this was normal and nothing to worry about unless there was bleeding, which there wasn't. So the 13th of Jan eventually came, we could barely contain our excitement about seeing our baby for the first time. When we got there the staff were fabulous, then the nightmare began. When the nurse began the internal scan she was smiling and chatting away, she searched this way and that, then all of a sudden the smile disappeared and a look of shock took over, after a second she composed herself and advised she would need to get a little help. My husband and I just looked at each other and knew something was horribly wrong. She came back with another nurse they both looked at the scan and advised that the baby hadn't grown and there was no heartbeat. We were completely devastated, it didn't seem real. There was no bleeding, how could the baby be dead? We were asked to attend the unit again the week after to confirm. The next week passed in a blur. We broke our parents and siblings hearts with the news, and went back the following week. After a very short time in the scan, the confirmation was given and a decision had to be made. We opted for medical management of missed miscarriage. Which we had the first tablet on Monday and spent Wednesday in the hospital epau to evacuate the "pregnancy product". Now that it is over I am left with the feeling that we don't have many more attempts at treatment and I am not even sure if I could cope with pregnancy again knowing now that even a BFP result means very little as something could go wrong again and we wouldn't know until the scan again. I am so confused and lost at the moment. My husband is fantastic and he is my rock, which is why I feel so awful for feeling lost when he is right there next to me doing everything he can and more to help me.
Sorry for going on so long, I just needed to get it all out.
