Help/Rights/Rant/Work

[Miss]

I suppose I am looking for a little help by writing this but also to rant so bear with me and I apologise now.

I work for a small company - by small I mean my Boss (the owner), Myself and an Administrator. I have been with the company coming up 5 years. Due to this I informed my Boss very early of my pregnancy knowing that he would have to be able to cover my job and would need as much notice as possible.

I recently found out that my boss has been bitching about me to the administrator behind my back - which I confronted him about and he played down.

I had problems concentrating on my work after finding out i was pregnant which made me feel a little guilty at the end of day when I looked at what I had achieved so found myself staying a little longer. The one night my boss was in and I explained to him I was having problems concentrating and that was why I was still there to which I got the reply "Pull yourself together, you are not the first women to get pregnant" I was so taken back (I had not even mentioned anything about my pregnancy to him at that moment) I could not say anything lol Not like me at all!

Anyway I drove home crying lol I had not once brought up my pregnancy in the office after telling him (Working with 2 men it's just not the type of thing you talk about really is it......) in fact my boss brought up the pregnancy earlier that week when he laughed and said I would have to get a different car as there was no way I was fitting a pushchair in my boot.

So today I asked my boss when he needed my dates for maternity etc as me and OH were discussing it last night and the answer I got was "Whenever" I explained to him I did not want him calling me for all the names under the sun if he felt I had not given him enough notice on dates etc as I also had holiday to factor into everything. His answer "We will discuss it in January but I will not be happy if you decided to take your holiday before your maternity"

This has annoyed me because being due in June that is exactaly what I planned to do! Is this unreasonable on my part?

Basically I need to know if i am being treated fairly and in turn if I am being fair to my boss (Although at the moment I could happy run him over in my car with a little boot) As we are such a small company I do not have a HR person I can turn to or anyone I can speak with about this stuff or about the way my boss is except my boss so if anyone knows of any way I can get some advice I would be very grateful.

Also...I am being overly sensitive and hormonal? Thanks Ladies

 

[amandapanda]

No you are not being over sensitive or hormonal - he is being an ass!! Even though you don't have an HR dept you are certainly protected by law and have certain rights.....I know there are some people on here who work in HR so they are better to advise you than me - but I just wanted to show my support - you have done nothing wrong and he shouldn't be making you feel bad. xx

 

[Miss]

Thanks Amanda!

I really feel like a whiney bitch for coming on here and moaning but tbh I am at the end of my tether and completely stressed out. For the past month or so I have been running it over and over in my head and winding myself but then telling myself I am being over sensitive....deep down tho I don't think I am. xx

I hate working there now and yet I had 4 really good years there...I just don't understand.

I have spent most of my night on here looking a the Unison and USDAW websites - even tho our company is small and we are not part of a union - I thought i might be able to find some answers there but I have not gotten very far. If any of the ladies who work in HR are on here and read this I would be very very grateful if you could let me know your thoughts....even if it's just to tell me I am being daft.

 

[heidi-hi]

Sorry this isn't much help reguarding your rights etc but i agree with amandapanda. I think the way he is treating u is out of order.

As for the 'you are not the first women to get pregnant' comment to me that is one of the most patronising things that could be said to a pregnant woman. It was said to me a few weeks ago after i had been sick (i didnt make a deal out of it, just went to the toilet). Usually i would have exploded but i was that annoyed i couldnt speak, i walked out of the room and didnt say another word to the person for the rest of my time in their company that day.

Hope someone who knows what they are talking about reads this soon and gives u the advice u need, keeping my fingers crossed it gets sorted soon xxxx

 

[sexyamy2005]

have a look on here hun,

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents...amilies/Pregnancyandmaternityrights/index.htm

it might not answer all ur questions, but they are treating u like shit, and unless that have a legitimate reason to why u cant have leave b4 maternity, then they need to document this, & visa versa id write to him letting him know ur pregnancy, edd, & that u hope to have leave b4 due date and maternity leave starting, and if not then you would accept payment in leiu of time owed to you or something along those lines,

good luck

xxx

 

[Constantstar]

Citizens advice! Free and will help xx

 

[Miss]

Thank you so much Girls...it's nice to have other peoples views.

Heidi - The was completely the same for me....it takes a lot to shut me up and I am normally quick with come backs but I had nothing and could not say a word I was so taken back. Thank you for your support hunny xx

Amy - Thank you for the info and support hun. I have been trying to write my pregnancy confirmation letter to hand in which was why I asked him when he wanted all my dates for - I will know not to be considerate in future and ask these things lol Also fx your baby arrives soon....you must be really fed up by now xx

Constantstar - I had already given the CAB a call hun - getting hold of them via phone here is a nightmare and at the moment I just cannot get the time off work to go there and wait to see someone. Looks like if it continues I am going to have to make time tho....xx

I got myself into abit of state last night with all this and had very little sleep which has caused a few problems for me today to say that least

 

[Cantstop]

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index...k_because_of_pregnancy_or_maternity_leave.htm - some pregnancy at work related advice, may be worth a look at

If you can't get in touch with CAB, does your Council not have an advice department? Ours does, and it works with other advice providers in the area, and they are really good at getting you to the right advice you need so if CAB don't answer try going through the Council and they could get CAB or someone similar to get in touch with you.

 

[snag]

Hey. I just wanted to say that your employer is being a complete idiot! I am a legal secretary and have worked for employment solicitors - there are very strict legal rules surrounding pregnant women and what your employer is doing is totally wrong. He also sounds like a typical man who has no idea how hard it can be to go through pregnancy and how awful it can make you feel. And by the way, you are more than entitled to take holiday time before you go on maternity leave!

I really hope you are able to get professional advice on this so that you can shut him up!

 

[Miss]

Thank you Cantstop and Snag for the advice and info.

I had abit of a "to do" with my boss last week and everything came out in the open.

Apparently I am taking things completely the wrong way....but I have told him in no uncertain terms how I feel and how all this is effecting me regardless.

Not sure if I would have to balls to take this any further....but I would like to think if it got that bad I would!

 

[K&A]

yep citizens advice are free and will do everything to help you. You have rights but so do companies but from what uve said you've been a great employee. You've informed him of everything and asked him what he wants you to do. The only thing he may control which citizens advice might not be able to help with is ur holiday. Its companies discretion unfortunately.

good luck x