HELP ME!!!

[bekki_16]

omg i need 2 have a rant
me and my babys father aint together and 4 the last 6 months didnt want nuthing to do with either of us but now his and his new gf are trying to get bk in contact
his new girlfriend keeps ringnin me and texting me sayin they are going to get custody and all this but i dont want them to have anything to do with aaliyah there no good 4 her
sum1 help me wa can i do and have they got any rites 2 my daughter
bekki xxxx

 

[lauramumof2]

Im not sure what rights they have but try to stay calm. It might do you good in the long run if you give them say an hour a week under your terms. But you have to be comfortable with this.

You probably will need a family laywer, Im not sure how these things work. Try to stay calm though, you are the mummy and no one is taking her away from you.

 

[bekki_16]

i dont have a problem with her dad seeing her its just his new girlfriend she is trying to play mommy 2 her
ive tryed talking to my ex and letting him have contact but he said he wont have nothing to do with aaliyah if his girlfriend cant vt i really dont want her 2

 

[violet-glow]

your ex sounds like a pathetic little boy. He wont see his baby if his girlfriend cant, how imature is that. If he really wanted to see his child then he will be greatful of any contact with her. I would go see a family lawer as suggested. This isnt on at all, you need to get this sorted, she isnt a toy for him to pick up and drop when he feels like it. Is he on the birth cetif?

 

[bekki_16]

its doing my head in he is being so pathetic its his daughter not hers why as she got 2 have anything to do with it
yeh is name is on it becuase when i registered her i never new he was cheating and when i found out he said he would still be there 4 her then he just went and didnt have contact until now

 

[Strangeness]

How long has he been with his new girlfriend? If it hasn't been long you have every right not to let him and her see your little girl together, it can be unsettling for a child if they see her and then split up and he doesn't want to bother with her again. To be honest I wouldn't want another woman trying to play mummy to my child even if the father and girlfriend had been together for 10 years! I think he sounds very childish because like violet said if he really wanted to see her he would do it even if it meant his gf not being allowed too. I would stand your ground hun, if you're not comfortable with it then don't let it happen, you're her mum! Also they won't get custody of her unless they can prove you're a bad mother which I am certain you're not so I wouldn't worry hun. Just enjoy you're beautiful girl!

Also if the gf keeps phoning you just tell her you do not wish to speak with her anymore and if she keeps on threaten her with the police for harrassment, as you said it's nothing to do with her!

 

[bekki_16]

he has been with her since aaliyah was born wich is 7 months but they was 2gether behind my back whilst i was pregnant so its abit longer i think but either way as u said they aint gettin custody of my baby
thanks 4 the help every1 calmed me down and stoped me worrying finaly
bekki xxxxx

 

[Tam]

Unfortunately, your Ex has the same rights as a full time Dad (which as you said you dont mind) but the fact that he has a girlfriend, there is not much you can do about this. Your daughter's upbringing if your ex wants to be involved, is between you and him, nothing to do with his girlfriend at all, your DD already has a Mum, you & your ex are her parents!!!!!

Don't think for one minute the fact that they are a couple and with him being the Father that they have the upper hand either, it doesn't work like that................

Obviously the fact that he would be a stranger to your DD would mean that you could seek advice and get supervised visitations, then take it from there, but it is very unlikely he could turn up tomorrow to take her for the day. But on a good note, there is no way he would get custody of her as she has been with you and only you for the past 6 months and at this age it is very important for a baby to be with it's mother, a court always favours the Mother except in extreme cases! You would have to be proved unfit, as already said!

But if he states he will not see DD without his GF being involved, he doesn't sound very dedicated.......so personally I would go see a family lawyer (you get an hour free for consultations with many, so look around for them) write down every question you have before hand and get it answered.......if you need further help and they will take on your case, then you can apply for legal aid (if you are entitled) and possibly with one whiff of a legal situation going on, he may lose interest?! If not, at the very least you will have to agree terms and they would be put down on paper and if he doesn't stick to them, you have a stronger case for any future problems and you can stop the visitations as he is not sticking to the agreed visitation terms, so you would be well within your rights to do so.

Please don't think I am advising he has nothing to do with her full stop, but you did say that they are both no good for her........you know these people, so I am just giving advice on possible options for you!

HTH

Good Luck hun xx

 

[bekki_16]

thanks hun
im going to go and see 1 of the family lawyer people for some more help as he is just making it harder for everyone.hopefully can get this sorted soon and stop messing everyone of us around
xxxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i think if aaliyahs dad wants his GF to be part of her life then u have to live with it totally sucks hun let us know wot the solicitor says

 

[bekki_16]

i really am trying 2 come 2 terms with letting them have her but i no what his GF is like she takes drugs and everything and i dont want aaliyah in a place like that

 

[BubbleOne]

Unless he takes you to court (doubt he will) Sounds more like he is just trying to worry you to me. Then you decide who your little girl sees.

If you have offered to him that he can see your daughter but you don't want his new GF to then he needs to respect that.

If he says that he doesn't want to see her unless his GF can aswell then thats his tough luck isn't it?

He would never get custody. He would need to prove you are a bad mum which I doubt he can as you sound like a great mum to me.

Maybe if he agreed to see her at your house for a bit on regular days at regular times you will eventually feel able to let his GF see her too.

Do you think it is his GF who really wants him to see her as he hasn't bothered until now?

 

[bekki_16]

ive already told him that he can come round and see her all he wants and then maybe after a while his GF can start comeing aswell
yeh i think its his GF thats wants her cause as i said he never bothered with aaliyah until recently
its not that i have got a problem with his GF its just i no her history and she is a hard drug user and i dont want aaliyah bort up that way and she doesnt need another woman pretending 2 play happy familys acting lyk mommy
xxxx

 

[BubbleOne]

I totally agree with you Bekki.

You have given him a reasonable option and now the ball is in his court.

He needs to respect the fact that his GF has nothing to do with Aaliyah.

 

[bekki_16]

i no yeh but he doesnt listen so im going to go 1 of them family lawyer people that people have advised me about
hopefully it will get sorted then
xxx

 

[BubbleOne]

Good idea

 

[bekki_16]

benn phoneing around all day and ive got an appointment 2mora with a woman and she going to tell me whats the best thing to do
not long and all this will hopefully b sorted so we can get on with our lives agen
xxxxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

hope everything gets sorted hun

 

[Tam]

Remember to write down all your questions and concerns, this will save you a lot of time and you can get the advice you need rather than ummming and arghhhing trying to think of things!

Good luck babe, let us know how it goes! xx

 

[Cat&Noah]

Just another quick question, is he paying any child support?

Cause you can point out to him that if he is choosing to have a part of your daughters life, that you will be sorting out a legal arrangement and you will be expecting child maintenance, if he is really not seriously interested that may well make him back off.

Also, does his girlfrind have any police record or anything for drug use? If so you could probably get it ruled so she is not able to look after the daughter if she is not approved by you.