HELP!! I'm SO tired

[Valley Girl]

I suspect that when I get replies to this thread I will realise that you are all going through/have been through the same thing. If not then I wonder if anyone has any suggestions?

The trouble is both my older boys, now 5 and 7, were brilliant sleepers. So unless it is my rose coloured spectacles I don't have much experience of restless babies. I have a new partner now, so it is wholly possible that Toby (my baby) is going to be different to the others, and he is much heavier!

Toby sleeps from about 9 til about 1 or 2, on a good night. After that it is anyones guess how many times he wakes. Could be three more times, could be every half hour. I breast feed him, and he goes off, I try and burp him but I'm afraid of waking him too much incase he won't go off again. Each time he wakes he asks for a feed, or at least I put him to the breast, as he only takes a little bit each time. I rock him in his moses basket if he wakes when I put him back in. He fusses SO much. He gets really gripey and then it is just awful until about 6.30, when I get up and he goes to sleep in his car seat readfy for school run!

We've been giving three ounces of formula at about 9 to try to get him to sleep longer, and that is when he sleeps until about 1 or 2, so it seems to work. The health visitor indicated yesterday that she thought I was giving him a bedtime feed at about 7. Surely not! Should I be expecting him to settle down then? He's only 4 weeks old!

His nappies are less frequently dirty since he's been having 1 formula feed a day. He has lots of 'skiddies' in his nappies but only two or three dirty ones a day, it used to be very often pooey. I give him aptamil, but am getting some cow and gate today, on recommendations from this site.

I tried him with infacol, but that seemed to bind him up too. I can't decide whether he's gripey due to wind, or constipation. He's farting LOADS but to be honest I have a sore throat at the moment which fails to turn into anything, and I have really bad wind too I know he has the virus to some degree, because he sounds snotty at the back of his nose, was slightly feverish on friday, and has been showing 'cold' symptoms like a slightly croaky cry last week etc. Phoned doctors and nurse gave advice, but said he should be allowed to get over it himself, which he has done, but you never know how long these things take to go away completely.

There are so many possibilites as to why he's so unsettled, but I can't help thinking if I knew what was wrong I could solve the problem. I can't go on without slee much longer, not with other children to look after.

Any tips on getting a breastfed hungry baby to sleep at night, or possible explanations would be greatly appreciated! If it's just a baby thing then so be it. I must just bee too old now to cope! 32 is a bit different to 25 I guess!

Just wondered if anything had worked for any of you

Vicki xxx

 

[amzhunny]

hey hun,

I didnt BF so i can't really offer any advice for the issues you have apart from i found it really hard for the first few months i think for me it was the adjustment to the new addition and Amber had colic.

She wouldnt settle till 11/12 at night then up for feeds during the night it did get very tiring....i tried allsorts infacol, gripe water and these dentinox drops not all at once obviously. I found it passed when she was about 2 months old. I never really had a feeding routine, i always used to clock watch but i always waited for her to show me when she was hungary - maybe a 7 ish feed would help also?

Even now Amber wants a bottle sometimes 2 hours apart but she is sticking to her four bottles a day and sleeps through 12 hours!

Persevere hun i am sure everything will fall into place when bubs is ready? xx

 

[leckershell]

Hey Sounds like my life Valley Girl!

We have always stuck to Ryan's bedtime being somewhere between 6 and 7 at night depending on when he starts to get grumpy. I breastfeed all day and breastfeed at 6 or 7 too but give additional bottle. He's on 200ml bottle, but obviously at 4 weeks old was on less, I think he was on 125ml? I don't know what that is in ounces cos I use the cartons I don't make formula up.

Ryan has recently been waking at 9, 12, 4, and then 6 or 7 ready to start the day so I've been exhausted and contemplated giving a bottle at 9 too but I don't really want to do this unless I've exhausted other options. Toby may be waking because he feels ill, which would explain why when you try to feed him he only has a little and then drops off - he's not hungry but he wants to suckle for comfort. Have you tried a dummy? I always said I wouldn't, but compared to him chewing me for comfort all the time, it's a godsend

I don't know how old you have to be for calpol, but you could ask your HV's if he's allowed it. When Ryan got the virus the other week we were juggling between calpol and teething gel as he's teething too.

If he's not allowed calpol, I don't know what else to suggest I'm afraid. We had a bad night last night where Ryan just would not settle so I gave him extra formula and he went 9 til 7. But that's rare. Ryan usually goes 7pm til 12 or 1, then goes thru til 7. I think that's just a breastfeeding thing I'm afraid because there are mums on here who have been breastfeeding longer than me and still not had a full night's sleep

It's not ideal, and if you want to keep breastfeeding I wouldn't suggest to do it very often, but is there a way you could feed him and then before you go to bed express as much as you can, and then let your bloke give him your expressed milk/formula for the night or until 6am or whatever... just to give you one full nights break? Or do what everyone always says on here, sleep when your baby does. My sleep pattern is so weird cos I sleep when Ryan does if I'm really tired.. and the extra hour kip in the afternoon really does make a difference.

Otherwise is there a way you can co-sleep after thevery early morning feed? Sometimes if Ryan is having a bad night I'll have him in with me after his midnight feed, so that even if he does wake up I can at least just feed him or whatever without having to get up to the cot, sort him out, put him back in the cot etc.

Can't think of any other suggestions I'm afraid but hopefully some of the other breastfeeding mums may be helpful, or ask your HV. There is hungry baby milk, but I've always felt a bit weird about trying it.

Hope you sort things out and manage to get some sleep, believe me, I know exactly how you feel!!! xxx

 

[lisa&alex]

babys go through cluster feeding.. he might feed for 15 mins every hour.. every 2 hrs etc..in reality.. by the book.. babys should feed for 20odd mins every 3 hrs.. however.. Edward has hardly ever feeds like that.. he usually feeds for about 45 mins.. every 2 1/2-3 hrs.. i tend to try not to win d him.. we co-sleep so pretty much fall asleep part way through a feed..i have found one bad night.. when he was 10 days old (apparently a growth spurt day) that he cluster fed loads through the night he just wouldnt settle properly.. he fed for 3 hrs..solid.. then fed 2 hrs later.. etc.. its bloody hard work.. perhaps you should stop the infacol etc... isnt it true that most breastfead babys dont get as colicy as bottlefed? so peraps he is just hungry? i know that forumla is different to breast milk.. so perhaps its effecting babys bowels in that way? have you tried expressing instead of giving formula..??

just wanted to say.. have faith in yourself and your milk.. dont doubt that you arnt feeding him well enough..persever with breastfeeding and perhaps try and express to top him up? instead of giving formula as giving formula effects your supply..

personally with the cold thing.. i would take him to the doctors just to be sure that he hasnt got a virus..hope he starts to settle for you..xx

 

[suzy100]

my advice is to wind him.
i know you are afraid to wake him but if you dont wind him, hes gonna wake after about 30 mins anyway so its better to get it all over and done with in one go.

 

[Valley Girl]

isnt it true that most breastfead babys dont get as colicy as bottlefed? so peraps he is just hungry? i know that forumla is different to breast milk.. so perhaps its effecting babys bowels in that way? have you tried expressing instead of giving formula..??

just wanted to say.. have faith in yourself and your milk.. dont doubt that you arnt feeding him well enough..persever with breastfeeding and perhaps try and express to top him up? instead of giving formula as giving formula effects your supply..

personally with the cold thing.. i would take him to the doctors just to be sure that he hasnt got a virus..hope he starts to settle for you..xx

Thank you for your replies everyone. SO much appreciated.

Lisa. First of all congratulations on your home birth. I didn't get the chance to have Toby at home, although we kept it in mind all the way through the pregnancy. My labour needed to be kick started! I give him formula because in theory it is not as easily digested and will sit in his tummy for longer. I have an abundance of milk, but once his tummy is full he just sicks up the rest. I know it is true that breast fed babies are supposed to take in less air, and although this was true of my older two, Toby gulps in loads! I have a really quick let down, and he struggles with that. If I notice him fussing I take him off, let the milk flow into a muslin while I wind him quickly, and then put him back on. The HV said that he has a very slight tongue tie, which may be a reason. I've asked doc to check it but they thinks it is fine as it is so slight. I do feel a bit of a failure, needing to give formula. I know I shouldn't, and I know my milk is good stuff because it settles him during the day and he is growing at a huge rate, putting on a pound in one week on week 2! But in so many ways I think it could be a good thing, and I think I will keep it up. I think it is good for breast fed babies to take a bottle and formula if they can sometimes. It makes life easier for them in the future so if anyone else needs to look after them it doesn't upset them too much. It might also stand us in good stead if we fancy a night out together as a couple some time in the future. In an ideal world I would feed him myself and he'd sleep til 7am, but it just aint happening!

I took Toby to the doctor this morning. Apparently his rash is down to the hormones from me during labour (vaginal delivery) and breast milk. Should be gone by 6-8 weeks. Doc took his temperature but didn't examine him otherwise. He prescribed me some aquious cream, which I think was a patient pleaser to be honest! And I got the distinct impression that he felt I was just being an overcautious mum. Ah well, maybe it's the lack of sleep!

I've also bought some cow and gate and some cow and gate for hungrier babies. Leckershell I know what you mean about the hungrier formula, not sure whether I'll try it or not.

 

[NIE]

I am so tired too babes.

Adam just won't sleep unless he is in my arms. We finally seem to have his feeding sorted. We have put him onto hungry baby milk which seems to be working, although his poo's are a little firmer so I spend most of the day getting him to take water. (should sort it's self out when he reaches 6 weeks according to the HV)

I found that I have to wind Adam and change him but was told not to change him unless he had poo'd. Adam is such a fuss pot that he would moan if I didn't change him.

I hope you get some well deserved sleep soon babes.

 

[lisa&alex]

thanks hun.. i agree with the bottle bit.. ED's had the bottle 4 times since he has been born.. and can ajust to both breat and bottle easily.. i have these

http://www.mothercare.com/gp/product/B0 ... 1&mcb=core

and they do exactly what they say they do for Ed..he uses his tongue to press on the bottle as well as to suck.. in the same way has he does on the breast.. not sure if babys already taking a normal bottle would do the same?? i know that midnas seed wont take a bottle already and shes only 6 weekish old..so perhaps its better tio introduce a bottle quite early on and use it now and again..

not sure if you would be able to do this or not.. but as im big breasted i can.. i have a little tupawear container.. one that is about the size of a roundtrees jelly pot..and i put that under the breast that im not feeding for.. and let the milk drip into it.. then i put that milk in to a sterilised bottle.. and keep topping the bottle up every feed i usually get about 2-3 oz everfy day.. then i freeze the collected milk for him..and yes.. even hind milk drips out of the unused breast which would usually just get soaked into a flannel..you can also mix your milk with formular as long as its going to be used right away..

its great that you know your boobies are good.. its so reasuring when they start putting on weight.. Ed lost 11oz in 3 days from his birth.. and i know exactly how you feel when you think you are failing..if you need to use formula then dont worry..you have to do whats right for the both of you.. and if that is getting hubby to feed him at 3am while you carry on sleeping then thats no big deal..

hope it all works out xx

 

[leckershell]

not sure if you would be able to do this or not.. but as im big breasted i can.. i have a little tupawear container.. one that is about the size of a roundtrees jelly pot..and i put that under the breast that im not feeding for.. and let the milk drip into it.. then i put that milk in to a sterilised bottle.. and keep topping the bottle up every feed i usually get about 2-3 oz everfy day.. then i freeze the collected milk for him..and yes.. even hind milk drips out of the unused breast which would usually just get soaked into a flannel..you can also mix your milk with formular as long as its going to be used right away..

These are fab... breast shells...

can get them from Mothercare/Boots etc but yeah Tupperware does the same job

ooh btw I have a spare set of those shells that have never been used - they were bought for me but I already had a set. if they're of any use to anyone just drop me a PM and I'll send them over to you!

 

[farls]

hi, i didnt breast feed for long as i had no milk so grace went onto cow and gate quite quickly. she has normal formula during the day and has a hungy baby bottle at bed time (8pm) we have been doing this since she was quite young. she now sleeps 8pm - 5am bottle then back down til about 8am. Also with formula they will not have as many dirty nappies but as long as she goes once a day i wouldnt worry. hope this helps