Help and Advice needed!!

[Lindsay]

Jacob won't go to sleep on his own, he has to fall asleep on me for me to then transport him to his moses basket, sometimes he even wakes up when I put him down and he screams until I pick him back up. Generally after a feed he falls asleep in my arms which is when I try to put him down, if he wakes up, he will scream to be held again and will then try to get food out of my arm, neck whatever is nearest even if he has had a good feed - the hv has said that he may be using me as a comfort or can smell the milk on me which is why he is trying to feed all the time, but even if Dh is holding him he is trying to get food out of him too more often than not I give in and put him back onto my boobie, which makes them sore I have been told not to use a dummy cos it could cause nipple confusion and I would hate for him not to want my boobie anymore, but thought that a dummy may settle him at night times and help for him to go off to sleep on his own, I have been told that Nuby do a dummy that is in the shape of a nipple and have considered buying him one? Has anyone got any other advice to help me get him to go to sleep on his own?

Xxx

 

[michelle82]

all i can say is give him time and they grow out of it matthew was the same at that age i used to sit for hours on the sofa watching telly while he slept on me i got to the point where enough was enough and refused to give in and would be able to rock him in his bouncer to sleep then he eventually moved onto going to his cot for naps without to much arguing! He's in there now actually. I am sure you can use a dummy Rosieroo or Beanie are fountains of knowlegde on BF so they might be able to help you could always PM one of them!

 

[Lindsay]

have done, thanks hun!!!

Xxx

 

[Dee1985]

i used dummy as harley loves to suckle too but not sure cause you are BF?? try putting some of your milk on to a muslin and putting it next to him in his basket, hen he will fel like your there? or your nighty from the night before? i let this happen with Dior and was hard work as she wasnt used to sleeping alone and used to me breathing ect, but from day on i dont let Harley sleep on me.

i watched on a baby show that it can frighten a baby if they fall asleep in one place and wake in another it really upsets them, ild try a dummy with a muslin with your milk put his moses basket on the floor net to you bed and lay next to him so he an see you and hear you

 

[Em78]

never heard the no dummy if breast feeding thing before. i have used a dummy for times like this with alex and he has never had a problem feeding.

think he may be a bit young yet for controlled crying if thats something you'd consider. think alex was about 11/12 weeks when we started it but will try earlier with the next one, maybe about 8 weeks. i know its not for everyone but we found it worked with our lo. very much a personal choice though and not an easy thing to do.

alex was very much the same at that age. but i was a meanie and wouldnt feed him (only fed kind of on demand for the first few days then into a routine) so he just wanted the cuddles rather than feeding. we just used to keep trying and he did get a bit better. it wasnt really till we did the controlled crying that he really settled down into going to sleep by himself.

i'd give the dummy a try and see how he goes.

xxxx

 

[beanie]

hi Lindsey, thought I'd reply via the forum rather then PM.

The issue about the dummy being confusing is not something I have heard before. A dummy is not recommended really for very young babies as in the first 6 weeks your body is getting into the supply and demand routine so by giving your baby a dummy this may interfere with your milk supply as the baby is sucking on that and not your breast. However if your nipples are getting sore and this is affecting your feeding then a dummy could be used, but should only be used for short periods of time in certain circumstances, i.e.if you have absolutely had enough and need a break. You need to look after yourself as well, and if a dummy can give you a bit of time then use it. I have fed Seren to sleep since she was a newborn (which is frowned upon) and in the early days she would be very fretful and take ages to put to bed but as she has gotten older that constant feeding at night has gone and she will go on the boob, have what she wants then come off and fall asleep.

Have you started doing a bedtme routine, i.e. bath, pyjamas, boob and bed? You will find that over a couple of weeks he will start to umnwind when the routine starts, and he will know it is bedtime. This will also give you a break if someone else can bath him for you, so you can get comfy and settled before having to feed him again.

It is still early days, but Jacob is coming to the stage where it will start to get easier. He could be going through a growth spurt which will soon pass. I personally would not advise controlled crying for a breastfed baby. As you are demand feeding it is hard to tell whether they have had enough milk, and night feeding is very important for a baby. It is when your prolactin is highest so is good for getting your supply up, and babies need to feed regular as they have such small tummies. PM me if i havn't answered your question, am a bit sleepy at the mo so not all there lol

 

[Juzza]

I'd give the dummy a go hun.

I was told very severely by mw's not to use a dummy when bf and that was one of the reasons i gave up beacuse Jacob wanted to be on me all the time - and i'm talking 7 hrs at one point. I was so sore and all anyone said to me was thats what demand feeding is!

If it helps you to soothe your Jacob and helps you to continue breastfeeding i'd give him a soother bit i'm not a bf expert!

Juz xxx

 

[Dee1985]

have you tryed swaddling too? i found it great, makes them feel safe and snug like when being cuddeled by mum

but i have never let Harl fall asleep on me, as soon as he starts nodding of i put him in his basket.

 

[Lindsay]

Thanks for your replies everyone - this forum is great really helps to know that there is the support out there

I had a much better night with Jacob last night, he slept from 9.30 till 3 stayed awake till 5am and wanted to be fed for all that time but my boobies were needing relief so I didn't mind, he then went back to sleep till 7.30!!

I am going into town today so think I will pick up a dummy just for when (or if!) I get really desperate!!

Jacob hates to be swaddled, it really upsets him, he fights like hell to get his arms out. After he has fallen asleep we put the cover over him in his basket tightly so he feels secure, he lays with his arms up above his head so they are free which is what he likes.

I think the problem is, I have been reading the 'contented little baby book' by Gina Ford and from what she says I am doing it all wrong but as long as my LO is happy then I will carry on doing what I have been doing!

Thanks again everyone, all your advice is much appreciated.

Xxx

 

[Lindsay]

Forgot to answer about routine ..... yeah we bath him, get him ready for bed and feed him the same every night so he can tell that it is bedtime!!!

Xxx

 

[Juzza]

We used the Gina Ford book but just be aware that it is much easier to follow with a bottle fed baby despite what she advises. Jacob is still only little Lindsay so its going to take him a couple of wks to get his own pattern sorted.

xxx

 

[Juzza]

Forgot to sya our Jacob hated swaddling too - well especially if his arms were enclosed - he's a real arm freak just like your Jacob wonder if it's the namesake? We used to swaddle him underneath his armpits do you might wanna try that

xxx

 

[Lindsay]

Thanks Juzza, hmm wonder if the name Jacob has anything to do with it? will see hown he goes in a few weeks, thanks

Xxx