help!!!! how do i get him back in own room???

[LISAMJS]

Help please!!! Ds is 20 weeks and for the past week has had a bad cough. Every nigght for the past week he has gone to bed in his cot he then wakes every hour (sometimes more). I end up going backwards and forwards to put his dummy in which comes out after he has coughed. After a while I give up as I am so tired and he comes into bed with me so I can put the dummy in.(he is normally fine with the dummy so I am not going to give up the dummy). Anyway after a feed he falls asleep in bed with me this way I can put the dummy in if needs be. I am worried he is getting too used to our bed. he needs to go back in his own room in his cot. How do I get this to happen?? I also thought he may ba having a growth spurt as I have fed him approx every 2-3 hours the last few nights when previously he would do 6 hours roughly. He also seems a bit clingy. Last night when he was in bed with me he kept moving over to be close to me which was sweet but he needs to go in his own room. He is swaddled and wont sleep with out being swaddled too. Help!!!
Do u think I should move his cot into our room?? Sorry for the rambling.xx

 

[mum's the word]

Best advice is to put the dummies in the bin (not what you want to hear-I know!), put him in his own room at the same time every night after a bath and feed and leave him to settle. The comfort of the dummy will be replaced by him by something he can do on his own so he won't need you back and forth. It wont be as hard as you think, he'll prob get attatched to a blanket or toy instead. Dummies are great for the first few months but can become a real tie when they need you to keep giving it back, plus they are linked to increased ear infections etc.

 

[LISAMJS]

thanx for the reply. prob is he wont give uip the swaddle so a comforter like a blanket is no good. I tried giving up the dummy once and it was a nightmare. Any other ideas? x

 

[CoreysMummy]

I too agree, ditch the dummy!! When I did this I replaced it with one of those conforter blanket things, he sucks on that instead I guess. That is kept ONLY in the bed.

Apart from a routine and some CC I cant sugest alot, poor little mite, not nice when they feel unwell!

 

[mum's the word]

Giving up the dummy will only be a 'nightmare' on a very temporary basis, my son was a 'nightmare' without a dummy for the first couple of days when I left him to self settle, most babies do scream the place down initially. If you are happy to keep popping in to give him the dummy, then by all means let him keep it, but if you can cope with a few unsettled nights while he learns new ways of settling then I don't think you'll regret it. Most sleep training advice involves cutting out the dummy unfortunately, and if you do it at this age he really wont miss it after a few days, whereas leaving it til he's older will get harder and harder.
If you decide to focus on sorting out the settling. just keep looking to the future, otherwise you cave in, tell yourself 'he's not crying for me. or his dummy, he's crying because he needs to get to sleep and is trying to learn how without help'.
I had my first son in bed with me for 4 years and 6 months of rubbish nights with my 2nd so I have been there with all styles of getting kids to sleep-I have found controlled crying by far the best, maybe not all babies 'need' it, but if sleeping through means happier baby and mummy-I'm all for it.

 

[Tiggy26]

Giving up the dummy will only be a 'nightmare' on a very temporary basis, my son was a 'nightmare' without a dummy for the first couple of days when I left him to self settle, most babies do scream the place down initially. If you are happy to keep popping in to give him the dummy, then by all means let him keep it, but if you can cope with a few unsettled nights while he learns new ways of settling then I don't think you'll regret it. Most sleep training advice involves cutting out the dummy unfortunately, and if you do it at this age he really wont miss it after a few days, whereas leaving it til he's older will get harder and harder.
If you decide to focus on sorting out the settling. just keep looking to the future, otherwise you cave in, tell yourself 'he's not crying for me. or his dummy, he's crying because he needs to get to sleep and is trying to learn how without help'.
I had my first son in bed with me for 4 years and 6 months of rubbish nights with my 2nd so I have been there with all styles of getting kids to sleep-I have found controlled crying by far the best, maybe not all babies 'need' it, but if sleeping through means happier baby and mummy-I'm all for it.

Sorry to gatecrash this thread but just wanted to say that after reading what (mums the word) has just said im definatly giving this ago, best advice ive heard in ages!!! Thanks

xx

 

[mum's the word]

[
Sorry to gatecrash this thread but just wanted to say that after reading what (mums the word) has just said im definatly giving this ago, best advice ive heard in ages!!! Thanks

xx

if you would like more detailed advice Tiggy, let me know. I was DEAD against Cc as I thought you just left your baby cry night after night and imagined it causing all sorts of insecurities (maybe it does but if you had a happy baby who sleeps well you wouldn't be trying it).
My mum used to go on and on about putting him down awake in his own room but it took 6 months for me to finally crack, after neither of us sleeping well at all.
You do need to be ready for it though as it is stressful listening to them cry, I suppose it wasn't so bad for me as I knew even if I picked him up he wouldn't stop.
Having a good night's sleep has improved both of our lives, i look forward to hearing him wake at 7 happily singing to himself instead of waking every few hours screaming.

 

[LISAMJS]

okay I will try it. Can you tell me how long it took you for your lo to settle down and get used to having no dummy. Also what did you do when lo would cry in town (that is when I always use a dummy - as he will go to sleep then)
Greatful for any advice x

 

[mum's the word]

Firstly, make sure you really want to do it and your o/h and family support you, my friend tried it but argued with her o/h then gave up which seems a real shame upsetting a baby for nothing.
Work out oa routine which fits in with your life style, decide what time you'd like baby to go to bed at night and in the afternoon, between the ages of 6 months and 12 months Ricky needed 2 daytime naps and 12 hours at night.
Don't make any major daytime or nighttime plans for a week, as you will need to stick to times initially or it doesn't work.
At least 1 daytime nap should be in the cot for the first few days in order for him to get used to settling, if you can fit it in I'd put him down for both naps in the cot-he'll settle much more quickly for you then, you can be flexible once it's all established, although Ricky doesn't sleep properly in his buggy and never has (suits me as I'd rather he slept when I'm home so I can get on with stuff, I like him to be awake when we're in town or whatever.)
As a rough guide he will need a 1-2 hour nap every 3 hours, so if you're up at 7 then back to bed by 10.
Not sure what to suggest with regard to the swaddling, when he's learning to settle he may want to reach out to touch things in his cot, my l/o likes to feel his knitted blanket and a teddy which I never take out of the cot.
Put him down after a feed, fully awake, say one thing and leave-the fun begins (Ricky took 3 nights to sleep through with out crying, but night one and 2 were hard work, 50 minutes of crying, some of it hysterical, some of it just sobbling quietly, by night 5 he was going down 7-7 with no tears at all).
I did check on him every 15-20 mins then increased it, but I will say you are not going in to show them you're there or fuss, you are just peeping to make sure they haven't been sick or anything, and this benefits you more than them!

If you think he needs a top-up feed then do it without fully waking him or putting a bright light on and put him straight back down.
Keep bathtimes to the same time evry night and maybe sit quietly after it in a dim room with some lullaby's on or something so he knows what's coming.
Let me know if you have any more questions-I'm off to do tea!