Having a down day today

[hayes]

As the title says im having a really down day today cant ever imagine seeing the words pg on a test or holding my LO in my arms. I know it sounds stupid but i have always been positive up to this month that it would happen and every month ive been excited that this could be my month. But now i feel kind of numb like its never going to happen for me.

My best friend is due in june and the young girl at work is going for her 16 wk midwife appoinment nxt week and as her supervisor im doing my best to be supportive but its breaking my heart inside.

How do you lovely ladies manage to keep so together?? I dont want to turn into one of those people that on one tells they are pg or even mentions anything to do with pg for fear of me having a breakdown lol.

Sorry for the rant.

Michelle. x

 

[daniph1]

Michelle, firstly you are loved by us all and we will all support you through this. Secondly, your time will come. We cant go through all of this pain for nothing now can we! Im on my 3rd BFP in 6 months. I can conceive, just having difficulty keeping them. I have cried my way through the darkest times and without you lot, I sometimes dont know whether I would have been able to see any way up. Who knows, this may be my time, it may not but I know one day t will be, and its the same for you! one day you will see those words and 36 weeks late, you will hold you LO xxxxx

 

[Vickyxx]

How do you lovely ladies manage to keep so together?

Wanna know a secret ..... truth is we dont

Most of the time I am having a continuous battle with myself, half of me is saying it will never happen and the other half is telling me to keep hope!!

When I am having a very bad day once I have had a good cry I usually try and do something to distract my mind, play a game, go shopping, play with my cats ... drink

 

[Kay Kay]

Hi Michelle, it is a daily struggle to hold it together and def the toughest thing I've ever gone through. Every day we are tested with reminders of pregnancy and babies everywhere. I just hope the experience makes me a stronger person and more compassionate to what others might be going through. You're not alone hun and you will get there. Have a nice takeaway and chocolate tonite to cheer yourself up. Big huggies xxx

 

[laurat]

As the other girls have already said it isnt easy and we all go through days when we just feel like it isnt ever going to happen. It is so damn hard and there are reminders and pregnant people absolutely everywhere! It can be so consuming at times!!

My only advice is the same as above, try to treat yourself or spend time with you and your OH and realise what you do have. Do something that you enjoy doing and is completely baby free! Big Hug honey!

 

[itisbabytime]

Sorry your feeling this way. The only comfort we can give is to say its normal and its prob does you good to have a good cry or rant every so often. Try and enjoy the weekend. A nice long walk if the weather holds up might be a good idea.

 

[hayes]

Thanks girls, my hubby has gone away for the night and im all alone which doesnt help as i then sit and think a lot!!

Feel like im letting him and eveyone else who knows im ttc down every month. I know its silly to think like that and i have to just stop being silly and get a grip.

I have a lot planned this weekend and have long weekend away with friends next weekend so have alot going on to try to take my mind off babies but its so hard when ive never wanted something so much.

Thanks again girls, its so nice to have you all to talk to who completely understand me.

Michelle.x

 

[Poppy1987]

Big hugs x

 

[itisbabytime]

I get very frustrated at my body. My hubby has as far as we know from his SA's nothing wrong with him. I sometimes panic wen I am at my lowest that he might run off with someone else. Highly unlikely I know but my brain gets carrieds away sometimes!!

 

[hayes]

I feel like that too, i have other health problems and im convinced that hubbys SA will come back fine and that its going to me. He is my rock and i know how much he loves me but i still cant help thinking what if he was to leave me over it!!! Stupid i know.

Michelle. x

 

[itisbabytime]

Did u make a decision/have any thoughts about private treatment??

 

[Drummers_wife]

Hayes xxx
We all have these days xxx
Usually when my OH is away too it gets lonely very quickly when it's jus u and ur thoughts xx
Tomorrow hubby is away so I'll be distracting myself xx

I know It's me with the issue and I feel bad all the time cos think why can't I do what every other woman can (especially my sis and bf in 1 month )
May is my 2 yr wedding anniversary and the 2 yrs of ttc xx fx the clomid will work but if not it's going to be a bittersweet anniversary xx

Always here if u wana pm luvie xx

 

[hayes]

Thanks drummers wife i think because its coming up to our first wedding anniversary thats whats hit me hard as i know that ive now been ttc for a whole yr, but i know i need to get a grip as there are many lovely ladies on here who have been tring for a lot longer than me and i shouldnt be moaning to you guys sorry.

Im sure i will hopefully start to feel better soon.

Itisbabytime i was happy to just carry on tring after speaking to the doc the other day but now im not so sure i just wana get me n hubby checked out and then i know il feel happier but to be honest i just dont know what to do.

Michelle. x

 

[JJ Mum]

Hugs to you Michelle, your not letting anyone down XX glad you have a busy weekend planned - enjoy it, and am wishing you well with the clomid this month, it can only help to have another string to your bow this cycle X

 

[hayes]

Thanks jj, but im not on clomid i think thats drummers wife. Im feeling a bit better today and guna try and plan a hol for our anniversary nexy month hopefully that will keep my mind busy.

Michelle. x

 

[Drummers_wife]

Enjoy urself today xx make plans that will always make u feel better xx

When's ur anniversary? (sorry on fone can't see tickers) xx

 

[hayes]

I dont have any ticker things. We got married last may 21st. Im defo good at making plans im looking for holidays at the mo lol!!

Michelle. x

 

[blondy13]

Glad you're feeling better today Michelle. Holidays are a good way to cheer you up, hope you find some good deals xxx

 

[Drummers_wife]

Were may 29th xx
A nice holiday will be good xx were going away with the family for whitsen but Were planning on a holiday in Oct on our own if we still have no bfp x that would be 6mnths on clomid by then x

 

[hayes]

Yea im looking at lots of deals but we cant decide where to go.

Where is hot in may???

May weddings are the best arent they drummers wife lol, n lets hope by oct we are both in tri 1.

Michelle. x