Having a bad night

[scottishterrier]

I have been speaking to my boyfriend tonight and its all going so wrong.

He says his initial reaction came from shock and now he's thought about it, he wishes i would agree to an abortion, he says by me being against it im leaving him with no choice as he couldnt live with the guilt of not being there.
I told him i couldnt live with the guilt of aborting the baby.
I told him i would rather he wasnt here than to be here out of guilt and that im giving him a choice, yes its unfair that the decission to keep the baby lies solely with me but honestly, youd think this was the other way around, its all woe is me with him and how his life is over..
i told him that im the one going through all this, as well as facing the possibilty of being alone forever with two kids and that he is making it ten times harder for me right now.
It basically ended with me saying i wouldnt contact him again and if i didnt hear from him id know what his choice was..

This is the scariest moment of my life right now, if i don't hear from him im gong it alone, but then a tiny part of me is saying to keep the baby is selfish of me because i cant give it the life it deserves alone. And ill know deep down that if he does get in touch it will purely be through guilt.

I never once expected him to come running and be happy about all of this but i guess i expected a little more understanding.

im sorry for the rambling post, i just have no one to talk to right now and im so very scared.

 

[muppetmummy]

Your situation sounds so much like mine when I was pregnant with James.
You must do what you want in this situation, however selfish it seems. You will find it much easier to get over an unsupportive boyfriend, than an abortion you don't really want.
I think you should plan to do it alone and then if he does come around it will be a bonus, but not essential.
In my case my OH did come to his senses once James was born and realised what he was throwing away, so you never know, he might come around. I got the feeling my OH acted like that because he was convinced I would have an abortion, and when I told him to get lost he wasn't prepared for that and didn't know what to do.
You've definately done the right thing by telling him it's up to him to contact you. You will be a great mum to your baby man or no man, I think sometimes men can be more of a hindrance than a help anyway.
You'll be ok hun, so many women go it alone and do a fantastic job. You will be one of them too

 

[Babylicious]

He may just be in shock, I hope he changes his mind

 

[Happybunny]

Aww honey, I am sorry you are going through this stressful time
I think muppetmummy says it all so beautifully, "You will find it much easier to get over an unsupportive boyfriend, than an abortion you don't really want. "
If he does come back, that is great and I am sure he will adore his child when he meets them. If he doesn't, well, I think you'll make a wonderful mum on your own. You've been doing really well up until now haven't you? As everyone else says, there maybe more challenges as a single mum, but you will rise to the challenge and give your children the best possible care and love.
I am thinking of you sweetie, I hope things settle down for you so that you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

 

[DebbieM]

I do hope it all turns out right for you. All I can say is just DON'T do anything you do not want to do!

 

[Manda&Thomas]

aww hun just do whatever you feel is right.
even if you are a single mum with 2 kids you will be fine i no loads of single mums who yes struggle a little but the kids dont go without all kids really need is love a warm bed and clean clothes and hot food not 2 parents and all the toys in the world
manda xx

 

[Tiffy]

Everyone else has said it very nicely - do what feels right for YOU.

I hope everything works out with you and him, but remember you are a strong young woman. Take care.

 

[floppit]

So sorry this is happening to you. I agree everyone heere has said it really well you have to do what's right for you. Right now putting yourself first makes alot of sense, you're not responsible for him, he's a grown adult and despite what he might say his life is NOT over.

Look after yourself and if this guy walks it means you'll be available when someone else comes along and that in itself moght lead to something really special. If he comes round he'll have learned he can't use emotional blackmail with you and that will give you both a much better chance of a healthy life together.

You're doing the right thing - stand strong!

 

[scottishterrier]

thank you again you guys are great. if i didnt have this place i think i may go mad!

no matter what happens i think the relationship is def over, he texts ever so often with things like "abortion will save my life and the babys" and even said would i at least live dangerously for a few weeks in the hope of MC!
Im staying strong, im prepared for this now and i believe its all happening for a reason.
Most people are telling me im mad but if this is mad then i embrace it!

 

[Happybunny]

I don't know him and may be out of line here, but it does sound as though you are well rid of him

You're going to be a great mum without that wally hanging around

 

[muppetmummy]

Those are horrible things for him to say, he's acting like an immature little boy. I bet he's scared and that's why he's acting so pathetic.
Better find out now that he can't be relied upon than once the baby's born so you can be prepared rather than have to go through a break up with a newborn to deal with as well.
Glad to hear your feeling more positive, you will be fine and one day you will find someone special who you can depend on

 

[DebbieM]

I cannot believe that he would say such things. Honestly, I think you are well rid of him. Sorry