Has anyone weaned early?

[Jen & Her Men]

I'll probably get berated by the "BF til 6 months and food is evil til this point" mums

I guess this is me. Feel like I’m owning up to something bad?

[quote="Jen&James":uzbghv0m]there are SOME mums who do come over all preachy about the weaning debate because they were able to follow the guidelines…What drives me mad about this forum is that some people believe their way is the only way and whether they mean to or not, they make other mums who dont follow their way, feel inferior. Believe you me, its not only me who feels this way. Im just feeling hormonal enough not to care about saying it today where as others dont like to rock to the boat.. .

I really hope this isn’t me. I exclusively breastfed and weaned my DD at 6 months and I AM proud of myself as it was a hard slog at times. However, I completely agree with this statement…

Mothers intuition is a vastly under rated gift.

..and I completly respect Mums who have made an informed decision.

I guess what I don’t understand is Mums who are so keen to wean (why, its such hard work IMO?!?!) and are desperate to do it by 12 weeks and AREN’T making an informed decision (have done no reading or research into pros and cons).

I apologise if I have ever unintentionally made someone feel bad for their choices for their child.

I am proud of myself and the choices I have made but do really respect that I have been lucky to be able to breastfeed, not have a particularly hungry baby, a good sleeper etc - and therefore we have been able to follow a very 'textbook' approach. I'd like to think that a small part of our parenting decisions to date have been down to OH's or I's stubbornness though!



Valentine Xxx[/quote:uzbghv0m]

Hey Valentine

My comments certainly wernt aimed at you. Not all mums who BF and wean at 6 months are preachy. I really dont have any issues at all with mums who choose that path - fantastic if you do. My issue is with how sometimes SOME mums who go down that path tend to think that their way is the only way and that anything else is somehow beneath their methods.

Im glad you feel proud of your achievements with your daughter, and so you should be. Its just that sometimes this forum makes me feel that because I dont BF and have weaned pre 6 months, that I HAVENT achieved anything. Like I should always apologise and have to explain my reasons for weaning James early, for not continuing to BF etc etc. When actually Im bloomin proud of how I have raised him so far - everyone comments what a happy, smiley baby he is and a picture of health. It almost feels controversial on here sometimes to say that when people know that I havent BF and weaned at 12 weeks.

In my own experience, I havent really come across any mummies on here that rush to wean their children, in fact just the opposite. I guess thats why this thread exists and keeps coming up again and again, because mums like Emma agonise about making the right decision for their child. Its hard enough as it is to have a hungry baby who you just cant satisfy without feeling that you get condemned for your decision to wean early by other mums on here, who with all due respect, do not know what its like to have a starving child who takes 9oz then screams for more every 2 hours. (I think Lisa&Alex made a good point about that earlier). I also dont know anyone who "ignores" medical evidence. I certainly dont. I take it into consideration and follow it where I can. But my baby is not a text book baby so the text book sometimes doesnt apply and as other people have rightly pointed out, the text books to tend to change fairly frequently anyway.

As I say, none of this is aimed at you Valentine, I think your ace and you have been very supportive of me and my problems. Its just something I feel quite strongly about. I never had the intention of making you feel like you had to apologise for your methods, its not the methods I have issue with, its the superiority complexes of SOME of the mums who follow those methods that really bugs me, making us bottle feeding, early weaning mums feel like we have something to apologise for. I have only spoke to you directly because you quoted me and I wanted to say that its not aimed at you.

Anyways. I'll get off me soapbox now.

 

[Emma58]

This hasn't been a recent thing with Sam he has always been a hungry boy, unlike George who wasn't fussed when he was a baby but in those days the guidelines were to wean at 4 months. He would have quite happily waited until 6 months before weaning i'm sure.

I wish i could have breastfed exclusively until 6 months but unfortunately it didn't work for me and Sam.
I admire any Mum that manages to achieve this.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I completely agree with u Mid about the 4 month spurt. Even though James was being weaned by this point I still experienced it. There was a thread the other day about someone wondering if they should wean and the baby was a week off 4 months and i said to them it was probably the spurt and to give it time.

When I think early weaning IS justified is for mummies whos babies have been hungry monsters since birth, and its getting to the point where you just cant get any more milk in them and it could actually be unhealthy for them.

I look a pics of James just before he was 3 months old and he was HUGE!! I didnt realise what a little porker he was bless him!! Thats because he was drinking soooo much milk and just not being satisfied. Now when I look at him he has slimmed down so much and thats because he is on a sensible, healthy diet of solids and is down to 3 bottles a day (he was on 6!)

He is sooo much happier and healthier and I am convinced that this is all down to the fact that he was weaned. I would say it would have been absolutely impossible to wait til 6 months to wean him and he would probably be a proper barrel if I had tried.

This is him at about 3 months

and this is him now 2 months on

see what I mean??!

 

[Gem & Leland]

jen thats such an amazing change !

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Hee hee yeah I know. Hes still a big lad but not a chunker any more. More of a l'il powerhouse muscle man. Also think the walker helps cos he is in that all the time zooming up and down the living room and terrorising our poor doggies. 8)

But the food has definitely made the biggest difference so you can see why Im such an advocate of early weaning IF baby needs it.

 

[Emma58]

Jen that first picture could be Sam he is so big!

Everyone comments on how big he is and say what a 'big lad' he is going to be - which really annoys me

I'm hoping beginning the weaning has the same effect on him.

 

[LilysMummy]

Cant believe the difference Jen

Lily wasnt a huge baby infact she is a petit little thing but I weaned her at 4.5months and Im bloody proud of myself. Yes I know they have a fuss but shed had that and finished it and this was different. Shes never taken 90z bottles but she was just feeding constantly, I dont even know why im trying to justify myself, Im just very proud of the decisions Ive made so far bottle feeding weaning etc and its made for one very happy baby and mummy

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Cant believe the difference Jen

Lily wasnt a huge baby infact she is a petit little thing but I weaned her at 4.5months and Im bloody proud of myself. Yes I know they have a fuss but shed had that and finished it and this was different. Shes never taken 90z bottles but she was just feeding constantly, I dont even know why im trying to justify myself, Im just very proud of the decisions Ive made so far bottle feeding weaning etc and its made for one very happy baby and mummy

Exactamundo.

 

[valentine]

What a difference Jen! And what a heartbreaker!

Thanks for your reply to me (I'm not going to quote it as we've both been gabbling and its so long!). I completely understand what you are saying.

I don't think any of us should feel like we have to justify our choices to each other (only to ourselves and OH surely) but inevitably it happens.

I think we are all doing a fab job

Valentine Xxx

 

[Squiglet]

Well when I first became a mother... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY back when... we were told that 4 months is when you have to wean babies.... I think the HV's would have laughed at us if we had said what about waiting till 6 months.. That was the rules back then. Tia only got her milk allergy after she got ill and it was a direct result of being ill not because she had weaned early and that was when she was 8 months old anyway... She also grew out of it by the time she was 5.

Tbh this whole allergy thing... I honestly don't think it has to do with weaning early. It only seems to be western countries such as the US and UK for example... who's incidences of allergies seem to be increasing. I don't think it has to do with weaning early or not... They used to say that eating peanuts in pregnancy causes allergies, but the incidences of peanut allergy in other countries where they do NOT advise this is much lower than in countries where they tell you can eat it.. why is that? I think our obsession with everything having to be meticulously clean and not allowing kids to explore their worlds is whats causing the problem. They say that bf'd babies have less incidences of gastroenteritis... it could be that they pick up lots of germs from the mothers skin when she is feeding them, but not enough to make them sick, and the bm acts as a secondary immune system... so their tiny immune systems get exposed to illnesses in a smaller amount...which is what vaccinations do.... Exposing the children to bacteria and allergens in small amounts gives the immune system time to adjust rather than be bombarded with it...

That leads me to this full on approach to weaning as well thats not helpful... People seem in such a hurry to wean. They start at 12 weeks with a bowl of baby rice and by 16 weeks the baby is on 3 meals a day with desserts, or they are expected to go from bm to 3 meals a day with desserts instantly...thats too much imo. Weaning should be taken slowly... That I am a firm believer in... Start between 4 and 6 months...but don't rush things. Give your LO a meal a day for a month or so of baby rice....then slowly every 4 days introduce a flavour with the baby rice like pear, apple, carrot, potato.. maybe increase the meals to 2 small ones a day... then at 6 months move up to three meals a day. I wouldn't worry about taste variety and your baby getting bored... they don't know any better and you don't miss what you have never had... so giving them baby rice only for a month, well they've been only drinking milk for 4 months... you'd think they would have gotten bored with that too...

Milk is most important for babies... for growing bones, vitamins minerals...the solids just really add calories, chunk it out so to speak. So as long as you keep milk the priority in your baby's diet then thats the most important thing. (Edit: to add especially if you have a girl... they need to have lots of milk right up till teenage years and if not some sort of calcium supplement to prevent osteoporosis.)

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Jen that first picture could be Sam he is so big!

Everyone comments on how big he is and say what a 'big lad' he is going to be - which really annoys me

I'm hoping beginning the weaning has the same effect on him.

Well good luck with it hun, Im sure you will be cool with it especially as you already have a son, but if you want any recipe ideas or anything then PM me.


Squig I completely agree about the time frame thing. Started James at 3 months on rice and he is now, 3 months later, only just on breakfast and lunch, plus 3 bottles.

He was on rice only for at least a month. To be honest I was a bit stuck at knowing when was best to move him on to the next level in terms of giving him more, I dont know how other mums feel, but once you have actually started weaning it can be a bit of a minefield knowing how much to give and when. I probably got it wrong in that I wasnt giving him enough but seem to have got the balance right for now. I will be keeping him as he is for a while before taking away his tea time bottle and replacing with food.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

[
To be honest I was a bit stuck at knowing when was best to move him on to the next level in terms of giving him more, I dont know how other mums feel, but once you have actually started weaning it can be a bit of a minefield knowing how much to give and when.

Another good thing about leaving it till 6 months if possible ..as they can go straight to stage 2 and start BLW in which you dont have to worry about amounts and when .. just when they seem interested (usually at meal times) offer.. they will eat what they want too so dont have to particulary worry about amounts either...on top of that you wont get the transition to lump possible problems. ..ok Im done ranting goodluck ladies

Hmm that kinda ignores everything thats been said though? Cos we are talking again about the textbook ideal that just doesnt apply to all babies. BLW would never work for babies like James as there is no way they would ever be able to feed themselves enough to be sustained. Yes, there are some hurdles you have to overcome in weaning early, but there are hurdles you have to overcome whatever method of feeding and weaning you choose to follow. I really enjoy making my little man his homemade meals and seeing him mmmm in delight as he is eating them, knowing that he is getting good wholesome food that is much better for him than the 6 bottles of day he was on. I think my pics are evidence of that!

I'll get off me soap box too now! Mids ya know i think your 8) . My feathers just get a bit ruffled over this stuff thats all

 

[Jade&Evie]

Emma, a few weeks ago I was convinced Evie would need weaning in a few weeks- however it seems to have been a growth spurt. I'm now aiming to get to 5 months just on milk- even if it means she is taking a bottlle every 2 hours! Sam is a little bit older than Evie and I'm sure he'd be fine with it now. It's not because I think early weaning is wrng though! It's because I want to get it right and I don't want puree up my cream walls yet! As long as you are happy and sam is happy it's the right thing to do.

 

[newmum]

Maybe it is a sign of how privileged we are in our Western society when we can choose the style of weaning as opposed to a huge number of women around the world for whom feeding their baby is purely about survival.

It seems to be impossible to reach a 'right' answer.

millions of babies have been weaned early and have no allergies
millions of babies have been weaned early and do have allergies

millions of babies have been weaned later and do not have allergies...
millions of babies have been weaned later and do have allergies

Although at the moment research suggests early weaning and allergies are linked, there is nothing to say that in a couple of years time this will be turned on its head and people 'discover' that it only has a tentative link. Similar to the MMR Autism link.

It seems to come down to what you believe in/prefer/have to do and at least we have this choice.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Maybe it is a sign of how privileged we are in our Western society when we can choose the style of weaning as opposed to a huge number of women around the world for whom feeding their baby is purely about survival.

It seems to be impossible to reach a 'right' answer.

millions of babies have been weaned early and have no allergies
millions of babies have been weaned early and do have allergies

millions of babies have been weaned later and do not have allergies...
millions of babies have been weaned later and do have allergies

Although at the moment research suggests early weaning and allergies are linked, there is nothing to say that in a couple of years time this will be turned on its head and people 'discover' that it only has a tentative link. Similar to the MMR Autism link.

It seems to come down to what you believe in/prefer/have to do and at least we have this choice.

Good point well made.

 

[Valley Girl]

Well - I've just stumbled upon this thread and it looks like I missed a corker!!

I know EXACTLY what you mean about feeling a little disapproval from some people who are lucky enough that the guidelines happen to be 'do'able for their baby. No one wants to make people feel worried about things they've said in the past and after all forums are all about opinions. We all have our views and have all had different experiences which form them.

But it is totally a fair point to say that sometimes you can feel a little shouted down by strong opinions and when the guidelines back those opinions up it is bound to happen.

The thing is that I am on baby 3 now. The first I breast fed til 6 months, the second a year, and toby for 3 1/2 months. Each one I weaned at four months. When I phoned my health visitor at six months to check what his milk intake should be she congratulated me on having a six month old baby who was pretty much eating everything and even managing finger foods. Toby now at 7 months eats pasta meals which aren't even cut up and eats sandwiches for lunch! She actually said that even though the guidelines are to wean at six months, the guidelines contradict themselves in a way, because by six months what a baby needs more than milk is the nutrients and goodness in food. Everyone knows you don't start weaning and instantly have a full diet, so it doesn't really make sense.

I felt very guilty about stopping breastfeeding Toby a few months ago, because I had given my other sons so much longer. But the pont is that this time for me it was different. I was totally determined to breastfeed and never presumed there would be any problems. But Toby was such a strong hungry boy, and for some reason my milk did not satisfy him. We had good periods when all was wel, but it was very hard going. Whether it was because I had more to do with three kids, because I was a couple of years older (ripe old age of 32 don't write me off yet!!) or what, I really don't know. When I introduced formula he slept better, was more content, I felt less down, I had more energy and so the list goes on.

Every set of circumstances for every child you have is different. Just because you are able to follow the guidelines this time doesn't necessarily mean you will be able to next time!

I am in no doubt that you have done exactly the right thing and you've been brave enough to step back and look at your situation and make an educated decision based on those things.

You deserve applause for that

 

[Valley Girl]

PS.. My teacher friend who is permanently on courses while she is not working because she has toddlers, told me that the government had admitted that the allergy theory with early weaning, and avoidance in pregnancy of nuts etc, was an experiment. The theory being that if people stopped early weaning and avoided foods in pregnancy etc and allergy cases went down then it could prove to be a factor. Not sure where she learned this though so I'm not claiming anything at all, just repeating whan I was told by her.

 

[skairdykat]

Wasn't the not eating nuts in pregnancy theory changed a while back to eat nuts in pregnancy to avoid allergies to them
The powers that be change their minds more often than their underwear and you can bet the majority of them don't even have kids
I weaned mine both mine at 12wks and neither of them have allergies - go figure.

Good luck for whatever you decide ladies.