Has anyone done sleep training?

[Mel32]

This is a controversial subject so please no arguments

I've not done it and 14 months in he breastfeeds like a newborn in the night meaning OH can't help me and he often ends up n our bed. Baby number two is on the way and will most certainly need night feeds. Also have the issue that i may struggle to rock 20+ lbs of baby when im further along.

Ive never had a full night sleep since he was born and he often wakes every 2 hours or more.

Ive cut out daytime feeds and getting a health visitor on thursday, i think she will suggest sleep training. Tbh im more interested in stopping feeding first as its very painfull (i think because of pregnancy)

I know controlled crying is one option... But he is so reliant on feeding to sleep sometimes that he would go hysterical and i dont think it would be controlled.

My only experience of him crying to sleep has been in the car, i used to stop all the time to comfort him but realised he was immediately back at square one screaming when back in his seat and couldn't get places so had to let him cry. It breaks my heart every time i have to do this

 

[MrsS15]

Hi Mel,

I feel for you. Lack of sleep is awful! My son is nearly 9 and because of his behavioural problems we've pretty much had to do sleep training most of his life. I know a lot of people don't agree with it but for me, I cannot survive on no sleep so I have to do it. Being pregnant and up all night feeding must be a nightmare. Your poor nipples too!

I don't have a lot of suggestions for the stopping feeding but at 14 months if he's eating during the day then you know he doesn't need the milk during the night and it's only for comfort. I think all you could do is offer him water during the night and refuse the breast. If your husband can help you then even better, then he'll know a breastfeed isn't even an option. When my son got up a lot when he was younger we done a really gentle sleep training that was more self soothing. We'd lie him down on his side and soothe him, reassure him we were there and it was sleepy time then leave the room for a minute. Then back in for 2 minutes and do the same, then leave for 2 minutes. Increase by a minute each time. He never got by 7 minutes the first night and was self settling and sleeping for 7/8hrs straight by night 4. We found it better as we were. Ever letting him cry long before we were in reassuring him!

I definitely think when the offer of a feed is there during the night they then wake up out of habit looking for it so hopefully by managing to cut out feeding the issue will solve itself. You could even just feed him once before bed then not at all during the night to wean him off slowly.

Maybe some of the others will have better suggestions! Good luck xx

 

[Mel32]

Thanks for replying!!

He's a delight such a happy baby when he's not tired or doing what he likes but very very hot tempered in between and always immediately stands in his cot so im frightened he would cry himself sick even if i rubbed his back or offered comfort.

I definitely think cutting feeds is the first step, it might work miracles. But when ive tried refusing before at night i chose to hold and rock him and he literally goes insane, i almost cant physically hold him. So ive had to put him in the cot before now and it continues so ive often given in (so bad to give him mixed signals ) hence still doing night feeds. Think I've had less will power since being pregnant, so early but i feel even more tired, i think thats standard for early pregnancy but i kinda forgot. Im sleeping quite a lot recently because hes in our bed but its so achy from sleeping around him and hes all over the place crawling and fidgeting, hanging off the bed etc. Sometimes he feeds on all fours or hanging off the bed or laying over my face or going in circles he's a little acrobat.

Might just decide what im doing and just chose not to sleep for a few nights 😂 easier than waking every 2 minutes.

Occasional mild nausea during the night when i wake for him too is winding me up.

I talk too much

 

[El1en]

Hey, sorry to hear you're having a tough time

I've done CC with my daughter. I think you're going to have a be brave and go through a few nights of hell if you want to stop the feeds but it's really hard to sleep train while you're still feeding. I tried with my little girl at 9 months and it didn't really work. I stopped feeding at 12months and while I was reluctant to try again my oh was very firm with me that I wasn't being a bad parent doing CC and that I needed sleep to. At this point she took at CC brilliantly and after 3 nights she was only waking once a night which was way better than the 5 times a night previously.

I should add my little girl never cried for long. It was tough. I remember getting to 7 minutes once and sobbing my heart out but thankfully that happened one time and she never cried for longer

Speak to your hv. If you want to do it you need to really be in the right mind set and persevere. It might take up to two weeks of the most awful nights ever but you might end up like me and have it sussed in 3.

 

[SoGentleNWild]

With the night drama - you smell like food, so he expects you to feed him. DS had the same battle.

It took a holiday weekend with DH home for 4 days. DH was the one who got up at night. I did nothing for DS. First night, I think we were all upset. By the end, DS was at least getting 8 hours straight so I was happy with that.

 

[Rose83]

Still struggling too Mel. Hoping to have my daughter's room finished in a week and then putting my son in his own room from me and then I'm definitely trying sleep training. 27 and a half weeks and when he has a bad night it's killing me! I think it's not helping that my boobs must be starting to smell like food again (after 6 months of not feeding him) so he is more aware if I leave the room etc x

 

[Mel32]

Thanks form your replies!

Its so mad that they smell milk i dont get it! Haha. Hope it goes well for you rose.

Since feeding is hurting me because of my pregnancy and i dont want to give mixed mesages the Health visitor thinks its worth considering going cold turkey with feeding (not retaining the bedtime feed).

She dropped off loads of info and talked to me a lot about it, i still just can't bear the thought of him crying so much im frightened i wouldnt stick to it which im sure would do more harm than good. I need to know im 100% commited before i start.

I have been trying to keep him out of our bed though which is so much more work, constantly up to get him back to sleep and instead of laying down while he snoozes or plays in our room in the early hours ive been getting up at 5 ish with him. The sleep i get in between tho is so comfy having covers and not being kicked and climbed or stood on. But my fitbit counted under 4 hours sleep the other night and other terrible nights to. Sometimes i get a lot of hours but all broken up.


Not one nights sleep in 14 months and the prospect of the same to happen with next baby, tired justy thinking about it ��