Guilt for not breastfeeding

[Noor~ul~Usman]

I'm still feeling guilty too hun so you're not the only one

We couldn't establish brestfeeding at the hospital and so when we came home he was on bottles. It was the most gutting thing ever and I cried in hospital when I made the choice because I'd talked myself IN TO breast feeding (the idea used to freak me out and after what happened I'm still fairly scared of it). I've tried expressing twice now as I can't be doing with the trauma of trying to get him back on the breast itself - but I've only managed maybe 5days in a row

I still feel really pressured to do it but also highly embarrassed as my FIL was staying with us and I just wasn't confortable popping off every 3hrs and locking myself away for 30-40mins. It was bad enough that my husband was home 24/7 as well and walked in on me 2-3 times and was highly embarrassed about it because he finds it an unsettling and private thing My supply still needs to be built up as I only get 1oz a day which I was using to suppliment him and having to use formula for actual meals. I was trying herbs/spices to encourage it but they really made me smell funny which didn't help with my confidence

Doctor diagnosed me with PND last week....don't know if this is why I'm struggling with confidence etc or if the breast feeding issue has contributed to me actually getting the PND

I think in my heart I know I'm gona stick to bottles but a few weeks ago I was SOOOO determind to get my supply up. There are a few family members who will be disappointed I've given up (and knowing this upsets me because they're all really nice people) but the vast majority are fine about it.

 

[xmcnickyx]

I know it's difficult not to feel guitly, I'm exactly the same, but just remember that breastfeeding is only one very small part of his life and you aren't doing anything wrong by formula feeding.

I was absolutly gutted that I couldn't feed Molly. I had a section, lost a lot of blood, she had low blood sugar and jaundice and it just wasn't meant to be. Now though, she's doing really well and there are a lot of plus points to formula, she and her daddy get to spend quality time together, I get a bit more sleep and she is growing and doing well.

I think when you've had your heart set on something it can be an awful wrench to let it go. I really didn't want a section and I so so wanted to breastfeed - things didn't go to plan but I still have an awesome little girl who doesn't really care either way so I'm coming to terms with it all.

Try not to think of that one detail, I know it seems like a huge detail right now, but it really is more important that your little boy is healthy and happy and that his mum is also healthy and happy - don't let it drag you down! Just enjoy him.

 

[1588]

Claire

Congrats on the birth of your baby boy and what a fab name too. Please pm the details when you feel up to it.

In the mean time have loads of these

 

[lauramumof2]

I felt no guilt for not breastfeeding my first and very guilty for not breastfeeding the second. I tried with both.
Now, I feel fine. Its taken a while but I look at my kids and feel no guilt.

 

[Leese]

I can only echo what others have said, please don't feel guilty and it will get easier. I still wish I'd been able to do it (James is nearly one now!) but then I think back to what a hard time we both had. I know I did my best and you did too. Hugs.