Guilt complex

[Rosieroo]

Why do I have such a guilt complex about solids? Does anyone else?

I either give Ella solids and feel guilty about doing it before 6 months. Or I constantly feed her and feel down about that.

I also felt really really guilty when I gave her a BOTTLE for the first time!! Even though it had EBM in it. Don't even talk to me about the teeny formula top ups she had when she was tiny.

I think if I was catholic I'd be one of those ones that felt guilty about sex. Good job I'm not!!

 

[Dee1985]

i gave Dior solids at 3 months no need to feel guilty!

 

[Layla]

you dont need to feel guilty at all hun, your doing a fantastic job with Ella.

xxx

 

[Rosieroo]

For the past few days I've had this really horrible sick feeling (not pg )

I told my HV I had given her some and he was fine about it, said that it was the right thing to do. But I still don't feel like it is.

I thought weaning was going to be fun, it was one of the things I was looking forward to prepregnancy. Now I just feel horrible about it all

 

[Urchin]

Awww you just want the best for her hun.
Don't worry, she's obviously fine. Weaning WILL be fun when you decide it's right for her.

 

[michelle82]

dont feel guilty its just that so many hv bang on about 6 months and the problem is not all babies can wait that long. As long as she is happy thats all that matters its not like you are giving her meat and 2 veg or a packet of crisps!!! I'm sure it will do her no harm her main source of food is still coming from you so she'll be fine.

 

[K X]

Like Dionne I gave Rebecca solids at 13 weeks CONTROVERSIAL I know, but she was a hungry buba and not satisfied on milk, now she is MUCH more content. She is now 16 weeks approaching (I thot it was 15!!) and is thriving, loving her solids. Don't feel bad some babies are much more hungrier than others!!!

 

[Lauz_1601]

I do think the HV's make us feel bad about it, they always go on about the not weaning til 6 months that we feel like were doing wrong if we wean any earlier. Its the same with breastfeeding, the midwifes go on about how breast is best (and I do agree) but were not all capable of it for one reason or another and were made to feel bad if we dont succeed. Listen to your heart and let Ella guide you she we tell you what she wants/needs. and honestly dont feel bad about it.

 

[emilia]

Rosieroo ......... you've done a brilliant job so far. You've managed to crack one of the hardest things in order to give your baby the best.

I understand what you're saying... I felt the guilt too. Almost a feeling of betrayal...right? I have been on and off with it, but Oscar is loving food the last day or two. I now just take great satisfaction in preparing him lovely veggies and fruit for putting in the freezer.

Some of us will go through so much trouble (tears & tantrums) to bake a sponge with butter and real cream filling.
Some of us will be easy going and buy one off the shelf..... end result..... both cakes are eaten, only the real sponge might win a few more compliments....

Don't be so hard on yourself.... you're just excellent with Ella!!

Emilia xx

 

[emilia]

ps... The type of person I am though.... I would still loose my cool and get the real sponge baked. My DH will agree.

 

[beanie]

I understand what you're saying... I felt the guilt too. Almost a feeling of betrayal...right? I have been on and off with it, but Oscar is loving food the last day or two. I now just take great satisfaction in preparing him lovely veggies and fruit for putting in the freezer.

Exactly how I feel. I offered some apple to Seren today after a few days with no solids and she ate loads. Kina, don't feel guilty, you are not that far off 6 months xxxx

 

[Rosieroo]

Well I am started to lay my demons to rest over this.

Today Ella was so unsettled and grumpy - constantly on the boob or agitated. She kept pulling on and off and hurting me. In the end I gave her some carrot and sweetcorn (I know am only meant to try one thing but I only had that in the house) Hipp stuff and she ate the whole jar (80g) and cried when it had gone. I'd b fed her right before and I b fed her right after. Then she slept for over 2 hours. It was the most settled she'd been all day. She woke up, had boob and another jar of food. Is in the bath and about to have her bottle of EBM and go to bed.

For all people who are reading this that I may have offended before when I blasted for not waiting to six months - I really apologise.
I feel a bit of a failure for not getting to 6 months but I believe that Ella is ready for solids now. She's 5 months on Friday, has almost tripled her birth weight and is extremely interested in food. To not put her onto solids because I wanted to wait is only going to make me feel depressed in the long run because of her behaviour and feediness.

 

[michelle82]

dont feel bad hun if the HV didnt make such a issue about it then you wouldnt feel half as bad she is obviously just ready now she doesnt care that they say 6 months she wants food!! and besides its not them that have to listen to grumpy unsettled babies you have done well and she is obviously happy and content otherwise so lay the demons to rest start cooking her some delish mush!!!

 

[Rosebay]

Hey don't sweat it hun, there's no failure here just a hungry baby who needs some food! It's not a one size fits all situation- there's no way Mel would have gone to 6 months- my HVs said it and so did my GP. He was chewing everything so much I was sure he was teething but no- one solid meal of some nice steamed veggies and bingo happy happy baby!

Just think of all those exciting tastes in store I gave Mel some cheesy mash this morning and wow did he wolf that up!

Enjoy!

+++
p.s. I have a complex with solids in that I'm perhaps OTT about getting it all balanced and varied and homemade etc because I think I still feel sad about not succeeding with the breastfeeding- I want to be responsible for his food at last. What complex little ladies we are eh?

 

[petchy]

kina, i know exactly where you're coming from! ruben is 3 1/2 months now, and i just know that if i can hold on for another month then i will have done really well, but in reality i think he will need some solids in a couple of weeks time. it's not nice how they make you feel guilty...

i have decided to not listen to the HVs and go with my own instincts on this. he's gone from sleeping through some nights, or till 5am most nights to waking constantly. i've upped his top ups from one 4oz bottle at the 11pm feed to 6 or 7 oz at the 6.30pm and the 11pm feeds - both of which he will take and ask for more (and that's AFTER both boobies!) it still made no difference, and even after i switched to the hungry baby milk for the top ups last week he still wakes 3 times in the night looking for food...

 

[emilia]

Glad you're feeling better about the whole thing, Rosieroo.

Emilia xx

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

We all give ourselves such a hard time don't we?

I am going to give sam solids as soon as he asks for it. I'm looking forward to it and I'm not going to worry if it is before six months.

One thing though. Don't feel guilty about giving expressed milk by bottle!

I probably won't take this advice, because I am stressed out most days about everything , but we are all doing a great job really and our babies will all grow big and strong, no matter what we feed them and whatever method.

keep going everyone, you're doing great!

 

[Lauz_1601]

sounds like she was ready for it, glad she enjoyed it and settled for you, it will give you a break from constantly feeding too and in the long run you'll be glad of your desicion. now you can start to enjoy it

 

[Urchin]

Rosie I'm so proud of you... not necessarily for giving her the solids but for reading your baby's signs and doing what you believed was the right thing.
Sometimes HV's try their best but not all babies are the same.

I also felt guilty about not waiting longer for Brody....BUT at the end of the day he needed more and I did what I believed was best for him.
You could have let her carry on not being satisfied but no.....you changed what you believed in because you wanted the best for your baby.

GOOD FOR YOU

 

[michelle82]

i've started matthew on baby rice as he has started waking at night again and he likes it so after a week i gave him banana with a bit of formula in it my god i think he would have eaten the spoon and licked the pot out given half the chance!!!