Getting knowwww youuuu!!!
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liz_milne
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oh girls this reminded me of an email I got YEARS ago............read on and i defy you not to laugh or hold onto your ladybits.
WAX is NOT your friend
CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud... I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! (And I feel it too!)
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal- The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now... The wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
(Y A THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. (Cold wax, "yeah... Right!")
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
It works!
Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.
I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With me next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to t he inside of my butt cheek.
(Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself... RRRRIIIPPP!
I'm blind! Blinded from pain!... OH MY GOD!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!
Another deep breathe and RRIIPP!
Everything is swirly and spotted.
I think I may pass out... Must stay conscious...
Do I hear crashing drums?
Breathe, breathe...
OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy- a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.
I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair? WHERE IS THE WAX?
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.
I touch. I am touching wax.
CRAP!
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, wh ich I s now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake... Remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?
I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
DANG!
I hear the slamming of a cell door.
"hoo-hoo"? Sealed shut!
Butt? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"
What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water! Hot water melts wax!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?
WRONG!
I get in the tub- the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment- I sit.
Now, the only th ing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together a n d then glued to the bottom of the tub.. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few moths ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter- "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YE AH! RIGHT! ! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various sol ut ions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace... The lotion the give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the ens out of my friend.
It's so painful, but I really don't care.
"IT WORKS! It works!"
I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice t o my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly sh ave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.
I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color.... Now that's funny...... Notttt.
WAX is NOT your friend
CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud... I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! (And I feel it too!)
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal- The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now... The wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
(Y A THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. (Cold wax, "yeah... Right!")
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
It works!
Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.
I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With me next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to t he inside of my butt cheek.
(Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself... RRRRIIIPPP!
I'm blind! Blinded from pain!... OH MY GOD!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!
Another deep breathe and RRIIPP!
Everything is swirly and spotted.
I think I may pass out... Must stay conscious...
Do I hear crashing drums?
Breathe, breathe...
OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy- a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.
I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair? WHERE IS THE WAX?
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.
I touch. I am touching wax.
CRAP!
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, wh ich I s now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake... Remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?
I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
DANG!
I hear the slamming of a cell door.
"hoo-hoo"? Sealed shut!
Butt? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"
What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water! Hot water melts wax!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?
WRONG!
I get in the tub- the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment- I sit.
Now, the only th ing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together a n d then glued to the bottom of the tub.. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few moths ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter- "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YE AH! RIGHT! ! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various sol ut ions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace... The lotion the give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the ens out of my friend.
It's so painful, but I really don't care.
"IT WORKS! It works!"
I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice t o my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly sh ave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.
I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color.... Now that's funny...... Notttt.
mishi
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Usually when I get a Brazillian it's most of at the front, but leaves a 'landing strip' and then I have to hold my legs in the air one at a time for her to do 'in between', but with a Hollywood (roll over!
) it was everything off. I was TOTALLY bald ass included!But on a positive note, didn't have to worry about stray spiders legs peeking out of my bikini!
Although my friend, whoI went on holiday with did come out of the pool, having lost her bikini bottoms a bit when she dived in, and her tampon string was hanging out
Simoneh00
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Usually when I get a Brazillian it's most of at the front, but leaves a 'landing strip' and then I have to hold my legs in the air one at a time for her to do 'in between', but with a Hollywood (roll over!
But on a positive note, didn't have to worry about stray spiders legs peeking out of my bikini!
Although my friend, whoI went on holiday with did come out of the pool, having lost her bikini bottoms a bit when she dived in, and her tampon string was hanging out
that's brilliant!Im a body piercer and a lady once came in to have her lady bits pierced WITH A TAMPON STRING HANGING OUT!!!
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liz_milne
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oh my god! how mortifying! Let me put a pic of my elder sister on here and if she EVER finds out i've put this on she WILL KILL ME! This was from her hen night, she was pissed and I took her photo in the toilets of the nightclub. She mooned, I flashed and then when I put them on the pc I noticed she had a panyliner on! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA
Simoneh00
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mishi
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Usually when I get a Brazillian it's most of at the front, but leaves a 'landing strip' and then I have to hold my legs in the air one at a time for her to do 'in between', but with a Hollywood (roll over!
But on a positive note, didn't have to worry about stray spiders legs peeking out of my bikini!
Although my friend, whoI went on holiday with did come out of the pool, having lost her bikini bottoms a bit when she dived in, and her tampon string was hanging out
Im a body piercer and a lady once came in to have her lady bits pierced WITH A TAMPON STRING HANGING OUT!!!
Oh that's a bit grim!! Wouldn't normal people wait until they didn't have AF? I know I did - it was about 15 years ago, but damn I remember that pain! My poor lil clit - and ok it's now home time that's far TMI!!!
Although.............question Simone, if I do get preggers again does it have to come out??
I feel we should probably move this thread to the girlies room!!
mishi
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Simoneh00
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Oh that's a bit grim!! Wouldn't normal people wait until they didn't have AF? I know I did - it was about 15 years ago, but damn I remember that pain! My poor lil clit - and ok it's now home time that's far TMI!!
Although.............question Simone, if I do get preggers again does it have to come out??
I feel we should probably move this thread to the girlies room!!
No not at all. Although Id advise a wee plastic bar/hoop just incase you need to go to theatre for any reason . The surgeon ended up taking mine out
PINK BUTTERFLY
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PINK BUTTERFLY
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Usually, a thread would peak with a photo of black sick on page one but this just kept on giving! I think I'm going to have to get Tapatalk so I can play too. Although I don't have anything nearly so exciting as socks on cocks. We did once make a 'special' video but decided we couldn't watch and immediately deleted it.
