Furious, issues with "friend"

[violet13]

Well, I am 100% pissed off. My so called friend has not been there for me since I got pregnant nor has she bothered to check on me at all but is quiet happy to drop me when it suits her. My mum also has cancer so right now I need some support too. Bit of back story: she asked me to move in with her after I'd been married 6 months and my husband could visit, she thinks she'll be my birthing partner which I said my husband is. She constantly goes on about the most trivial shit and it's making me really angry she thinks she has some right to be godmother to my child which is not her choice and now said as soon as baby is born she'll come
See me....I've told her no that it's family only and said she is family and has now taken a massive huff with me. I am beyond angry. What do I do? Xxx

 

[Lolie14]

Why don't you tell her how you are feeling? Things get resolved better that way rather than you just stewing in it. She might not have any clue and your pregnancy hormones won't be helping either.

 

[KHTW]

I would say don't be a pushover and put your foot down x Tell her what you want and how the things will be - it is your life and your baby and nobody, let alone a 'friend' should be dictating the terms.

She seems a bit too attached. Does she not have a life of her own?? x

 

[Maid of Kent]

Why would she ask you to move in with her when you're married? Strangest thing I've ever heard...she obviously has some sort of obsession with you. I'd let her be in a huff with you, if it's keeping her away then it's doing you a favour. You don't need a needy friend. Without trying to be too rude, she sounds a little strange :/

 

[petchy]

To be blunt, it sounds as if she has some sort of issues. It's not normal behaviour to think it's reasonable to have a married person move in with her and then the spouse can visit. Seriously. Could she have some sort of self-esteem issues that she is trying to overcome by acting like this? Is she using you to get a feeling of being needed/loved? Either way, you need to put yourself and YOUR family first, and be firm with her. If she is draining you of energy (like you make it sound like she is) maybe it's not worth it? I've had to "break up" with friends before, as they have been using me to practically feed off my energy, and it was leaving me SO drained. Hard, but worth it.

 

[littlemonkey]

Let her get in a huff and don't bother with her again!

Seriously, I really wouldn't be worried about the opinions of someone who thought I could bin off my husband and move in with someone else! Why would you want to spend time with someone like that?!

 

[WishingHoping]

Could she have a envious/crush/obsession with you?! Only because I don't understand how anyone could do and want these things unless they wanted you to themselves??

xx

 

[violet13]

It's got beyond the point of me being nice which is horrible to say. She has a boyfriend who still lives at home and as she got
Kicked out moved in with him he's about 6/7 years younger than her she's 25. She just hates my husband he's a good man and is gonna be a fantastic dad but she was bad mouthing him at one point which really got me upset, she hates kids and I honestly do not trust her to hold my newborn child let alone be responsible if anything happened to me. Urghhh how do you cut ties with someone after 8 years? It's v v hard and thank you all for your advice and help xxxx

 

[H16]

She does sound like a bit of a weird nutcase hun I'm sorry. Is this the same friend you wrote another thread about a little while ago? If so I would definitely get rid. I have stopped being friends with people after 12 years before so it is possible to cut ties, if they are having a negative impact on your life get rid, doesn't matter how long you have known them. You need to surround yourself with supportive understanding people hun. Just stop contacting her, she will get the message in time x

 

[violet13]

It is the same friend. I'm just so hurt by her behaviour especially when she found out my next door neighbour was with me when I tested as the hubby was home visiting family she got v snotty about it. "I thought I was your best friend etc" and turns any argument around on me as in its my fault. I don't trust her so if I can't even trust her to be around me now and be there to support me why should I let her flit in and out of my baby's life xxx

 

[WishingHoping]

She sounds very immature for her age I think just distance yourself & don't make the first move regarding talking to her.

I had trouble with my "friends" a few weeks ago & I decided I wasn't going to bother anymore as I was the one who always did & well I've not heard from them since!!

Speaks volumes really!!

I have been friends with them since I was 16.. It's a shame but you out grow people especially when your at different stages of life..

Everything will be just fine my lovely

xx

 

[violet13]

Thank you wishing. It is sad but just like you she hasn't bothered with me which in all honesty when the time comes for baby to be born we are probably going to have an argument as she'll try and get down here before everyone else does which will really pee me off. I want my mum here and my dad, since I left home we have grown so much closer and I think me getting married and having a baby has also got us all v close, I think all ladies want their mums when having a baby and with my mum having treatment soon for cancer I needed my friends thankfully I've got a lot who are and have been there for me. Even you guys on the forum, we've not met yet we're all having a baby maybe our first to our third but still the support I've had from all of you has been amazing and even after baby is here I'll still keep in touch xxx

 

[MrsS143]

Some people we keep around because they've just always been there
But not all habits are good
And sometimes we just have to cut away all the negativity in our life just to make life easier and happier
Nit easy or necessarily what we always want... but sounds like it's what you need x