Funny things parents used to say

[Yvonne]

I always remember funny comments my mum used to make.....

ME "what's for tea?"
MUM "Don't know haven't christened it yet!"

ME "Where you going?"
MUM "there and back to see how far it is!"

ME "MUM!!!!"
MUM "I've changed my name!"

I can't wait to be sayin stuff like that to my kids!!

 

[budge]

the one i remember and i still can't work it out even though i find myself saying it tomy kids

'Stop crying or ill give you something to cry for'

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

mine was if we were in the car id ask how much longer my dad always used to say 10 more mins
and if i asked where we ewre going that day i got the reply mygate lol

 

[kellie80]

I changed my name its not mum anymore! I always say that to Jess Now. Lol

 

[Yvonne]

the one i remember and i still can't work it out even though i find myself saying it tomy kids

'Stop crying or ill give you something to cry for'

Yep that was another classic from my mum!!

 

[Alicebabe]

I used to get 'your old enough to know better' coz I had a younger sister. And also she would say if we didnt stop pestering her, she would run away with a black man! Not sure what thats about but used to hear it at least once a week!

 

[Rosieroo]

Whenever I used to admit to something that would annoy her I'd get "you better not have". Of course I didn't mother, just saying it for a laugh and a hammering for fun!

 

[nicki]

When I was a kid and said 'Its not fair' my Dad would always reply 'Nor's a black mans ar*e' It took me years to figure out exactly what he meant!

 

[Dee1985]

i could go on all night..

"as long as you live under my roof you live under my rules"

Me: "muuum in bored"
mum: "go play with spiders" (still dont get it? i hate spides)

me: "whats for dinner?"
mum: "Shit and sugar"

"when yor 16"
then
"when you 18"
then
"when your 21"

me: "why not?"
mum: "because i said so"

me: "where are you?"
mum: " up jacks arse hanging on a nail"

 

[hels]

Just you wait til your dad gets home.....

 

[Dee1985]

And also she would say if we didnt stop pestering her, she would run away with a black man! Not sure what thats about but used to hear it at least once a week!

haha i used to say to my dad "wheres mum?" he would say "ran of with a black man"

 

[Yvonne]

When I was a kid and said 'Its not fair' my Dad would always reply 'Nor's a black mans ar*e' It took me years to figure out exactly what he meant!

fantastic!!!

Shit with sugar on!! oh god all mum's must run by a "mum's comment bible"

 

[Yvonne]

mine was "she's run off with a black man with red hair!!"

We live on totally seperate parts of the UK, how do all mum's and dads know the same jokes??

 

[Kim]

My mum's were "I wont tell you again" GREAT!!

And:

Me: "Where is it?"
Mum: "Up my arse on the top top shelf"

LOL mum's are the best!!

 

[michelle82]

me 'muuum i'm bored'
mum 'go an play amongest the traffic then!'

me 'i'm telling my daddy when he gets home'
mum 'tell your daddy and i'll tell him what you've done'

oh and the classic 'if you dont behave you wont get anything for xmas/birthday (any day i can bribe you with!)'

 

[Dee1985]

me: "im phoning social services"
mum "get the me the phone il phone them for you"

 

[tracyM]

ME: What time is it?
DAD: Half past a monkeys arse according to his balls

ME: I want a drink
DAD: There's corporation pop in' tap - i think i was about 25 before i figured that one

My mum ran off with a black man too - wonder if it's the same black man

'You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on' - she still tells me that everytime I go round
'Your head'll cave in' or 'you'll pull your brains out'
'don't look at me in that tone of voice' -???
'I've got eyes in the back of my head' - no you haven't
'Walls have ears' - no they don't
If I fell over, - 'is the floor okay?', if I hurt my head - 'it's okay, there's nothing to damage anyway'

I turned into my mother about 5 years ago

 

[Rachael]

Lol - It makes you think Moms went to the same sort of school! lol
Dionne my Mom used to say "S"*t on a stick" on the tea question - Could be a Midlands thing - I'm from the West Midlands originally.

It always makes me smile when I think of the stupid things parents say - Like "Do you want a smack?" - Erm no thanks Mom, your ok! and "If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!" - I don't think you can do much running with a broken leg can you?

I always knew if my mom said "Maybe" oe "We'll see" it meant NO!

 

[michelle82]

mum whats for tea ? bread and ifit?!

the wind will change and you'll stay like that!

i know i am going to turn into my mum!!!!

 

[Yvonne]

Why do parents ask questions?
"do you want a smack?" What sort of a question was that!! and if i said "no thanks" i'd get one anyway for being cheeky!!

I must admit i used to hate her saying "Wait til your dad gets home!" Don't know why cos i can wrap him round my finger!