Fuming!!!!!

[leannesxb]

Been to my mums today and she basically told me she thinks AJs problems aren't medical but are because me and Jason have spoilt him by holding him for long periods of time in scbu. She thinks its all temper tantrums and that the reason he won't be put down or sleep properly is because I pick him up and don't leave him to cry. I am sitting here with a screaming baby in the other room who won't stop and my joints are in such pain from holding him all the time! I am exhausted and all I want to do is cry and cry and walk out the door.

 

[My1stBaby]

ohhh leanne thats horrible!! i know you prob have but have you tried researching anything online?? like how to settle them etc?? i worry all the time about holding my LO too often but its so hard not to when they're crying, all you wanna do is cuddle them to make them better so dont feel bad about that at all!!! thats not fair of your mum to say it to you like that

i wish i could offer some kind of help xxxxx

 

[VikkiR]

Didn't want to read and run. Personally I don't think you can spoil a baby at such a young age and the more secure a baby feels the more likely they are not to cry at every single thing so I disagree with your mum. Go with your gut hun and chin up xx

 

[nikki8092]

Oh hun thats an awful thing to say. What a load of rubbish too!! Babies need comfort whether thats cuddles or whatever. I have spent loads of time cuddling all 3 of my babies and apart from Jake who had colic they settled fine on a night. Carry on doing what you are doing as you are doing a fab job!!

 

[Princess81]

It's amazing how they become total child behaviour experts isn't it? Do what u know is best for your baby. Major tip: get a sling, saved my sanity and joints x

 

[leannesxb]

left him to cry for a bit and he has just sicked up his entire bottle! Thank you mum!!! Now I have had to bath him and we are both in tears not to mention more washing to add to the barrell and a pram to scrub. Now the OH has just moaned at me because I asked him to get a syringe at the chemist on his way home from work so I can start the new medicine and fish and chips for dinner to which I had the reply well what have you been doing that means you couldn't make dinner!!! I have had enough no ones helping me and I am gonna just have a meltdown!!

 

[My1stBaby]

ohh hunny i know its easy to say but just take a minute n breathe, count to ten and try your hardest to keep calm. you really need to speak to your OH and say you need help, cant believe he will think you dont do anything thats just ridiculous. your relatives and friends should be there to help you !!

xxx

 

[nikki8092]

sometimes i think people forget looking after a baby is a full time job, especially poorly ones. Dont let peoples insensitivity get to you hun. OH will soon realise that hopefully. No one expects to be supermum and a stepford wife! xx

 

[Sassysugar]

I'm so sorry hun I'm cross at your oh for saying that! Little babies don't know about being left (on tapatalk so cant see your ticker) its only once they are slightly older that self settling can happen. You definitely cant spoil them with holding them. It was only maybe round the 4/5 month mark that Colby started to self settle but it took a while.

I would carry on looking after LO the way you have been, oh and tell your oh he should try looking after LO for a full day ie without you there, he would soon change his tune when he realises how much you actually do and I don't blame you for not wanting to cook sometimes it's the last thing on my mind!!

 

[Mrs. KM]

Don't listen to your mom and give your oh a kick! I am starting to think that some babies, like mine, are harder to settle and Might not know how to self settle. I would reccommend a wrap (i have a boba wrap). Ttey are good for babies with reflux as it keeps them upright. They also keeo baby with you which is what they want and your hands are free so you can do some stuff. Some people recommend to let babies cry so they will learn to self settle. I tried this for a total of 2 minutes the other day and my poor baby was inconsolable . I have decided I will wait until she is a little older to try sleep training/ self settling. Good luck, and do what you think is right. You know your baby best! Xx

 

[hellywelly]

My midwife told me this week that you can't spoil a little baby with cuddles. Your mum should be more sensitive. Chin up my lovely, you are a great mummy doing a fantastic job - don't let them get you down. xxx

 

[Hunnie]

Agree with what's been advised, buy a sling!! Kept me sane in the first few weeks when I was sick of having no free hands

 

[Dustbunny]

Your LO is 4 weeks old? Personally I think that's far too young to be leaving them to cry especially if they have been poorly. It's a huge world for them and they need to know they are safe and secure. You're doing a wonderful job hun, ignore your mum and do what you think is right. I completly understand how you must be feeling, Chloe was an awfully difficult baby for the first 2 months and it is truly exhausting but I promise you it does get easier.

As for your OH, could I please have permission to kick him in the nether regions?

I agree with the other ladies, invest in a sling most babies love them because they can be snug and cuddly with mummy. I have a 'kari me' which I wouldn't be without, takes so much pressure off your back and shoulders too.

 

[Hunnie]

Yep at 4 weeks old make the most of the cuddles because even now at 12 weeks sophies starting to be more interested in looking round and less interested in cuddles xx

 

[ChrissieCool]

Hugzzzz hun, your LO is too young to be left to just cry, just do what you think is best, don't listen to others, you are his mum and you know best, maybe have a chat with your OH and tell him how upset you are and that you need some help, hopefully he will help when he see's how upset you are, Jake is 6 months tomorrow and I still can't put him down for long or he cries his heart out so pffft to them all and just cuddle him all you want and maybe take some painkillers for the pain? Xxx

 

[Verity2011]

Like all the women have said babies can't be spoilt with cuddles and they don't throw temper tantrums, when they cry it's because they need something even if that's just you to comfort them. You clearly know what's right, trust your instincts, ignore your mum and kick your oh. I have a moby wrap and it's wonderful when little one is asleep during the day xxxxx

 

[leannesxb]

thanks ladies can't even bring myself to speak to the OH about the way he is being. Sent mum a stinking text telling her that AJ had been sick and why! That made her feel a bit guilty. As I type the OH is asleep in the chair. He hasn't done a night feed in 2 weeks. I have been up every night with AJ since he was born. I am completely shattered and I think thats whats making me less able to cope with it all. I'm not depressed or anything just in pain with the arthritis, totally shattered with the lack of sleep and when I went to the docs the other day he said I had pulled internal stitches and it has caused a hematoma which is pushing on my c-section scar because I have done to much and not rested. I haven't had any help and the OH has only cooked one meal on the night we were discharged from hospital. I have cooked and cleaned and done washing etc etc every day since we come home. I'm just exhausted and feeling sorry for myself. Sorry for the rant ladies. x


ps just ordered a sling. x

 

[Rachaellius]

Oh my god hunnie your OH needs a massive boot up the arse, your supposed to be resting after a c section. You need time to recover! You really need to have a chat with him hun he's not being fair at all. Agree with the girls too babies dont have tantrums at 4 weeks old. Hope your OH pulls his finger out soon xx

 

[Elfs Mummy]

I hope your sling gets here soon one of my favourite memories is cooking dinner with M snoring in her sling cleaning and cooking can wait you have a lo to look after if your oh wants dinner he has two hands he can cook. Ny friends oh got up every morning before he went to work made her a sandwich and snacks for the day. I know how tough it is to have a baby with reflux it does get easier xxx

Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using Tapatalk

 

[BabyBrain]

Bloomin mothers!!!! We are off to visit mine later and I'm sure she'll have an opinion on everything like she normally does whereas as my sister is the best mother in the world. Wish we lived nearer chick cos we could leave the boys with their dads and go out and get horribly drunk xxxxxxxxx