Forget him?

[Toxic_Angel]

I've had such a bad stressing few weeks recently, trying my best to stay positive and ignore the bad things or put them aside so i can concentrate on me and baby but its really hard.
I'm 17, 18 in Dec. An atm most of you will know whats going on with my OH an his mother. My family are helping me all the way and sticking by me, But i just feel a wreck at the moment. Although i am stopping myself from getting upset, im not lowering myself to get upset over this because i know its not worth getting upset over. Past 3 weekends OH has gone off with his mates and i now am seeing he aint mature enough to look after himself even. I think i would be better off single. I think ive been such a mug? It's so hard when you love someone.

 

[Kimbo]

i think only you can make this decision and nothing anyone else says will really make a difference.
i was the same with shane, and decided i would break it off with him because he wasn't worth it.

im going to be a single mum and im so excited about it being just me and my baby.
ive got friends and family, especially my mum, who are so excited for me so i know i won't be alone.

if you do break up with him, let him know he can be as involved or uninvolved as he likes with the baby.

maybe if you break up, he will also change and you'll see him act differently towards you.

thats what happened with me and shane.. as soon as we split up, he's suddenly grown up and is such a better person.. so who knows? in the future it might work out for us.

maybe you could explain that to your OH, and say you need a break, and then see how you feel?

but its totally upto you, no one can make this decision for you

 

[Minxy]

Poor you

Your hormones will be up the wall at the moment so you may be considering making rash decisions.

What can you do to help resolve the situation between you and OH?

Having a baby is easiest in a functioning relationship, it's tough to go it alone. But if it's time to call it a day, only you know that

Remember we're here for support.

 

[Toxic_Angel]

Yeah i think i'll just wait for him to eventualy call me then ill have a serious talk with him. But atm despite im home alone im sat here bein greedy an eating a big bag of cheesy puffs

 

[Kimbo]

SNAP!!!!!!

mine are weight watchers though lol

 

[Toxic_Angel]

Mine are almost empty lmao think i only have few left

 

[Kimbo]

just opened my second packet

 

[maybebaby]

I haven't voted in the poll, I don't think that this is a decision you should make based on the results of an online poll.

You really need to sit back and think about whether you can see a future with this guy. I.e. if you look forwards 10 years do you still see yourself with him? If the answer is no, then maybe it's time to get out now before you have the baby. Don't stay with him just because you don't want to be alone. Remember when your baby grows up and leaves home it will just be the two of you. If you can't function as a couple it's fairer to all involved (including your child) to finish the relationship now. Give him a choice whether he wants to be involved or not, and let him know you will be contacting the relevant people to claim support if appropriate.

If the answer is yes, you can see a future, then you need to be prepared to work at the relationship. Talk to him and let him know exactly how you feel. If it's easier, write him a letter, so that you know you have said everything you need to say. There is a common misconception that a good relationship is easy - it's a complete lie! Even the most 'perfect' couples have had to work hard at some point to make the relationship work.

Sorry if I have sounded a bit patronising, I really don't mean to, I know I'm only a few years older than you, and my relationship is nowhere near perfect!

I hope you can either work things out, or find the courage to end it once and for all and stick to your decision.

 

[lisa&alex]

im not gonna vote.. but i really dont think this relationship is gonna last the way its going, i dont think your boyfriend is going to change what hes doing unles hes forced to think of what hes doing.. tbh.. if it was me i would finish him just to give him a kick up the ass.. if he doesnt come bk then he wasnt worth it.. if he does then atleast u have shown u have back bone, and that he has chosen to be with you.. and u can decide if you want him back or not.. end of the day hes treating u like shit.. u dont deserve that..

 

[littlepip]

Its a hard decision to make i dont know the full story but with me and the baby's daddy after i had the miscarriage we started to have stupid little arguements i think it was because my hormones were up the wall but anyway we decided its best to have a break then i found out i was pregnant again! and we dont want to rush things so we have a better chance of making things work this time. so were seeing each other every other day and we will give it another go so maybe you need a break and you can just take it easy then see what happens?

 

[Kylie1007]

I think i would be better off single. .

I think maybe you've answered your question.

 

[maria1976]

HI Honey, whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and baby, i think you already know in your heart what you want to do. Remember you have us lot to support you and your family

 

[sophie-jordan]

i havent voted in the poll as i think this is a topic that you and your OH need to come 2 an agreement about yourselves and not let our personal opinions take over.
he does sound a bit immature and not like he is taking the whole pregnancy as well as you are. maybe even try a break and see how he feels after that?
it really is something you have to do yourself and do whats best for you and your baby, only you know how you will feel if you were single.
good luck hun keep us posted
x sophie x

 

[Minime]

Assuming he's around the same age, women are a mystery to lads that age (and lads ANY age!) so perhaps he doesn't understand your needs, sometimes you may feel tired and not wanting to go out etc but he wont understand that and may assume things change once the baby is here and not realise things change during pregnancy too.

Go somewhere, just the two of you for a walk, anywhere and have a talk about the future and how he sees your relationship now and once the bubs arrives. Dont make a decision until you've talked things over thoroughly.

 

[youngmumtobe20]

maybe you should have a serious chat with him, sit him down, let him know how you're feeling and that his behaviour, if he doesnt at least try to change could lead to you splitting up. It may be that he's scared, having a baby involves a lot of growing up and maybe going out with his mates all the time is his way of trying to hold on to not being so responsible?? when the baby comes along he could change completely and be the perfect, responsible dad. but if it seems like he just cant be bothered to make an effort then maybe its time to let him go, if he comes back (after changing!) then you'lll know he's the one for you. you're probably really emotional right now, god knows my heads a mess lol, so try not to make a rash decision in the heat of the moment.

hope you work things out hun