Finding out my baby has Down Syndrome.

[bethany9519]

Am i a bad mum to be upset about this? Annoyed? Hurt?

I have so many emotions right now and i have no idea how to process them at all, i dont know what to think or do.
Has anyone else in here had a baby with down syndrome or currently going through the same thing? Can we talk privately?

I have been given the option of termination and half of me feels like its the right thing to do, that my baby wont have a normal life and that i need to do what is best for him in the long run.

But, i am 26 weeks pregnant and i will still have to deliver my beautiful little boy and i cant even bare the thought of it.

I really need someone to talk to, some advice, some help, im losing my mind

 

[Blueclass]

Hi iv not gone through this but I work in a special needs school and work with adults. Just because someone has a disability doesn't mean they wont live a independent life. You will still get so much joy and happiness from a child. I love the kids at school there adorable and yes they can be challenging but so can mainstream kids. Some of the adults I work with live on their own and go to work.

Your not a bad mum to feel hurt or annoyed. When we discover we are pregnant we have a image in our mind. I would say discussing termination is not allowed on here and some mums or people trying to conceive will get upset over this. However I do see your dilemma. You must be going through a awful time. Are you in a relationship, what do family think? Can the hospital not put you in touch with a group or something?x

 

[Papermoon]

Hi sorry that's happened to you. I haven't experienced this but I know It must be hard, but times are different than they used to be for special needs kids. You're not a bad mom for having those feelings, just don't do anything that you will regret. It may haunt you once it's done. Just hang in there. I think there's a chance the tests may be wrong too, so don't do anything you will regret doing especially if the tests turned out to be wrong.

 

[becky85]

I know this probably won't help but I listen to the scummy mummy's podcast and a few months ago they spoke to Sally Phillips (the sweary one out of bridget jones diary) and she was talking about her son (she has 3 boys) who has Downs Syndrome. Whilst I do not have a child with Downs I found it a very heartening listen – emotional but also very positive. She had a false negative result so didn’t realise he had Downs until he was born and she spoke about how glad she was that she didn’t know because of the position that that puts you in. If you decide to progress with your pregnancy then it might be worth a listen? It’s such a horrible and difficult decision to have to make but whatever your decision, I’m sure you will be doing it for the right reasons. I hope you find some people you can speak to who can help you make an informed decision that’s right for you. Take care xx

 

[Blueclass]

Yes this on the TV actually a while ago and it was amazing and such a lovely programme. Do watch it, it has people on there who have terminated so it's not one sided x

 

[Boaz]

My four year old nephew has downs. I won't pretend that it has not been hard at times for my sister, but none of us would be without the loving little boy he is growing into. Give yourself a little more time. Research both sides if you can. Remember there are a lot of worse conditions than downs that we don't test for but are at risk of. Ultimately only you can decide if this is the worst that can happen to your child or not.

Sending you hugs.

Boaz

 

[miamia]

I can't help much, but good luck whaever you will decide x

 

[Sparklegirl]

My cousin has a little girl with downs and she is the life and soul of everything. I had her as one of my flower girls when I got married and anywhere the camera was you would find her. She loves to be centre of attention and she is so beautiful, funny and affectionate. She has a normal life, goes to a mainstream school and the only difference is the fact she has an extra chromosome. How are you feeling after finding that out?

 

[Kate1985]

Hi Hun, no experience of Downs Syndrome personally but my friend has a little boy who has Diwns Syndrome n I found out my little girl had spina bifida at my 20 week scan last year. Happy to chat x sorry you're going through this. X

 

[Donna88]

I'm sorry I can't help anymore than others have said as I don't have any personal experience myself. However I did not want to read and run and I equally wanted to stress what others have said, you are not a bad mum for having these feelings. Finding this out will have naturally been a big blow and is a lot to process. You need to try and take yourself away from everything and really think about the pro's and con's.

I went to girl guides with a girl who had downs syndrome and she was a lovely girl who we all loved having in our group.


*hugs*

 

[Boaz]

Hi Bethany,

Just wanted to say I have been thinking of you lots and hope you are being able to find the answers you need.

Be gentle with yourself what ever you decide and know that people are here to rant at, talk with whatever you need.

Take care.

Boaz

 

[Dovekie]

I think a termination at this stage would be devastating. I read an article about a lady who terminated due to Downs, and her account of taking the pill and then giving birth was awful

There is a lot to consider, of course. Do you have other kids? How would their lives change if you kept the baby?

Personally, I would choose to carry on with the pregnancy. Yes, it would be difficult and different, but life throws these challenges at you.

I'm sorry you're in this situation. Do what's best for you xx

 

[Blueclass]

Hey just wondering how your getting on? X