Few Tears......

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Its two weeks since I had MC and I saw my nurse again yesterday for my treatment injections and she was asking how I was doing after MC, had the bleeding etc stopped etc etc etc and its just made me a bit down again!

I sometimes think I deal with, then block it out for a little while in order for me to plod on....but these little milestones...one week, two weeks are pretty hard on you arnt they!

Ive created a GTS memorial but dont log in daily or anything as I dont want to create a shrine as for me thats not the way to deal with this but I think after it all happens and every one who knows says their initail 'Im so sorry's'...thats it! They never talk about it again! And I want to talk about it sometimes!

Is that a bad thing?

I listen to certain songs and think about the baby that didnt make it....what it would be like now at 8 weeks pregnant....how I would be feeling etc....and its hard!

Sorry ladies....Im just having a moment..... xxx

 

[kiki]

Hi, I found it really hard that after the I'm sorrys everyone stops talking about it. Almost avoiding the subject, where as I wanted to talk about nothing else for a long time. Big hugs to you!

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Thanks Kiki.... Yeah its like everyone is scared to mention it.... I saw a friend last night for the first time and we always hug when we see each other/leave etc...she said as soon as she saw me last night...Im not going to hug you it will 'start you off'!!! Wasnt happy about that little comment!!!

I know some people thing we will be in hysterics if they mention it and yes maybe we will....but thats surely not a bad thing is it..... After all if we had burried our babies Im sure the reaction would have been so different!

Well I want to talk about it, I want our baby to be remembered no matter that I was only 6 weeks....to me he or she was still going to be our baby.... Like you I really want to talk to friends/family but we havent even told most of them!!

Arrrrggghhhhh....the only offers to talk Ive had (apart from DH and DD) have been from everyone on here.....and while that is great and massively appreciated....why do our friends and family shy away from this situation!!

Thanks kiki.....xxx

 

[sarah1]

Hey Wilma - I feel exactly the same as you. One minute I think right that's it I am done crying and now I can get back to normal. But then the next something reminds me. We haven't told anyone not even our family, in a way I want to tell them but then I know it would only make me feel better and them feel bad. I told one of my friends who lives in USA ( we just chat on the internet) and they had nothing nice to say at all apart from that maybe me and OH shouldn't have a baby because we are obviously not ready?!! and that maybe there is a reason for it happening.. Anyway that put me off telling anyone else so it will be our secret perhaps until we have a baby and feel like we can tell people our experiences. I know it sucks only having a computer to talk to, but if you ever want a real chat I wouldn't mind swapping numbers with you or instant messenger or something if you just want to rant. I am sure your OH just like mine has been great - keep talking to him as I'm sure he feels just the same as you, and remember that you have each other. I think if anything this has brought me and oh even closer together and I can't imagine doing anything without him.
Sorry for the long message! I just want you to know you arent alone xxxxx
ps. we have decided that we are now NTNP and seeing how that goes...... but so tempted to start using those 30 opks i have in the bathroom!!

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Hey Sarah thanks for your message...and I would certainly ignore what your USA 'friend' had to say...thats awful of her!

I know with regards to us telling DH side we pretty much know they would say me having MC is for the best....his bro had a baby at 42 (now 45) DH is 40 but we know they think were too old as our girls are now 16 but he cant really say anything and its our choice.
And his sis whos also 45 makes comments when they have left with little uns like thank god thats not me....so again I know they will think were barking mad wanting another one now and thats the reason we havent told them as we know they wont be supportive! With me having ME also they will be negative about it all and as much as in other ways we are a close family and I want to tell them Im scared of their reaction and how I will react in turn to that!! So like you for now weve told only a few people who we wanted to know or knew we were pregnant!

Thank goodness we have PF ehh it so good to know we can come here anytime and talk!! And thanks for offer of swapping numbers/instant chat too....its def good to talk with others who are going through or ahve been through it all too xxx

 

[MrsR]

My friends didn't speak to me about it at all and a friend of my then partner decided she was going to tell me that her friend had 8 miscarriages and 3 still norms and I should 'get over it'! Needless to say I didn't deal with that comment particularly well (I dumped my glass of red wine over her and stormed out of her house). I had the least likely people talk to me about it like his best friend! x Noone likes to talk about miscarriage, as soon as you mention it there faces close and it feels like they can not wait to get away from you. I know it's not enough but we are here to talk and listen when noone else is willing x

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Ah thats horrendous Helen....Im not surprised your wine was her new outfit! B***h!!!

But yes I have def found a common ground on here where I know that I can come here day or night and someone will answer me, listen to me winge, or give me good advice...thank goodness for PF friends xxxx