Feeling very worried and confused

[Keano_Forever]

Hi everyone

Hope all you girls are keeping well and are growing

I've had a week from hell basically. Saw my midwife on Tuesday - routine appointment - asked how I felt, I told her I can't sleep, no appetite. She asked if I was worrying and I said yes as my whole delivery is so uncertain.

I told her I felt that the baby was not growing as my shape has not changed, the baby's not moving as much and when the baby moves it's very painful around my scar.

She measured me and it came up 29cms, she stretched it out a bit and made it 31!! But she agreed that the baby has not grown since my last appointment 3 weeks ago. She also could feel the baby's head under my ribs. Based on all of this she sent me to the day unit to be monitored and asked for a growth scan. So off I went with my bag packed.

I got there and they put me on the monitor - when the baby moved I was in tears but this was disregarded. Heart rate was all fine thank god. I explained my worries about being breech - again this was disregarded, I explained how I was in pain - again told this was normal!!!

I left there feeling so so disheartened, I was very upset. I then felt like I had wasted their time and everything I had been worrying about was just made up.

Anyway, I came home and decided to ring my midwife and explained how I felt. She was lovely, so supportive too. She also commented that if someone could feel my tummy for literally seconds and decide the baby was not breech then more power to them basically!!

I had been having constant lower backpain and pelvic pain since I got home - probably the stress - but I mentioned it to her and immediately sent me off to the labour ward as she felt I was not examined properly and was very concerned about my scar abrupting.

Well I arrived at the labour ward and the Dr and midwife were absolutley lovely. They brought my consultant appointment forward to this Tuesday instead of waiting to 36 weeks for it. They took a urine sample and there was ++ protein so it was being sent off. They took my blood pressure which was high - not surprising really - and reassured me about baby's movements etc. They told me any worries to come back again.

I'm just worried guys, I am afraid that if I get some midwives/doctors who won't listen to me then I might be in a very difficult position.

Any advice to calm me down ladies?? Sorry for the long post by the way, I feel that all I do is moan on here compared to all you positive ladies so I do apologise

 

[ASD123456]

Hi

Did they scan you at the day assesment unit? Are you wanting to have a VBAC or a C section this time around?

Sorry things aren't going great at the moment. Your midwife (the one who you called) sounds very supportive so maybe that will help but as you say you can't really choose who will be there on the day.



Alex xxx

 

[Keano_Forever]

Hi Alex

No they wouldn't scan me as they said there was no need for one. They were not at all worried about scar abrubtion, my pains or my frame of my mind

I so wanted a home bith - in fact I was 100% sure on one. Now I don't know if I am coming or going honestly. I had my section in 2003 which was an emergency and I had a VBAC in 2003 which was uncomplicated.

I am so glad my midwife is supportive or else I would be cracking up now!!

How are you feeling?? xx

 

[Mildly]

Aww don't worry about the long post, that's what we are here for - to listen

Your midwife does sound great, I would definitely talk through your fears with her - she may be able to suggest a good strategy for if you feel you aren't being listened to. Other than that, you know your body better than them, if you feel something isn't quite right, speak up and keep saying it. If they take no notice say that you are unhappy with the care they are providing and demand a second opinion

 

[ASD123456]

Hi Alex

No they wouldn't scan me as they said there was no need for one. They were not at all worried about scar abrubtion, my pains or my frame of my mind

I so wanted a home bith - in fact I was 100% sure on one. Now I don't know if I am coming or going honestly. I had my section in 2003 which was an emergency and I had a VBAC in 2003 which was uncomplicated.

I am so glad my midwife is supportive or else I would be cracking up now!!

How are you feeling?? xx

Thats ridiculous that they didn't scan you, some members of our NHS are just laughable. Hopefully they will Ok the homebirth if they can sort these issues out, I hope they do.

I'm good, just waiting for something to happen now- I'm not getting any signs though

 

[Keano_Forever]

Ah thanks girls for your replies, will see how it goes on Tuesday with my consultant think I will be writing a list of questions to ask her!! xx

 

[Sherlock]

Hey hun Saw your nick and had to stop by.

Sorry to hear you are not feeling so great. But you sound like you have a good MW there and hopefully she'll be there to back you up and support you. Sounds like she is not afraid to pick up the phone and ask for more to be done which is good.

I know its hard but try to relax over the weekend and not fret. Write your Q's for the consultant and hopefully once you see her on Tuesday she can help reassure you about things.

Trust your body and your feelings and don't take no for an answer. If you feel yourself getting upset by Docs etc take a slow deep breath and ask them if you can have another Doctor please as you are not comfortable with them. Some Doctors bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired for sure, so don't take it personally. But don't be afraid to speak up and let them know you are not happy with things and what they are doing. I know its not always easy to do but you are entitled to change Docs if you want.

Re your homebirth, how does your MW feel about it? Don't decide anything now as you are worried and until you've spoken to your consultant and had baby checked out again I don't think you should rush any decision. I know how much you wanted one and if the rest of your pregnancy goes well here is hoping you still can Keep positive as its a great moral booster, although not always easy.

Anytime you want to chat drop me a PM ok. I'm always around, just might take a little longer to reply these days.

Thinking of you

 

[dannii87]

Trust your body and your feelings and don't take no for an answer.

That's exactly my advice too. Trust your body hun...

By the way, I haven't seen you on for a while so I'm glad you're back, I've moaned waaaay more than you sweet!! Don't ever worry about that xxx

 

[Keano_Forever]

Hi Sherlock - lovely to hear from you and thank you so much for replying to my thread

Hi Danni - yes I haven't posted in a while, can't believe how I feel really I've gone from been truly 100% excited and so happy to now where I am so despondent it's unbelievable.

I just feel like I cannot enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and it's such a horrible feeling to be honest.

35 weeks tomorrow and I dread each day

Hugs to you all

 

[dannii87]

Oh Keano I went through a HORRIBLE patch at about 16-20 weeks... It only lasted about a month but it dragged so much and every day I just felt like the worst Mum to be ever because of how I was feeling... I think the shock of actually becoming a Mum in a few weeks and the stress of being heavily pregnant etc etc builds up around this point and makes you feel like crap. Especially after everything you've been through ^^

Hope you feel better soon hun xxx

 

[abcd1234]

No they wouldn't scan me as they said there was no need for one. They were not at all worried about scar abrubtion, my pains or my frame of my mind

i'm quite suprised by this tbh! my hospital scanned me for much less then this and i never even asked them to, i'd had reduced movement but been on the monitor and she'd kicked whilst on so i was happy to leave it at that but they scanned anyway and checked her position.
maybe if you talk to you mw she can help with the hospital, if you've got a good mw behind you i would put those homebirth plans to use!ou'll probably feel more confident knowing she's there listening then at the hospital worrying they wont care about what you want and how you feel.
I really dont think they should be ignoring you section scar pains! Were they busy, thy might have just wanted you in and out asap

 

[Keano_Forever]

I was quite taken aback by their whole attitude to be honest and it made me feel worse than when I arrived there.

They were not busy but never the less quite abrupt.

I really do not want to pursue a home birth now, I just really fear that something horrible is going to happen.

Thought I would feel better today but I don't, I hope Tuesday can bring me some peace of mind and I hope my consultant listens to me and doesnt "tell" me how it will be.

 

[HideiLu]

Aww hun... first then secondly, do NOT apologise for posting stuff like this, that's what we're all hear for, support.

Like the others said, sounds like you have a good MW, so keep faith in that and focus on that positive.

Secondly, slap wrists to the ward for not looking after a worried pregnant mummy in pain Can't believe they wouldn't do a scan or listen to what you were trying to say.

Hope you get a proper examination and answers soon. If you are not satisfied, I would go straight back to your lovely MW and chat to her about it again.

In the mean time, do try to relax and focus on all the positive stuff happening. Keep smiling xx