Feeling so low today

[MariaIsabella]

Hi,

I have been posting on the “trying to conceive” group before but think I belong to this group, it’s been over 1,5 years now.

I just have one of these days when I feel so low. I was diagnosed with endometrial hyperplasia 6 months ago and have been on progesterone treatment to try to sort it out for the last 6 months ( can TTC during the treatment ). Had another biopsy after 3 months but still had to continue since it was still there.. Have another biopsy in July but have a feeling its not going to be clear.

So tired of it all, I am almost 37 and feel like I am running out of time, especially since I can’t even try now when on treatment. The good thing is I have ( or at least had 9 months ago ) a good AMH value of 35-40 but my age is really bothering me and stress me out so much!! L

Sorry about the rant but having a bad day.

 

[Chrissi]

Hi, sorry to hear your feeling so down, I know how you feel since I found out my best friend is pregnant for the second time since I've been ttc. It will be 3 years in September! Been to the doctors today and have been prescribed fluoxetin to help with depression. X

 

[MariaIsabella]

Hi, sorry to hear your feeling so down, I know how you feel since I found out my best friend is pregnant for the second time since I've been ttc. It will be 3 years in September! Been to the doctors today and have been prescribed fluoxetin to help with depression. X

thank you so much for your response.

It is so hard and can imagine even harder for you since almost 3 years.. Sorry for complaining, I know some women in this group have been trying for ages. I just feel really old and miserable the last couple of day.

All my friends have babies by now and found out my ex boyfriend's girlfriend is pregnant and she is like 25!

What is the explanation for you waiting this long? Have you been diagnosed?

 

[snowbee]

Hiya, three years for us too now, ttc our first. Sucks big time doesn't it. Found out this week one of our friends is expecting their second, they didn't start ttc their first until after us.

 

[MariaIsabella]

Hiya, three years for us too now, ttc our first. Sucks big time doesn't it. Found out this week one of our friends is expecting their second, they didn't start ttc their first until after us.

I know, its horrible. Even though you normally would be happy for others getting pregnant its hard now. If someone tells me I have a hard time not starting to cry. Sometimes people bring their babies to work and that's the worst!

Snowbee, I see you have PCOS, is this the reason you have waited this long?

 

[Chrissi]

Hi, I think whether it's 6 months or 10 years it seems to still get us down! I have been diagnosed with PCOS, just waiting to see the consultant in august to get a lap and dye as I have lots of endometriosis symptoms too!
I'm guessing they're taking their time as I'm only 21 and we're not able to have ivf on NHS til I'm 23, so got about 16 months
It seems they penalise you for being young or older, the time is never right! Xx

 

[bubbea]

Hi, I hardly ever post on here anymore. But thought I would as I know what it's like when you have a low day! Me and my partner have been Ttc for nearly 5 years. 2 years ago I had a miscarriage and very shortly after a endometrial hyperplasia. It's awful I never thought the bleeding would stop. It lasted about 6 months and after that I didn't have a period for 11 months. It's hard when want to try but physically impossible. I think it's draining on you emotionally and that's when most of my low days were. So just a message to say it will pass and you will feel much better. Xxx

 

[snowbee]

Hiya, three years for us too now, ttc our first. Sucks big time doesn't it. Found out this week one of our friends is expecting their second, they didn't start ttc their first until after us.

I know, its horrible. Even though you normally would be happy for others getting pregnant its hard now. If someone tells me I have a hard time not starting to cry. Sometimes people bring their babies to work and that's the worst!

Snowbee, I see you have PCOS, is this the reason you have waited this long?

The pcos isn't helping. It means I don't always ovulate and sometimes miss cycles out, so less chances to fall pg in the first place. Then I've also got a higher chance of mc if we do get pg so that is all a bit depressing. I think my hormones just being a bit out is also messing with my lining and I'm currently concerned that it isn't building up enough as my periods have been extremely light recently. My consultant doesn't seem to care and sadly unless we travel a huge distance he is our only option both on the nhs and private. I think we are going to give it to the end of this year and then we will have to move on to a different clinic and suffer the travelling.

How are you feeling now?

 

[Meggymac]

Hi everybody, I've just joined today. Mostly because I'm feeling pretty down. We have been ttc for 18 months so far. Just having initial tests done and getting DH results on Fri. Im hoping it's good news as I'm also going for dinner on Friday with 4 of my friends who are all pregnant. I'm managing that alright, and I'm happy for them but to top it off my best friend( not one of the 4) has just told me she is pregnant. Again I'm trying to be positive and swallow down the bitterness that she fell preg first cycle( when she didn't really want to) but I text today to find out how her scan went and she was saying she bets I'm getting really broody now everyone is pregnant ! I couldn't believe she would be so insensitive.

 

[snowbee]

Hi Meggymac and welcome. Good luck with your results I hope they can give you some answers and a way forward. It can really hurt when people speak without thinking. We have a bbq this weekend and I'm going to be the only one there who hasn't had a baby in the last year so anyone want to bet how long it will take for someone to mention it?! Really looking forward to being surrounded by babies, not. I hate myself for feeling this way but hoping getting it out now will mean I can take it on the day.

 

[Meggymac]

Thanks for the welcome Snowbee. I guess people just get wrapped up in their own joy. I would like to think though that if I had been so lucky then I would still respond sensitively whether I knew someone's situation or not. I also can't belive the amount of people that think it's an acceptable question to ask if you are ttc ! One day I'm going to respond by asking a very personal question about their sex life and see how they like it ! Ha! I feel your pain with the BBQ situation. I was at a baby shower last week and was the only childless/not preg one. My friend who's shower it was said she would understand if I didn't want to go, which I guess is thoughtful but I could imagine the chat if I hadn't gone. I would try be a social butterfly at the BBQ and don't get landed with anyone's baby. The one thing I can see from the forums is what I've been feeling is natural So instead of feeling bad get it all out. It's self preservation ! X

 

[kittykitchn]

I was at a family wedding a couple of weeks ago... three people asked when we were going to start trying and if I was broody seeing all the babies there. The hardest day of TTC so far by a mile.
I know they're just trying to make conversation and be friendly, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be one of the first questions I'd ask someone...

 

[snowbee]

We need to get some good come backs in stock. Problem is I don't want to seem rude when they are genuinely just being thoughtless but well meaning and I don't want to broadcast to the world that we might not be able to have children as it just opens up another load of insensitive questions about ivf and adoption. The last thing I want to hear is people with babies telling me to 'just adopt', like it is that simple and the answer, if it was why didn't they do it?! Or them saying oh yes I know so and so they tried for years then had ivf and had a baby, well good for them but I'm not them and there isn't a baby guaranteed at the end of it all so just shut up. Gah.

If it is old people I suppose I could ask them at funerals if it will be them next.

 

[snowbee]

Or the absolute worst, telling you to 'just relax' and it will happen. Gee I hadn't thought that might solve all my medical issues.

Sorry I seem to have had a small rant! I'll tootle off now and take a chill pill

 

[kittykitchn]

It may have been a small rant, but it certainly made me chortle. Old people at a funeral for the win!

 

[Blueflower]

Sorry you're feeling down. We have 'unexplained' but now they are saying I'm too old, but I wasn't when we first started trying!

Social gatherings with babies are so hard, the worst one for me was when a 12 year old relative of DH said loudly "you're the only ones without a baby now!" It was awful! Its horrible seeing younger friends now with 2 children in the time we've been trying for the first one! But if you don't go you miss out and feel even more isolated. I love the funeral comment! What can we say to younger people....hmmm? I had a positive experience recently though, we went to a barbecue that I was dreading and was almost in tears at the one last year, but I actually came away with the feeling that they regarded me as very brave! It made me feel a bit better!

I hope you feel more positive soon, it really is so up and down, seems to be mostly down sadly.