feeling so lonely :(

[Bunnykins]

I hope this doesn't come across as pathetic and selfish as it feels in my head, but having a horrid day today. I feel so lonely at the moment, i read in my books or on this forum how people fuss over u when ur pregnant, but I haven't experienced this yet, my family are happy I'm pregnant but they seem to be leaving me to get on with it and are taking the view I don't need any help as there is nothing wrong with me (despite carrying round a baby that is as big as a melon and nearly weighs a bag of sugar), so I haven't even seen any of them for weeks as they are caught up in their own lives, my inlaws haven't even batted an eyelid about my pregnancy as their other grandchild was recently born so I've not heard a peep from them, no one at work cares as they are all men and still make me lift stuff etc. yesterday I had to make 200 cupcakes for a friends wedding I ran myself ragged doing them on my own and carried them all to the car etc even tho they were heavy, then later on at the party I had to stand the whole night as noone offered me a chair despite my obvious bump, my back was agony by the end of it all.
I just feel that after months of struggling with hyperemisis, and now feeling the strain of my ever growing bump it would just be lovely if someone offered to help me or do things for me or just offered to cook my tea or give me a backrub? Maybe I'm just being really selfish and should just man up and just get on with stuff?

 

[midnight]

do you just get on with it or moan to people like saying oh my backs hurting i could do with a back rub ect i find if you say nothing and get on with it people just presume your good so moan away to people and you dodne better than me if people younger than me was happily chilling on a seat id of said errrrr move please haha i hate it when you see young people sat on a cosy seat on the bus whilst old people pregnant people or people with small children standing and holding on for dear life just so they dont fall, it makes me want to tell em to move haha

 

[scottishlassie]

Hiya bunny, didn't want to read and run, but I don't think you need to man up and get on with things - you're carrying a baby! And people should be taking notice. Family can be a difficult issue to solve but in terms of work they shouldn't be making you lift things, is there maybe a supervisor you can speak to or HR to let them know because it's not fair on you at all, you're body is going through a big change and you shouldn't be straining yourself hun. Do you have a partner or OH you could ask to help you with things.. And for things like helping out at friends wedding etc do you have a friend you could ask to help you.. Some people aren't so quick on the up take that pregnant woman are not meant to be straining themselves and i think sometimes you just need to tell them or stamp your foot. I was told by colleagues that exercise is good when pregnant and they were making me walk up a massive hill - I was already in pain and ended up just saying 'look I can't do this!!' i was quite angry to say the least. You're not being selfish hun xx

 

[Geminiblue]

TELL THEM! I am a great believer in if you are not happy spit it out. Dont man up babe...lets face it what man could do what we do hey ;->

So, at work you say "erm excuse me, Im not lifing this Im not allowed to as per my doctor". Invite family round and tell them youre feeling tired. Stop doing it all yourself and tell people.

I was in the supermarket the other day and skidded on a wet floor, I went and complained and told them that even though I dont look pregnant I am, they soon got running around.

take care sweetie xxx

 

[PrincessPeanut]

I would say man up but in terms of opening your mouth and telling them.

You should definitely not of done those cupcakes without help!! Speak up hun. Even if it's just inviting family round for a light tea or something so they can actually see how knackered you are and how you start needing a bit more help. They'll soon start jumping when they see how exhausted you are and want to help look after you xxx

 

[Bunnykins]

Thanks for this, I dont know what I would do without this forum your the only ones who seem to understand whats its like being pregnant!! I had a long heart to heart with my OH (who has been fab and has helped me out loads but he is also busy starting a new job and stuff) and I think I am going to have to start being a bit stronger and say when I need help, I dont think it will make much difference with my family but I am going to try shouting up and playing the pregnancy card a bit more, at the moment I feel like a fat workhorse rather than a delicate pregnant lady and that is how I am sure everyone else sees me too!

 

[Geminiblue]

you go girlfriend you tell em!! good luck babe xxx