Feeling low 90% of the time

[Sol]

The title says it all really I feel so low and burst in to tears at the slightest thing.
I have been fine until the last couple of weeks ago and now I am thinking about everything negative and hardly anything positive.

My best made moved away last week so she's over an hour away rather than just round the corner.

J is back to normal and being an angel but I feel so lonely even though I go out to a mother and baby group. I still feel so isolated though because everyone i know has had their kids years ago except for my mate who just moved.
My good friends are out at work all day and I feel so empty allot of the time. The only thing that helps is hugs from hubby but he has to go to work and I feel all alone once he goes out the door.

After working full time for I feel so torn between looking after and enjoying every moment with J and working to provide for her, I am dreading going back to work even though it's not until July and she was with my mum for like 15 minutes the other day and all I could think about was when can I get back to her even though i was only at the park with the dogs.

Sorry for the long post girls but is this normal am I the only one? I feel like I'm failing her with going back to work before I've even begun to be a proper mum.

 

[Taassh_0x]

Didn't want to run after reading your post and not comment, I can't really comment on how your feeling bcuz i've not yet had baby, but i've been feeling depressed recently during pregnancy. It's good that you go to the mother and baby group, tell one of the members of the group how your feeling? Is there anybody close to you, you could phone up like your mom, friend, sister ect... The way I keep on top of it Is concentrating on the good things, get yourself a hobby that you can do in the house and out, like painting ect... Go out with your friends and bring baby, maybe arrange some of the moms from the mothers and baby group to come for dinner at the pub or something one of the days? Just make sure you keep getting yourself out there, and tell people how your feeling. Don't be scared too because otherwise you will feel worse. Instead of feeling low, Just think of happy things, like taking baby on first holiday? Maybe you can start arranging that? If you keep yourself busy... you start to feel a bit better more of the time (that's what I do). It's bound to get you down some times because your whole life has changed, you can no longer just go out when you fancy, you have to arrange a babysitter or take the little one with you which means checking you've got everything ect... My friend was feeling the same when she first had her son, now she feeling a lot better. She takes him everywhere, for Sunday lunch, shopping, swimming ect... xx good luck hope you start to feel better and my advise was useful x And as for the work bit, just go when you feel ready. Try not to worry about it, I don't like going into college but your not been a bad mom leaving her to go back to work, some moms do it straight away and some don't... you may feel better once you've got back into the routine and can talk to some of your friends at work xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

Oh aol im so sorry you feel like this. Do you think it would help speaking to a doctor?
Have you made any friends at these mother and toddler groups? They are great for meeting other mums.

I felt a bit lonely for a while, so I just started going out and walking everywhere, like to town which is a good half hour walk, and just getting out, now I have found my diary pretty full! Hope you're ok. X

 

[rainbow dancer]

I can feel pretty lonely from time to time as hubby away from mon to fri on a course and apart from a few friends who all work, I have my mil and that's it. I just get out n about like flexi said. I've also arranged with mil that we take it in turns one we'd she stays at mine and following week I stay at hers. Justtill Hubble finishes course as really miss adult company. I hope you feel better soon Hun xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Ahh Hun, you are totally normal, I was just like this with my first son 12 years ago. I missed work, as that was my routene and normality, yet wanted to be a super mum too. I went back when baby was 18 weeks old and do you know he was just fine.

I told the health visitor about my being down and she kept an eye on me and sugested ideas just like the ladies have above which changed everything. I made sure i went out to a baby group ,walk or shops trip for food, or story time at library or park etc TWICE a day. I then really picked up in myself. having suvived those auwkward moments when meeting new parents at todlers groups and sticking at it, was great as I then arranged cuppas with other mums and park trips , walks etc , soft play trips out with our babies and as lex said the diary filled up and I felt happy and like I was doing a great job.

One thing to do now, is to set your self realistic goals of what you will achieve or try to acheive in the day
Remember your doing better than you think - you don't need to be super mum, just a mum....
If I set unrealistic goals, I tend to fail first time....(do things in little bites!)

Start by saying , right today I will start talking to another mum I bump into see at a group or when in the shops, (kids are great ice breakers!)

I actually have a brain like a sieve, so when I meat a mum and baby at a group, I make a note in my phone, so I help remeber them the following week! then we are moving on each time.... Try to be a regular and always go to the group once you start as the same mums will mostly do too and you start a rapport with them.

Once you go back to work, you will have a few mum mates by then and make sure you meet at weekends for coffees and you will keep in touch etc , have days out in holidays. I still do this with my 12 year old mum mates as most are working..

Oh and well done for posting this , once you ask for help and advice , your halfway there X

 

[Sol]

Thanks girls I am feeling a bit better now, had a big long chat with the health visitor who was great and just lsitened.
Have been to baby massage and also a toddler group but not really clicking with anyone.
All of them seem to be bottle feeding and it seems Jasmine is the only little girl bless but in that way it's nice too.

Baby massage was good but not going this week cause I'm in work for a day. Things are looking up and just taking things one day at a time )

 

[Minchin]

Hey there
Glad to read things are picking up for you. I felt liek this quite a lot at times and realised I had to get myself out of the house every day or else I ended up feeling really down. Keep at it with the baby groups and you'll find one with a few friendly mums you can make good friends with I hope. What about a library near you with a ryhme/story time? It's good you spoke to your hv too hon. xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Brilliant well done -I did baby massage too, strange but good , did you like it?

Hang in there , it may take more time to find someone you click with, and hard to talk properly with everyone feeding babies , moving about etc

 

[Sol]

Am gettign there gradually not really found anyone to click with that much but there haven't been many mums going to the baby group because of half term and back holidays but hubby has been home which has been good.

J is being a sweetie and shes is 4 months today wow where did the time go?

I'm going out more now too as J is getting bored and I'm going mad staying at home. I may go to see a friend who lives about 40 minutes away soon as it's driving me a bit nuts being at home every day.

Thanks for all positive messages guys i can see it really is getting slowly better now )