feeling frantic

[muffin]

i had a m/c on thursday (was 7 weeks), it was my 2nd. we'd been trying for nearly a year to concieve and i/we were just on cloud 9 to get a BFP. thing is, and i no this sounds silly, but it has just literally hit me in a huge wave.i want my baby back, i want my chance again. i suddenly feel like someone has ripped out my inards..... does that make any sense?? i suddenly feel like im faced with a huge great big wall to climb again, do i dive back in and try again or shall concede defeat and say this was never ment to be??? thought i was doing ok earlier, had begun to feel alright, and now i feel so utterly desolate.......

sorry if none of this makes any sense, was desperate to get this feeling out

 

[Andrianne]

muffin

I'm so sorry for your losses. Never experienced a m/c so don't really know what to say. All i know by reading here is that many women experience m/cs and then go on to have healthy pregnancies. It's up to you whether you want to start ttc again or if it's best to wait. I'm not to say don't give up because the pain of losing the baby - and I can only imagine - is too much to bear. I hope you have enough support through this difficult time. Best wishes for the future

xxxx
Andrianne

 

[Emmylou]

Muffin

I experienced m/c a year ago, and felt incredibly sad - I hadn't known I was pg, but still the feelings of loss were there. I can only imagine what you are feeling right now, & only you and your OH can decide whether to jump back in, the miracle of life is a wonderful thing, my auntie experienced several miscarriages before being blessed with my cousin, and although this may not help you today, she has always said that although she felt great sadness for each loss she experienced, she felt more joy when my cousin was born than she had ever imagined.

Be kind to yourself hun, love and thoughts for you and your OH

 

[Charm]

Ohh Muffin I'm so sorry.

I have had 2 miscarriages within a year of trying and I know how hard it is.
I so desperately want to be Pg again but I'm terrified that if I do get Pg I'll just be waiting for the inevitable and it scares the sh*t out of me

I too feel like I have a mountain to climb...and when I reach the top will I get knocked back down again. It's so hard.

It hit me hardest when the due date for my first baby came and went. I have never felt pain like it. It was so totally unexpected and I felt so alone. My DH was great but they can't fully understand what you're going through.

I know I have more chance than most of a miscarriage again but I need to try, I know it'll be hard and those first few months if I make it will be hell. But I want to be a mum so much.

My advice to you is take some time out, grieve your loss and try again when you feel ready (If that's possible).
I don't think a lot of people realise just how hard it is because you were only a few weeks and hadn't felt you baby kick yet, it was still your baby it was a part of you.

Take care of yourself and if you need to chat I'm here.

Charm X

 

[Peanut]

Great reply Charm. Makes me feel much more positive, hopefully you will too Muffin.

I've been struggling to come up with a reply to your post Muffin, cos it made me , fat lot of use I am to you, so thank god for Charm.

 

[PyscoFalcon]

I understand what your going thru. I lost my first baby at just over 6 weeks. Lost it with loads of pain too

I've never felt so empty as tho as part of me is missing before. Even felt like going back on depo and got really depressed. However a month later my hormones took over and I started ttc again without realising it. (several bottles of WKD Blue helped )

Just stressing now if I do get preggers again will I loose it? Not sure I can go thru it all again.

 

[muffin]

thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the things you've said, i feel so close to my friends on here even though i wouldnt recognise any of you on the street, the irony of it!! thank you charm, its the fact that i feel very alone yet (we) still all have each other to lean on that really does get me thru.
The doc who dealt with us in hospital last week, said a successfull preg is as random as rolling a six on a dice sometimes. The more ive thought about it the more i see hes quite right. im coming to terms with the fact it had little if anything to do with anything i did, it was sadly just one of those things. thank you all again, you are a huge support and a great help right now
xx

 

[loulou1980]

aww darling,dont know what to say but will a hug do

 

[Emmylou]

thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the things you've said, i feel so close to my friends on here even though i wouldnt recognise any of you on the street, the irony of it!! thank you charm, its the fact that i feel very alone yet (we) still all have each other to lean on that really does get me thru.
The doc who dealt with us in hospital last week, said a successfull preg is as random as rolling a six on a dice sometimes. The more ive thought about it the more i see hes quite right. im coming to terms with the fact it had little if anything to do with anything i did, it was sadly just one of those things. thank you all again, you are a huge support and a great help right now
xx

Nobody can explain why a miscarriage happens - you cannot ever blame yourself, my MIL said last year that I should look at the baby I lost as an angel who will watch over me during my next pg, I know this is prob not much help to you now, you really need to grieve, but maybe it will help you in time if you ttc again.

Big Hugs for you hunny