Feeling down

[Shepherdess]

I'm sorry you've had a bad time and been feeling low. My personal opinions is that if you can say anything supportive or helpful don't bother. I don't understand posting articles against parenting methods. You don't like it? Fine don't do it, there's no need to give your opinion. Every baby is different and we all have to adapt. I used controlled crying and thankfully it worked very quickly. I was told I was putting my needs above my babies and made to feel awful but honestly, I was getting no sleep and was very cranky during the day and I believe risking pnd. My child didn't suffer for it and now we are both happy.

Do what's best for you Hun! You're doing great!

 

[Rainbow1234]

Aww Karleigh, I had no idea that has affected you so much but I hope I reassured you that you are not a crap mum. Luca is healthy and loved and crying for a short time before he goes to bed isn't going to change that. Ive been getting fed up of all the arguing on here about CC too, there's no one here who doesn't love and want to do what's best for their child...but we're all individuals and have different styles. I really believe if people have nothing positive and constructive to say then maybe they should say nothing at all x

 

[El1en]

I completely agree with you there rainbow! Saying "CC is cruel and I don't agree with it..." Is unhelpful and no one really needs to know that, we should be being supportive of one another. The arguments are here lately have been ridiculous. My New Years resolution was to limit my internet use and I've been doing nothing great with it, the childish arguments on here have meant I haven't felt the desire to come on.

No one using this site is better than anyone else, we all love our children and if you need to let your child cry for a few minutes you don't love them any less. Let's have each other's backs girls! No one should be using negative articles to put anyone down

I breast feed and I'm an avid supporter of bf, my sil has told me (she doesn't have kids yet) that she will formula feed but is already worried about the backlash for it, I've told her I will always have her back and stick up for her in public. Bf is best for me, it's not for her so I'll never bring it up to her no matter how much I would like to promote bf, it's not helpful To her

Sorry I know I'm going off on a tangent! We're all awesome

 

[Rooster30]

I'm all for the supporting not hating attitude

 

[kumber]

Yet you've all hated on me for expressing a different opinion about the extreme use of a parenting technique I'm out of this, do enjoy slagging me off ladies

 

[Rainbow1234]

I don't think anyone's hating on you. Just saying that negative opinions are maybe best kept out of it and it'll be a lot more pleasant if we can try to help each other instead x

 

[Applepie]

Its pretty obvious you're all hating on kumber tbh. I personally dont agree with all this keep your mouth shut if you disagree with something. Why? If someone is doing something which isn't recommended then why shouldn't we be free to talk about the fact? Is it a case of cognitive dissonance?

 

[Rooster30]

I was just agreeing that positivity is a good thing...

 

[nicky1987]

I don't think any names or any people in particular have been mentioned? So nobody's hating on anybody - what is this? Primary school? Seems like it some times! Seriously if you don't like a post then ignore it!

 

[violet13]

Personally I dislike crying it out for the simple fact it's cruel that's how I feel about it anyway. It's up to you what you do but others opinions are not the end all and be all if you don't like it then ignore it and carry on with what you're doing. But Crying it out has been proven to cause neurological decreases and cause mental issues that's not to say what your doing is wrong it's your kid at the end of the day so if you find your parenting technique works then that's up to you and only
You. It's not for anyone else to decide what you do or how you parent but not everyone is out to make you feel bad either some just don't agree. Xxx

 

[El1en]

Oh my god same argument again, can we not move on. I hope lulu that you're feeling better and that you find support from some positive people!

My comment wasn't meant to stoke a fire just to try and promote positive support! We're all on the same journey we're just taking different paths, good luck everyone!

 

[Applepie]

This whole post was negative and aimed at certain individuals lol! Even if someone does think they’re better than you or doing things better, why would you care? Are you parenting so others will give you pats on the back or doing it for your child and your family? It starts by being comfortable in your own choices, whatever they are, so that if someone chooses something different or writes on the possible risks of what you've done, you’re okay with it. If you read something that makes you take pause regarding your decision, then take it as a moment of growth and learning, not something to beat yourself up over. After all, you can only do as good as you can with the information you have and the hand you’re dealt.

 

[Holi]

I think it all depends how the op starts the thread - if its 'what do you guys think of xxx?' Then feel free to pass on your knowledge on the subject but if the thread is more like 'I'm doing xxx does anyone who has done it got any advice' then maybe leave off posting negative comments about the decision that has already been made.

But everyone here is doing their best and are doing amazingly! Let's all keep it up xxxx

 

[Rainbow1234]

I don't understand how even asking people to stay constructive and supportive can turn into an argument.

 

[Lulu90]

It really is awful, I did forget there were a couple of bullies on this forum. I personally don't think I attacked anyone with my post. I was expressing how something personally upset me and to not cause myself or any other mum any more upset, I just thought it might be a good idea to keep articles off the forum, because not all of us worship the guidelines for one reason or another. It just isn't fair.

Kumber, this wasn't a personal attack and no ones slagging you off.

 

[violet13]

I wasn't bullying you, you've taken it out of contex. He's your baby you do what you think is right for you both but again not everyone's going to agree those where my personal views on it and a lot of
People like to follow the guidelines because they can provide helpful tips for a new mum as some don't always know what's best especially first time mums half my time is spent worrying tbh but I think that's just me I get that from my dad. Xxx

 

[Toni.C]

Yawn. The same argument again.

As previously said, instead of bitching and at each other's throats, agree to disagree and move on but stop with the nastiness or at least stop making it public.

We all have our own ways of doing things and we're all on the same journey. There is no right or wrong any for doing anything and what works for one person doesn't always work for another.

 

[Lulu90]

I'm confused as to why there is an argument on my thread. Nothing in my original post was argumentative. I felt down and was upset about something specific, I expressed it and gained some great support from some lovely ladies. No need to get into an argument, sheesh.

On a brighter note, Luca went down without crying tonight, I'm one happy mummy. He's stopped napping during the day so maybe that's why he's been better going down the past week xx

 

[Donna88]

Just ignore the arguments if you can


YAY for Luca and for you hope he gets a nice long sleep

 

[Rooster30]

Sorry Lulu, I think it went tits up when I said I'm all for supporting not hating, at least it seemed to spiral then. It was meant purely in a positive way and in agreement that there should be less bickering and more supportiveness amongst us. I honestly didn't mean any harm by it and sorry to those who were upset by it.