Feeling blue...

[carrieanne]

Feeling pretty down, yesterday would've been my due date had I not miscarried in January.

I know that I wasn't really that far on but it still really gets to me. I thought I'd be a mess yesterday but I just kept myself busy and I'm doing pretty much the same today. But I want to scream, cry my eyes out, you know - just to get the emotion out. But for some reason I can't.

I feel totally useless and am getting really agitated by not being able to conceive again no matter what we are doing.

I know I've mentioned it in another post back in May but I keep catching myself giving other people/babies dirty looks which makes me feel awful because I'm not normally like that.

It's heartbreaking to see others with babies and children, especially all my friends and ex's which is making me feel like it's me that's got something wrong with me. Everyone keeps telling me "oh at least you know you can get pregnant" but do I? Just because it happened once doesn't mean all is ok as I've now been trying since February and nothing.

I'm trying to be upbeat but that is proving very difficult just now. I hope that my mood improves!

 

[Balthazar1275]

I know how you feel Carrieanne
We lost our pregnancy at 6 weeks back in June, it was our 1st cycle trying to concieve, this is our 4th cycle and still not pregnant.
I would be been at my 12week scan 2weeks ago, I know that as the hospital still sent me the appointment through the post. It was like I knife through the heart, just a reminder of what would of been.
What hurts even more is that a girl I work with has just announced she is pregnant and her due date is 4 days later than what mine would of been. So I have to watch her getting bigger and experiencing all her stages of pregnancy knowing I would of been going through that too.
Life is just so cruel sometime.

FX we get our sticky beans very soon carrieanne.

 

[Lillyprincess]

I also miscarried at 10 weeks. I'm desperate to conceive again. Xx

 

[Princess81]

Big hugs it's a sad time for you and I think you should have a cry if that's what you feel like doing I miscarried my first and I cried on my due date, i conceived quickly after mc and I was 7 months pregnant with my son at that time and I was still upset. It's natural to feel that way xxx

 

[carrieanne]

thanks guys, feeling a bit better about things but still have that feeling I just want to burst but I just can't.

Balthazar1275, I was desperate to tell everyone when I knew I was pregnant but obviously held off and literally the week before I miscarried the guy next to me announced his wife was pregnant again less than 4 months after his last had been born, the girl behind me announced she was at 12 weeks and another woman in the same room who is over 40 and has an abundance of health issues found out that she wasn't going through menopause but infact was 4months pregnant. Was ecstatic that I only had another few weeks before I could announce mine too and then was totally devestated and knowing I had to watch others sitting so close grow.

Lillyprincess I am the same though I think desperate was a few months ago for me and now I'm obsessed and completely manic about it so trying to calm it down a bit.

Princess81, we didn't know wether or not to wait before trying again and we just went for it in the end, as we were told that you are most fertile right after an mc but still nothing which I think is what is frustrating me more.

Keeping everything crossed as I'm ovulating again after my cycle changing (test last night confirmed), will be sure to let you all know if anything happens

 

[JJ Mum]

Sending you a hug , due dates are a really unsettling time. I went and brought a special named rose on my date (it was the only one flowering at the time in sept!) It's called sweet rememberance , yellow and I planted it a few months later when I felt ready.

Now that your due date has come and gone, you may find a sense of relief, and find it easier to think about. It was a turning point for me.

Did your cycle change after MC , have you tried the OPK's etc to check if your ovulation is at the same point in your cycle than it was before. Maybee try less trying and relax more about it, and you never know you may get a suprise bfp.

Wishing you the best of luck X