Feeling alone - 15 days postpartum

[Netty13]

Not too sure where to post but I just needed to write!
I had my beautiful baby boy 15 days ago at 38+3. I had a painful but wonderful water birth which I’m still in awe of having done and I love him to pieces BUT I just seem to feel like I’m alone and have no support and it’s really getting me down.

my partner and I aren’t in the best of places currently and I feel like she just picks holes in everything I do. If I don’t put him down after a feed I’m told off for smothering him. All I do is feed him apparently and don’t give my daughter any attention. She is making me feel like I’m useless and she just doesn’t care.

when I’m in the house alone with both of my babies, I feel so very lucky but I also feel sad and alone like I have no one and no support and it’s really hard. I’m sure it’s just because it’s so new again but I just wondered if this is a normal feeling regardless of having a rubbish relationship atm!

I get teary often which I know is normal too and my midwife wasn’t too concerned and said it’s better out now than bottling it up for months but I just don’t know, I don’t feel right I guess.

I also feel really sad that my little bump has gone. I know it’s silly but I miss how safe he was and feeling him moving. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love having him here with me now and wouldn’t change that for the world but I miss my bump too!!

please tell me others have felt like this too?!

 

[Unicorn]

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like this. It is tough and what you're describing does sound relatively normal in my experience but it's also good that you're keeping an eye on it! Are there things you can do that you think might help? With things opening up a bit more now taking the children to a playgroup might be a nice way for you to meet other mums experiencing the same thing to talk to whilst your daughter has fun playing and you can feed and cuddle your little boy? And have you seen working mums on Netflix, I found that good for a laugh and normalising the situation xx

 

[Krysta]

This sounds a lot like baby blues to me. Soon, it should get better. Also remember your hormones are still going back to normal! I am 3 months post partum and still don’t feel 100% myself yet. If it lasts more than 3 weeks, I would have your doctor do a PPD screening to make sure it’s not that.

I think you should really have a conversation with your partner. It sounds like she is really making you feel bad and that’s not okay. She needs to be aware of how her words are affecting you. Be honest and be calm. Try and get her to understand where you’re coming from.

Post partum is scary sometimes… at least it was for me. I felt alone a lot and really needed support from my husband. You should be getting that, so I would definitely set aside some time to talk, and soon.

I really hope you start to feel better. And I’m sorry you’re going through this!