SAHM's

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

Do you ever feel bad? For anything?

I sometimes feel bad that Caitlyn isn't in nursery. She loves other children and we only go to places with other children 2-3 times a week. I feel bad I'm not bringing in more money for us to spend on Caitlyn, I thought my time with her was much more important but I'm starting to doubt myself. I feel bad for sometimes wishing I was at work because she does my nut in. That sounds so bad doesn't it but when she's been up all night and is screaming all day (for no reason, not that anything is wrong) I wish I had a job to escape to..... And that leads onto the last bit, I sometimes resent Rich because he gets to go to work and get a break and I'm on the job 24/7. I love my job, I do, it's the best job in the world, just sometimes I feel things would be better for everyone if I was working...... Even though I've always thought being a SAHM was the most important thing. I always had my mum around when I was little and I couldn't imagine her out working and not being there...

I've just read that back and I sound so ungreatful for being able to stay at home. That's not how it was meant to sound......

 

[Toonlass]

I sometimes feel the same chick. Infact my OH got made redundant so i am going back to work on the 1st december and OH is gonna be a SAHD. I keep thinking 'now see how "easy" it is' coz he really thinks its gonna be a breeze. This sounds awful but even tho i don't like where i work, i am looking forward to the break from just being mam all day every day and having something more stimulating to do.

I think maybe its normal for us to sometimes feel guilty for having normal feelings. Don't feel bad hun xx

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

It's one of those things, I guess. If I was at work I'd feel bad for not being at home, but because I'm at home I feel bad for not working!

 

[Pompey_Princess]

i think you've hit the nail on the head hon! we're mummy's we always feel guilty about something! i think there is always something i feel guilty about with regards to maddi, like you, do we do enough, do i do enough, when she goes to bed i think should i have done 'x' more today, but i no deep down that for us, being a SAHM is the right decision and i wouldn't ever want to change it.
i can relate to how you feel about rich working, james does stupidly long hours and i something think grr! but i no for a fact, and he says so, that he'd never be able to do what i do at home!
i think if you'd like a job, even just a few hours away, might be great for you hon! maybe just a couple of hours a week, or in the mean time, could your mum or sister take caitlyn for a few hours while you just catch up on being you! i no mum normally has maddi on a tuesday afternoon, while i come home and get my self sorted, normally with housework, and i take a nice shower and feel me again! then maddi comes back when she's had tea and i feel ready to be mummy again! we all need support and help hon xx

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

Nope, no one will have Caitlyn I've tried that. "You had a baby you look after her"

I just don't know if Caitlyn gets enough from me. She's so clever but she always seems bored. We do loads, we go on walks, we do colours, colouring... everything really... but she gets so bored still. Sometimes I wonder if she feels as lonely as I do...

 

[Pompey_Princess]

oh tor am so sorry they are taking that line! i don't think that at all! i think all mummies need help, especially from there mummies! and i no my mum was the same with my nan! and apparently being grandparents rocks!
it must be really tough chick perhaps rich can help you this weekend, even take her for a walk sat morning so you can have an extra hour in bed
how about a nursery once a week, is this something do-able? for what its worth think your doing a great job x

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

Most weekends we do a morning each but last weekend she was so poorly I couldn't really stay in bed whilst I knew she was upset, and this weekend we're going to Southend instead of last weekend, so no rest for the wicked this weekend either. It's just been a really shit month and I can't seem to get myself out of this big black hole. I'm so snappy with Rich when usually I'm so laid back. I love him to death and I trust him with my life but I just seem to be taking everything out on him like it's his fault. I asked him to send an e-mail for me last night and when he said "why can't you do it?" I just flipped. I told him WHY I can't do it, how knackered I am, how much I've been through and how no one ever notices when I feel like complete shit, they just make me feel worse for feeling shit and like I'm damaging Caitlyn for not having the best month of my life. He didn't really react to be honest..... Don't think he knew what to say. I could tell he wanted to say "stop taking it out on me," but knew better not to.

Sorry, this wasn't meant to turn into a depression thread.

 

[Mamafy]

Sometimes but I intend going back to work once Katie starts school.

It's a double edged sword isn't it?

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

My SIL has only just started working and her children are 17 and 11... She works at a school, in the kitchens, so she's still home when the children are. She's lucky to be able to do that as my brother has his own business. I was kind of hoping to do something similar (not untill they're 11 and 17 though!) I think that's a good idea, working while they're at school.

I don't even know when they start nursery...

 

[Mamafy]

3 hun

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

So the September after they're 3? Or on their 3rd birthday?

 

[Mamafy]

I think where you are its either September or January. Here it's just September but as Caitlyn is 3 in the June she will start in the September

 

[Pompey_Princess]

hon don't be sorry about where the thread goes, you've gotta talk to someone! we're all here for you x
i think we do take things out on our partners; i suppose relationship's mean that we share everything and that means we sometimes take stuff out on our partners. i no i do sometimes with james, about his parents, it's not his fault how they are, but sometimes i don't exactly remember that

it really is no rest for the wicked sometimes isn't it, i can relate to this hon! i do think you need to give yourself time hon, and i'm sure rich will understand this, you've had an awful month, and you need time to heal and recoup, try not to put yourself down hon, you've obviously done and are doing great with caitlyn xx

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

We're going away for the first weekend in Feb, my mums having Caitlyn all weekend.. That'll be a well needed rest. Dreading leaving her though, she has only been away from me for one night in her whole little life

 

[Mamafy]

It'll do you good hun

 

[Toonlass]

Aww hun, your a bag of emotions right now aren't you xx

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

Unfortunately.............. I was like this for months after I had Caitlyn, then I was fine, and now I feel rubbish again. Think it might be SAD related though... Blergh!

 

[Toonlass]

well your free to moan, offload, shout and cry to all of us here I hope you feel better soon xx