Feel like i have a part time husband

[love87]

Anybody elses husband working all the time? i am completely at a loss and dont know what to do. My husband works tuesday to friday 11am to 11pm. And then works anywhere between 6 to 9 hours with a different company on a saturday or sunday. I feel like we never see him. Our daughter cries when he is going to work. And to be honest i'm lonely at home on my own with LO everyday. I have tried talking to him but he says he's doing it for money (which he is) but we never see him anymore. I have sat and cried. He is not having an affair, i know this because he brings his roster home at the beginning of every week so i know he is rostered for those hours. Im just so lonely and my heart breaks for our daughter cause she misses him too. Im stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

[heatheror12]

I feel for u hun. My husband works away for 2 weeks at a time. Iv got a 5 month old and almost 2 year old. It's extremely hard. But I have to think he's doing it so that me an the kids have a good life. It's crap really. Not much advice. Just chin up xx

 

[Birdie]

love87 I can really sympathise.... our schedule isn't quite that bad, but my husband is gone from 6am until 8pm and then works from home until 11pm 2/3 nights and I work 7am-3pm both days at the weekend... we can feel like ships that pass in the night sometimes, but it does work for us both and we are happy with the sacrifices and really enjoy the rare time we get together as a family. You on the other hand sound very unhappy

Could you manage financially if he did less hours? Are things between you good when you do spend time together? I sometimes think men can get caught up in the whole providing thing, especially if they feel overwhelmed by parenthood.

Have you discussed how you feel with him?

 

[love87]

I have tried speaking to him and he is looking for another job with less hours. He has asked his bosses to cut his hours and they did but then they started creeping up again. Financially we could survive if he did 3 days, but his bosses will roster him for 4. my motto is work to live not live to work but it seems his motto is the opposite. I know he is trying to provide for us its just i miss him. When he is here things are great between us.

 

[sammielou]

Sometimes people find it hard to ask for things at work, he might be worried about damaging relations there by appearing 'awkward' from their point of view.

Make the most of the time you do all get to spend together. And make sure you plan fun things for you and your daughter while he works. Not only will it distract you both from his absence, but maybe the more your husband hears he is missing out on the more motivated he'll be to find a better balance.

 

[snowbee]

It can be difficult can't it. My husband works roughly 6.30am-9pm every day. He has 10 days off in January, that is all no weekends off at all. We occasionally get a few hours off together in the middle of the day.

If you can manage to make the most of the time you have together that is the main thing, we try to do things together or sit down for a meal and talk rather than playing with computers or tvs. Also don't fall into the trap of not doing things because he isn't there, my dad worked similar hours when I was a child and we did loads of things without him otherwise we would have done nothing.