Feel like I can't do it anymore..

[Crimson92]

I keep looking at my baby and feel like I never know what she wants and can never soothe her, she stayed at her grannies for the first time the other night and was apparently great but she is up every two hours with me, I keep going through motions of crying and then getting angry (at anything that makes a noise, not the baby) and then cooing over her and loving her when she is asleep but just not feeling like I can do anything when she is crying.

I know it sounds really bad but sometimes I just think I want to put her down and just leave her for some one else to give her what she wants because I can't. But I never would because I know she needs me.

I was balling my eyes out the other night because I felt I just couldn't do it and just can't do it when OH isn't there, and was ready to tell him everything when he came in, but as soon as he walked in I just clammed up and never told him anything, and then he told me he might be joining a football team and on his only two days off he will be busy - but I really feel I can't do anything without him and then just can't control my emotions.

Its took me alot to write this down and admit to feeling the way I do, please any advice on how to get over this bump in the road? x

 

[jodied]

Hun well done for writing it down I'm sure that's the first step to feeling better - maybe you should try talking to your oh and maybe the hv?

Everything can seem v overwhelming especially when you are sleep deprived but I'm sure you are doing a brilliant job!!

Maybe try to get some time for you - ask your oh if you can go out swimming or to gym or somewhere for you a couple of times a week in exchange for him going to football.

Sending you a big hug xx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Your doing a brilliant job Hun. It's hard work being a mum spesh when their so young and even now there's times where I don't know what charley wants.
Your little girl will start to sleep longer soon, the amount of times I thought I couldn't cope with the night feeds but she will sleep through and you will get through it.
Can your mum or OH's mum have her again for the night so you can catch up on some sleep?
Hope your ok x x

 

[ZMD]

Im sure most of us have felt the way your feeling Hun i know i did in the first few weeks But everything will soon get easier as lo starts sleeping more and going longer between feeds, try talkin to your OH about the way your feelin Im sure it'll help xx

 

[leanne1b]

Hi hun. Kinda feel like I had to reply because I was often like that... Still am at times. Have u said any of this to ur mw or hv? Chances are it's largely sleep deprivation. But if u feel u can, ask ur gp or hv to asses u for pnd? I have/had it. Io was really quite bad with it, and sone of the things u say ring a bell with me.
I didn't have any bad feelings towards my baby AT ALL. But pretty much everything else. Cried constantly, or was trance like. Now I'm a pill popper. Yay... Hmm lol.
Seriously tho, I would ask to be assessed. Not saying u have it!!! But just in case, quicker it's treated the better, and if it was pnd an they started treating it, at least u would start to feel better soon. I also found them just saying I had pnd a kind of relief because it was like, oh ok I'm nt just going crazy then?
Hope ur ok Hun xx

 

[JJ Mum]

You are brilliant to have posted hun, well done you - thats a great start to ask for help, carry tha on by sharing with your oh, tell him how you are finding it, he is not the one coping all week, he may not have any clue what you are going through and feeling, then ask your HV for advice, the more you share and ask for help the better, remember askign will not mean your a failure , (that's what I used to think after PND with baby number 1), it just means you have taken the first step to improving your situation - brilliant.

I would go through the basic checks with crying - change the nappy, is it feed time , (can be every 2 hours when tiny), have a cuddle , if baby is still crying - then hey that's not bad for baby either, they just do that, you won't be doing anything wrong. I walk about all day long with Devon some days, I have a baby carry, and so when I can't do anything, I pop him in that for a bit and then I can carry on with a few basic tasks like get myself lunch and make a well deserved cuppa. when hubby comes in, have some you time like someone said. Even if you don't want to go out, run a hot bubble bath and do your nails, works wonders for me when I feel exhausted and low, and let hubby have baby time.

In the day time, do go to a baby group, amazing how much other babies and new situations will shut baby up when there bored - my devon is bored after 10 mins of anything we do!!

It will get easier with a bit of time - your doing great, do let us know how your getting on in a few days

 

[isobel84]

you need to talk to your hv, its fairly common to get depressed, feel down and feel like its hard to cope. They will help you.
I was lucky that Noa was an easy baby but the first 3 weeks he cried a lot n I really struggled. I did not enjoy being a mum n didn't feel all that love for him. You get past it, its bloody hard, but u will get there. I found going to activitys helped.
I've been to the same baby group for 7 month now.

 

[pinkymum]

Hey hun,
Firstly you're doing a brilliant job this is hard work!!! I'm not at the crying stage yet but Emily has colic and everytime she goes to sleep I think "thank god" feel bad because I love her to bits, its hard not being able to soothe them

The girls have given you some great advice! Feel free to text me as well!

X

 

[kay126]

hey hun, the 6 weeks of my babies life i felt like this, it did get better though and everyweek things get easier. id say have a word with your other half first, let him know how your feeling, i never opened up to my OH and it meant i had relationship probs because i was just pushing him away. it does get better i promise x

 

[Crimson92]

Thanks girls, spoke to HV today, she said I don't have Pnd thankfully buy I am going through a rough patch and because I have mastitis it is really getting me down, so when OH comes in from work I go for a sleep and he is stopping football for a while cause sometimes nights can be the hardest time of day, sort of hit home with oH when I was rushed to hospital because I took an allergic reaction to my tablets that I need his help, because I got some gas and air it was like truth sereme and I started telling him everything! So that helps alot and I am getting there, I'm still struggling but giving myself things to look forward to, will be better when my mum gets back from
Her holiday aswell because I am used to seein her everyday, thanks for all your lovely advice and help girls it makes me feel alot less lonely and stupid,

Just makes me feel so guilty some times that I dont want to spend every second of my time on the baby and I do find myself getting really upset just because of that alone xx

 

[pinkymum]

Glad you spoke to your hv and OH. Sounds like its perfectly normal considering! We do need breaks to hun! Don't feel guilty! Hope you are feeling better soon!


x