Feel like crying!!!!

[KarolinaMoon]

Well, I dont know if this is really pregnancy related or not!! But I needed to get all this off my chest!!
Since becoming pregnant I have actually found my mood and my overall feeling of well being has improved!!! But today has to be the worst day I have experienced since becoming pregnant, and the only real link it has to my pregnancy is that I don't want to have to deal with this stress and upset whilst being pregnant!
Basically a women in my work is being a nasty B**** to me, and thinks it is 'fun' to question me excessively about my vegetarian diet, asking the same questions, asking do I eat this, do I eat that, and what do I eat. I have been patient, and provided all the answers she needs each time, but it is becoming ridiculous and really feels like bullying!!! I had to turn away from her today, as I felt I really couldnt cope anymore with the questioning and the jibes. I dont really understand why she is so intrigued by my diet, and really do think she gets a kick out of making jibes at me!! This has begun to really stress me out, and I left work in a real state today, crying on the way home! This can't be good for me or my baby, and having suffered a m/c in Oct, I just feel like I can't deal with the stress. Not sure what to do except ignore her, but she is downright rude, even when I took a phonecall today she started asking questions such as 'But Do you eat gravy', and this and that.....I really think she enjoys the poking and prodding.
Sorry to ramble on, but I am really upset

 

[Smithy1980]

Sorry to hear she's being such a b**** hun.....would you feel comfortable taking her to one side and having a word? You could tell her that you're busy and her constant asking of questions is not allowing you to get on! That way she won't necessarily see how upset you are (if she is trying to upset you)..... I'd then say that if it continues you will take it further!

Hope you get sorted hun and try not to let her get to you xxx


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[KarolinaMoon]

Tbh, Im not the most assertive person in the world, and the type of person she is she would start arguing with me if I pulled her aside. If I could find a way to ignore her when she starts it would be enough. Unfortuantely everything I have tried so far seems to make her worse!! Like when she asked (for the 100th time) but what do you have for xmas dinner?, and this time I replied 'food'...she turned to another girl in the office and said 'slap her across the face for me'. It really has gone beyond light hearted banter!! x

 

[mrz85]

tell her u r not happy how she treats you tell her she needs 2 stop it !!! what a silly women she is

 

[leesey]

I'm sorry but this is harrassment and needs to be reported. Bullying in the workplace cannot be tolerated, especially when you feel it's having an ill effect on your health and wellbeing. Just remember that bullying is not defined by whether or not the bully thinks they are doing harm, but by how the victim perceives it. You are perceiving this as negative and upsetting, which means it can't go on any longer, especially if you are worried about harming baby.
Report it officially through your work xx

 

[Maria1977]

OMG what a bitch! It's defo bullying/harrassment and you shouldn't have to put up with hun. Is there anyone at your work you can talk to about it? Is this woman equal or above you in position?

I know it's easy to say but please don't let her get to you, just think of her as pathetic and ignore her, don't even dignify her with a response.

 

[scribbins]

Totally agree with leesey. This is definite bullying, especially since she is trying to get someone else into her game. I know it's scary to confront somebody but usually bullies are weak themselves and if you were to say directly to her that you consider her comments bullying and will take matters further if she continues, then she might back off. Or have you tried 'why is it so important to you to know what i eat' and if she says 'xyz', you can keep asking 'yes, but why is it so important to you to know what i eat?'. If you keep that line up again and again hopefully she will get bored. Oooh, what a bitch...just want to slap her! She has no right to behave this way. Not only is it bullyinh, it is also discrimination. Xx

 

[tinselcat]

Hey karolina, i'm a vegan but noone's ever hassled me like this - it's completely out of order

Is there any way you can turn it around so the onus is on her - i think by answering questions you are continuing to play her game
E.g. retort something along the lines of
- why are you so interested - are you thinking of turning vegetarian?
- haven't you got anything better to do than ask me food questions every day?
- or, here's a link to a vegetarian website, it should answer all your queries, don't bother me about it any more

Wish i could be there to give her a piece of my mind! Hope you can snuff this harrassment out, it's possible she doesn't realise she's crossed a line where it used to be light-hearted but now is bullying.

Xx

 

[KarolinaMoon]

hey thanks ladies, I will try some of the things you have suggested. I always find when in the situation I can't think of anything to say, and its only afterwards when I am so upset and angry that I start to think of all the answers!! So frustrating. I am not very assertive in certain situations like this one, and I guess she probably picks up on this and thinks she can get away with it. The problem is that I am likely to publicly explode in her face some day, if she continues!!! I used to think she was perhaps just curious, but it has definitely gone beyond that, and you can see the glee all over her face when shes throwing her jibes. Am still stressed out about it and i left work 3 hours ago! Gona have a bath and see if I can chill out a bit for my sake and the babys!! xxxx

 

[scribbins]

A bath sounds like a good idea, hope you can chill a bit. X x x x

 

[CARNAT22]

God let me come to your work and deal with the woman - I'd take great pleasure!

If it were me (and I am a complete overassertive bitch when people get my back up!) I'd start taking the pi55 and telling her things like "I don't eat meat, just chicken", "I like my steaks rare" etc.....

Sorry I have no practical advice hun but try not to let it get to you!

xxxxxxxx

 

[KarolinaMoon]

lol thanks carnat....I wish I was more like that, but unfortunately I'm a complete softie!!! I'm probably easily wound up, I'm an emotional person at the best of times, and now I'm preg I'm even more sensitive!! lol
Just gona try n ignore her, she's not even worth being upset over, but easier said than done!!! x

 

[kra0]

She said 'slap her across the face for me'??? Wtf!! I'm only down the road, shall I come to your work tmo and slap HER for you? How rude, she def sounds like a total bully. Could u mention to a manager who could say they overheard or something?xxxx

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[KarolinaMoon]

Kra,

I know, totally out of order, but knowing the way these people work, she will just say she was only 'joking'...
Was thinking of saying to my manager, but I dont want to go to him all wound up and emotional and come across like a jibbering wreck lol. At same time I dont want her to get away with it!! On a positive note, I think I felt wee flutters in my tummy tonight!!! Not 100% certain it is movements, but was nice to feel and cheered me up a bit!!! Thank you bump!! lol xxx

 

[kra0]

Aww I've been feeling flutters too only every now and again though!

Maybe next time she has a go say something like 'are you thinking of becoming vegitarian cos you sure as hell never stop quizzing me about it!' Xxxx

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[KarolinaMoon]

lol, thats a good response kra!!! I'll try n keep that in my head for next time!!! I keep remembering the nasty comments she made to me, and it's really angering me!!! I have just remembered she referred to me to others in the office as 'vegetarian pinocchio' (insinuating that I am somehow lying about being a vegetarian??!!??). WTF!!! Why I didnt punch her in the face there and then I dont know!!! GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[Jayjay027]

Its time to stop being soft. The reason she continues to do it is because you're being soft.

If u don't want to confront her, you should speak to a manager about it! She shouldn't be allowed to get away with it any longer! Complete bitch!
Don't allow yourself to be bullied! Its only going to get worse if you allow it to continue!
U and ur LO don't need that stress hun.

Please promise us that tomorrow ull tackle the situation (if not her lol)
I'd have bitch slapped her by now!

Ugh this made me so angry that I actually want to punch her in the mouth! Lol. X

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[jacy90]

Ergh, this is disgusting! Why are there people out there that think its ok to make others feel like this, especially as ur pregnant! You definately need to talk to your manager about it. I agree with all the other ladies and this is bullying, don't let it carry on!
Please keep us updated with how you are and what happens! Good luck

 

[beckybean]

Hey hun

I agree with the others; this is a form of bullying and must be reported to your manager. I am not a great fan of confrontation as I annoyingly get tearful when what I really want to do is get angry therefore face to face just doesn't work; can you sit down tonight at home with some chocolate by your side and write out an email to your manager with specific issues you have about the situation i.e. when it started, what she says and definitely include the piece about her telling a colleague to slap you accross the face.
Once it is reported your company has to act on it and if she gets worse at least you can confidently go back to your manager to continually report it.

You don't need any extra stresses when growing baby! x

 

[babyem]

She sounds like a cowbag!! x