Feel as though im being judged

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by scaredmum2be, Jan 7, 2012.

  1. scaredmum2be

    scaredmum2be Well-Known Member

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    I used to be in foster care from the age of 11 till 18 but officially off social services at aged 21. So ive had them most my life i know how they work.
    Yes my mum didnt bring me up properly but now im older and ive got 1 child im protective and do my up most best to make sure he has everything from clean bum to high priced pressies u name it.

    I bath change clothe feed play all the things you do with your child and then u get a bombshell there telling me there guna do me an assesment on me and my hubby on how we treat Tristan hes 18 months old so theyve had every opputunity to come in an check up on me but they havent until now!

    They will be coming out to me every wednesday to make sure i feed him bathe him etc... Im now guna feel i cant tell him off for being a little naughty by climbing because i know how social services tick.

    When he was younger me and hubby didnt bond straight away or because we was new parents i felt like i wasnt doing things right as its all new and the health visitor put down im vunerable person been in care myself and i have been abused in the care system so they failed me!!.

    The say because ive been in care and been abused they think Tristan could be at risk for neglect!!! I now guna feel like im monitored in trying to deal with my own son. Ive had social workers before and theyve twisted and turn words of what i didnt mean.

    When my healthvisitor came out once she told me to remove our diningroom table because tristan may bang his head on it so we did so and then in a meeting she made out she didnt say a thing like that she making me out to be a right liar so i put it back in again i wanted it there all along but because she said i needed to take it out and i was refusing she would say if u didnt sort this room 1 room out she would get in touch with care services and would take my child away. Im sure my health visitor hates me.

    People are guna say to me social know what there talking about but im not a nasty person i dont treat tristan bad. I know they do things since baby P thing has come out but i honestly feel im judged at all angles i let them in to my house no problem as ive had social when i was younger but i also know how social tick making me feel usless as a mother an im upset and down about it all :( xx sorry needed someone to talk to xx
     
  2. cosmicgirl

    cosmicgirl Well-Known Member

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    Didn't want to read and run :hugs:
    I hope they can see what a great mum you are, sorry you feel down :hugs: xxx
     
  3. Binzy

    Binzy Well-Known Member

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    I don't know anything about social services (luckily) but I think any mum would feel like you do and worry.
    Hope it turns out well for you x
     
  4. scaredmum2be

    scaredmum2be Well-Known Member

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    I have a meeting at the end of January between health visitor and social worker on the last meeting my social worker didnt show up where as if i didnt turn up or didnt move something they wanted to they'll turn on me like a tone of bricks. They expect me to drop everything and when they dont do what there suppose to there like sorry been so busy i never complain how late theyve been or anything. Got a big meeting in feb i think it is, there draining me out xx
     
  5. ZMD

    ZMD Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear there doing this Hun but im sure they'll see your a fantastic mum :hugs: xx
     
  6. Esoames

    Esoames Well-Known Member

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    I work in children's services in a local government and it'll be preventative. There will be other ladies and men in a similar situation who are vulnerable and need a little watching over to make sure the children aren't at risk.

    They have a duty of care to prevent children getting hurt, and if there is a history in the family it's usually followed up.

    You know you are an amazing mum, act normally, maybe have a witness if you like, maybe a friend who can back you up if necessary.

    Try not to worry, easier said than done but it's nothing you've done wrong it's just stopping history repeating itself xxxxx


     
  7. scaredmum2be

    scaredmum2be Well-Known Member

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    Tomorrow's the day the un qualified social worker comes out to see us tomorrow the joys! I wonder how many sessions of her checking up on me will last for xx
     
  8. pinkyprincess

    pinkyprincess Well-Known Member

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    Really hope it went well!


     
  9. scaredmum2be

    scaredmum2be Well-Known Member

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    Well she came out today and i thought she was coming round to assess Tristan but she got paper work out and started asking questions felt like a therapy session about both mine and hubbys past. She said she might be coming round one or twice a week! I was that worried lastnight about today and i had a bad night mare :(. Think stress usually makes me sleep bad x
     
  10. LuW

    LuW Well-Known Member

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    Oh darling!! Didn't want to read and run!! And tbh I'm disgusted at their behaviour but am not truely shocked by it.

    I know my local Social Services find it amusing to leave people an awful long time when they should be being seen and then pester the hell out of people where it was clearly a hate call made against a poor young mother who was working with sure start already and being the best mum they can! Thats my local SS anyway and I've had plenty of dealings with them working in the care sector. Always having to give statements on families that didn't actually need any more then the help they got from the company I worked for and we all had a pager to report things as soon as it happened. But families that we had on top watch and you really had to be very careful with they never bothered going around =/


    CUDDLES xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  11. babyem

    babyem Well-Known Member

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    Hope things go ok for you :) xx
     
  12. GoldenDragon

    GoldenDragon Well-Known Member

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    Hope things go well for you hun :hug:
     

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