fed up of being treated like a slave!!!

[catswiskers]

I hope I've posted this is the right place but I really need a rant right now!!!!
I'm married with 3 kids and pregnant with the 4th.
I'm completely and utterly fed up of my home life!!
the kids treat the house like a dump and my hubby isn't much better!!
yeah he works all day but would it really hurt him to lift a bloody finger to help me out?!
I keep telling him I'm really struggling to cope with everything. The kids are 7,5 and 3 they don't seem to know what a bin is everything gets chucked on the floor. No matter how much I pick up after them its like they go around after me making a mess again.
I keep asking my hubby if now and again can he at least offer to bath the kids, put a load of washing on or at least wash up...anything to help anything at all but he wont.
I'm feeling so depressed about it at the moment especially knowing it will be more hard work once the baby comes.
I need some kind of routine can anyone give me some advice? How do you cope? Do you get the kids to help do little jobs?

 

[Mrs M]

We don't really have a routine. But I do one room per day, so the house is nearly always clean - although not tidy! I iron twice per week for around an hour each time, so it never gets the chance to build up really bad. Do your older children get pocket money? I make my almost 5 year old tidy all the toys away every day to earn her pocket money. At least when the kids are in bed my floor is clear so I can run the hoover over it! So I'm not rushing the next morning I have everything ready the night before. As for your OH, he really needs to be helping out. My hubby works away 3 days per week so I'm on my own a lot of the time and it is way easier when he is not around cos he's a really untidy person, but he does bath the kids occasionally, he grabs milk if we need it, and he can do bed time or cook sometimes. Have a word with him, ask him if he understands how difficult it is for you to keep on top of everything and maybe he could do a couple of jobs a couple of times per week?

 

[catswiskers]

he does always put the kids to bed every night but that's all he does.
we've just had a conversation about it and I'm going to start giving the kids pocket money for tidying up after themselves and he's agreed to help more with bathing and do a couple of loads of washing every week. I know what he's like it wont last but I'm so fed up of it getting me down.

 

[CharlotteH24]

Try a rota with gold stars for each one they do and then find a suitable reward like the ones who all their chores all week get to go to the park or go swimming, etc at the weekend.
Just simple things like picking up their toys, helping to dry and put things away after they've been washed or just go around dusting. Have them make their own beds and ask them to put their own clothes away after they've been ironed. Just simple things which will help a little bit.

 

[jalaney]

I know this may be a temporary solution, but it may help if you get someone to help around the house for a couple of hours a week with small tasks. If you try advertising for some small jobs on gumtree or something similar, for a price you're comfortable with, you may get a reply or two from some cash strapped students.
If you can look past the cost for a few weeks, lightening your household workload and giving yourself some time to put your feet up for a handful of hours a week will lift your mood and hopefully let you get some time to yourself.
And if your hubby doesn't like the expenses? Maybe if he helped out some more they wouldn't be necessary!!

 

[MrsG81]

My boys are 8 and 5 and they have to make their beds, pick up toys and make sure dirty clothes are in the basket and do their homework on time if they want their pocket money (£2 each a week).

My 8 year old has also started asking if he can do the washing up for extra pocket money so when there isn't too much to wash (like after breakfast on a Saturday, no pans etc) I will let him wash up for 50p.