Fed up, feeling down but then I can't help be happy too

[CustardCream]

Its my fella thats making things worse as he's usually in a mood!! He works and I don't that isnt the issue as I worked until recently but couldnt work while pregnant and I used to be making more money than him. Now I've stopped we have got less money as I'm only claming JSA, he just fucking gets me down and sick of him moaning were skint while he's driving round in his posh BMW. We own our house but obviously still pay the moragage and were trying to sell it at the moment. Just sick of having NO money, he's the one who spends all the money not me. He smokes obviously I don't, he uses the car to get to work, get a takeaway for lunch from sandwich places everyday, pays a fortune to park when he could just use public transporrt if we were really that skint. We do pay alot out for debt every month. Sorry everyone just needed a moan, my parents live 2 hours away and I just need a cuddle as I'm sick of him moaning. I cook, clean (everyday as I am VERY obsessive) wash and make sure everythings as nice as it can be. I can't be down and let things bother me as much as it bothers him as long as we pay MOST things and when I feel a new life moving inside me how the hell can I be in a mood? I just need a cuddle and to not be moaned at everyday

 

[Monkey]

If I could send you a hug I would (this will have to do) I hope you can get him to see how he is making you feel. I know I am new here but If you ever need to talk, I will be happy to listen.

Money issues and other halves have always been an issue with me, my ex's parents tried to rule our finances and it ended up being an extra nail in the coffin with our marriage.

 

[CustardCream]

Thanks hun, I just do need a hug lol. I'm new too so its all good. I just can't handle how money takes over everything and you must feel the same if it broke your marriage. Weve been together now for 5 years and now I actually dread him coming home from work. I've not got many friends really so I'm lonley all of the time. I know things would be easier on my own. How did you cope with your marriage ending? xxx

 

[Monkey]

You sound exactly how I did back then. I had been with him a total of 8 years, married for 2. We bought a house together when I was just 17 (he was 24) and his father wasn't too happy about that. They (both In Laws) started running out lives and didn't let me have any say in what was allowed in the house or even at our wedding. We had to show our statements to them and explain any non bill expenses. I tried to talk to him about it and other things. He said he would change, but that never happened. Things got worse and I said one day it was over and left that very night and slept on a friends lounge. I was happy with the seperation but his father kept threatening to track me down and drag me back so I ended up getting severe depression. I lost a lot of friends because they didn't understand. Now I am half way round the world and have no friends or family apart from in laws to talk to.

I have told my current husband (right choice second time round ) that I have issues with talking about money and he is great with it and understands why I get upset when we talk about it too much.

You shouldn't have to put up with feeling how you do about him. Talk to him and just say straight out that things need to change. I don't want to see anyone go through what I went through.

 

[CustardCream]

OMG what an awful experience you had!! Thats awful, I can't believe they looked at your statements. I can't believe he let them look. You were very young at 17 though so maybe he took advantage of that aswell. His parents sound crazy. Money is a very private issuse with most people and most wont admit when they are in trouble. Friends are never any good and I don't really believe I've ever had a true friend who just listens in all my life. He just doesnt listen its totally pointless talking to him. I know it will break my parents and his hearts if we break up and that is actually my main worry. I'll cope with a baby on my own. I'm glad your happy now maybe you can inspire me xx