My hubby is very similar. Since we found out he's out a lot and drinking a lot too. I have bad hyperemesis and he says being at home is miserable, cheeky sod! The bottom line with lots of men is that they are used to thinking about themselves and how what's going on affects them before they think of others. My husband would be the first to admit that! Last week I got on the phone to my mum and had a big old rant about what a tool he was being! It helps to talk to someone else.
I love my husband dearly but thinking about others first or empathising with someone over something he cannot experience is totally beyond him! Just find someone who you can have the occasional rant to in confidence, think about his good points and ignore his selfishness. He'll be adjusting to the bombshell that he feels has just hit him! Keep your chin up, I know it sucks.
If he's anything like my oh then trying to talk to him, esp when he's had a couple will get you nowhere. You'll only feel more frustrated and resentful towards him.
