****February 2019 Mamas****

[Pennypie]

I’m rubbish at stuff like that, so well done giving it a go.

Luckily I have a sister, mum and mum in law who love crocheting and knitting so I have cardigans, blankets and toys coming out of my ears!! They have made so many they are now starting on stuff for my friend who they’ve never met, but is due the week after i am. Ha. x

 

[Donna88]

I really wish I'd done more; I planned on doing loads when we got pregnant but I was so tired in the first trimester it just didn't happen.

Oh well; she's not going without we have bought loads. I ordered a fabric panel but need to decide what I'm doing with it. Whether I'm just going to order a fleece backing to do a bit of a lazy blanket or whether I should buy some matching fabric and do a bit of a patchwork border on it and do a quilt. I've seen some Christmas stuff I'd love to get as well but seems a bit silly buying stuff to make a Christmas blanket now.

Got my scan appointment through and talking to husband about whether he should come or not; he'd have to cover 3 lessons if he came and we're not sure if it's worth it for him or not. Yes it would be nice for him to be there and see her; and also to be there for talking about what our options are as well. However if she doesn't turn he won't give his opinion on what we should do; he'll just tell me to do whatever I feel comfortable with which is sweet in a way but annoying in another as it's his baby too and I would like to know what he thinks. Also if she doesn't turn and we do decide to let a doctor try and turn her I'd rather he was there for that and I think we'd both want to book the full day off for that in case it leaves me feeling really uncomfortable and if there's any complications from it as well. His work are quite good and I don't think they'd mind him taking both appointments off; but we don't want to look like we're taking the mess.

How are you all feeling this weekend?

 

[Kholl]

I can knit but it takes me SO LONG. I've been working on a wool blanket for my mother-in-law for over 2 years... was planning on giving it to her for Christmas 2016! I'll be lucky if it's done by 2020 at this rate.

My due date is one month from today. I spent the morning in l&d with reduced movements. Baby looked great on the monitor, and of course (s)he started moving once we were in the car on our way to l&d. Still, I'm very glad for the reassurance. The midwife who was there, though, was very intense about wanting me to get induced at 40 weeks cause I'm over 35. She said when you're over 35 your placenta is essentially a week older so 40 weeks is more like 41...??? I don't know. I get tired of all the fear-mongering about being over 35, there's so much pushiness and it just increases stress for us moms and feels so overbearing and unnecessary!

 

[Donna88]

Sounds like you've not had the best of days; glad everything is okay with little one.

I agree with you; it's all scare mongering. Don't stress about it and go along with what you feel is right. What is your midwife recommending.

Wow a month until your due date; that's exciting, tomorrow will be a month until the time we have a c-section if it ends up being a planned one. That feels a bit weird with it all still being so much up in the air though.

 

[Kholl]

Thanks Donna - yeah it was such a scary morning, and then I was so relieved baby looks great, but now I am in this surly mood I just can't seem to shake. I am feeling SO overwhelmed by stuff and clutter and our tiny space and everything I want to get done, and worry about how I will cope with 4, and then at the same time not wanting to go overdue (mostly just to avoid the stupid docs/hospital getting pushy with me!), my mind is spinning and I'm getting frustrated with how difficult everything feels. Our room is an absolute pig sty at the moment, since I've been pulling out all kinds of things and trying to sort them and figure out what to keep and what to put away, but we need to go to IKEA to get a few storage bins and supplies and we can't do that until next weekend... we just can't cram 6 people into this little 2-bedroom space for much longer! I don't know, I'm having a very hard time relaxing. I wish it were easier (or even felt possible!) to be a minimalist with multiple little kids!

I see my midwife on Tuesday and will see what she says. And I'd say have your husband with you at that appointment. I think it'll make a big difference long-term, while missing his work won't make as big a difference long-term... if that makes sense! Good luck, Donna- what day is the appointment?

 

[Donna88]

Easier said than done I know; but try not to stress. I'm sure everything will be okay. Ikea is amazing for storage solutions.

My appointment is not this week; but the following Wednesday. I asked husband how he feels about the procedure to move baby and he said he doesn't like the sound of it to be honest. I'll see what the doctor and midwives say at my appointment though. It's annoying as the timing of the scan means I need to contact my midwife and rearrange my appointment with her as it's about the same time; but we knew that would start happening eventually.

I just kind of want this month done with now as I'm so ready to just meet our little girl.

I've got so many ideas for what I want to make suddenly too though haha - I've ordered a fabric panel and need to decide what exactly I'm doing with it and I've decided to be good and make sure I use some of the fabric I already have for others projects (although I will need to buy some bits just for finishing them off) so it's still expensive and I'll have to crack on with them this month as once she's here I won't have as much time to be doing things.

 

[Kholl]

Thanks Donna, you're right - it's all good stuff in the end, being able to organize and re-think things and ultimately discuss having a bigger space. We are just in the middle of it right now and that hormonal urge to have the environment pristine before baby comes is really overwhelming!

This month will be over so fast, like all months seem to be now that I'm an adult (and especially now that I'm a mom!), and then our babies will arrive before we know it. I am really, really looking forward to meeting this sweet new member of our family, and yet also feel like I want lots of time to savor the 3 I already have and fine-tune our home systems and layout as much as I can.

 

[Donna88]

You'll manage to do all 3 at once. It's amazing what us parents manage

I was reading last night that some hospitals will do a section when your earliest baby was born; I don't think that will be the case with mine but I'm hoping not as well as 37 weeks just seems too early. Especially now I've spoken to more and more people who have had sections before the 39 week mark and all of them have had problems even if they have been small ones. They've all had issues with feeding and weight gain. I don't know if it's just a coincidence or what

 

[Puglover]

Morning ladies,
I'm feeling terrible this morning. I haven't slept well for days. I was in bed for 4 hours last night trying to fall asleep again with leg cramps and insomnia. I've been like it each night and it's taking it's toll. I dont know what else I can do! I'm a zombie today and snapping at everybody. Perhaps it's my body prepping and anxieties creeping in? Anybody else struggling like this? It's getting ridiculous now.

My midwife also talked about induction at 40 wks as I am 40!
I really don't want to be forced into labour either. Why would our bodies get pregnant if it wasn't natural to manage it?! Me being naive perhaps but that's how I feel.

I didn't manage to knit much this time, but ive been sewing instead and made a blanket with cotton print one side and simple fleece on the other! Also some neck scarves/bibs and hats. Nice and quick.

I'm also sorting out storage for the new house which we move into on Fri! I home educate so need to get straight on with that side of things though it will be difficult these next few months!

Happy Sunday to everyone. I will surely be napping later.

 

[Donna88]

Yeah that's my plan with at least one of the blankets I want to make; would also like to make some bibs and headbands and maybe some little taggie blankets too. Will see how I get on. I sorted out our craft room/office this morning and had a nose at what fabric I have. I have lots of scraps, fat quarters and half meters so would def need to buy some backing fabric whatever I decide to do blanket wise.


Sorry you're struggling with sleep; I'm not getting much sleep but doesn't sound as bad as yours hopefully soon you'll be so tired your body will just give in at night and let you get a decent night. I don't know what to suggest to help at all.

I don't understand why they're saying at 40 weeks for you guys, if they're saying that you're "technically" a week ahead surely they should be looking at inducing at 41 weeks. That feels a bit more comfortable for giving things a chance to happen naturally surely.

I'm not 100% on what goes on at the moment, husband and I were talking when we first got pregnant and saying how a lot more people seem to have c-sections than ever. I don't know if it's just the people we know or what. I know one of my friends who had a breech baby and she seems under the impression that they never gave her the option of a natural birth, they just told her it would be a section. Whereas I'd heard in the past that a section was just an option and you chose which you wanted to go for when babies were breach. The others we've known have all been emergency sections once labour had started. But we know more people in the past 10 years who have had c-sections than natural births. I was threatened with one with my boy; but I refused it... so I wonder if it's more they say it and if there's no arguments they let you go for a natural (as long as the problem isn't something that def requires a section)

 

[Donna88]

It just seems odd as at my antenatal classes they were saying they are trying to move away from medical births again (as it had got to the point where the done thing was women went into the hospital and were given an epidural) but all I hear about is medical intervention either through inductions or c-sections.

 

[Puglover]

I bet it's a liability thing Donna with sections, my SIL who was in charge at hospital said they do the section to be safer if breech. I think it should be choice though definitely.

In just looking at cloth nappies, and I'd love to try them but not sure if cost effective, as I wouldn't use them all the time? Has anyone used them with experience here?

 

[Pennypie]

Hi all. I’m also having the sleep issue at the moment, seem to have one night with a full night and then the next I’m awake at 2:30am and that’s it, no more sleep for me.

Last night I made it to 3am but think I’ve got that stupid cold that’s going round so just had a massive headache and sore throat all night and kept coughing. Just managed a little nap now but feel totally drained. At least I only have half a day tomorrow as at the midwife in the afternoon.

I was told that in the US they seem to be pushing cs as standard and you have to kick off to get a natural labour.

They’ve said they will let me go a week over due to her size, but I’m 36 and they haven’t said anything about my age once. xx

 

[Donna88]

I haven't used them but we are going to be giving them a go. We bought ours from ebay; found some brand new ones and we got... I can't remember how many but it's what they say you need (although if we get on with them I think I'd buy more) with 2 inserts each for £60.

People who we've spoken to who've used them love them. Someone I work with uses them most of the time but will use disposable when out. Personally I'm open to this option however I would prefer to go all out and if I'm using them use them all the time. We will see though I just plan on being open minded with it. We've been gifted some newborn nappies which is actually really handy as they'll be better for the hospital bag and also the nappies are meant to fit through out but depending on how big she is when she's born I'm not convinced they'd fit her early on.


That makes sense, to be honest I was always dead set against having a section however now my view is more if there's a higher risk when having a natural birth I'd rather not take it. Much better to have a planned section than an emergency one.

 

[Donna88]

Are we all having talks about either inductions or sections then? Seems to be a high proportion of us at least.

 

[Kholl]

I have used cloth diapers with all of my kids, and have trialed many, many kinds. To me, these are by FAR the best:

Cloth-eez Workhorse Diapers

you can find them on eBay, they last like crazy. You can throw them in the regular wash, too. They are thick cotton prefolds, but with snaps and the right shape that they just snap on like microfiber ones with inserts. They are sooo convenient and easy to use and I'm now about to use the same set for my third baby and they're like new.

I then use disposables (seventh generation, or bambo nature usually) for overnight or when we're out for long periods of time.

It really is frustrating to be faced with the induction/csection talk all the time. It is a huge downside to the medicalized nature of birth (in hospitals, anyway). Liability changes how doctors think about these things, as does their natural tendency towards a disease model. I feel like I'm being actively encouraged to NOT trust my body! We work so hard for years to trust our instincts and our bodies and it feels like the medical approach discourages that with such vehemence. It's hard to take.

Furthermore, when I went in yesterday, one of the major things the nurse said was that it's good to get checked out if you're nervous because when you're worried your body floods with stress hormones, and that's not good for mom or baby. And then the doctors constantly bombard you with this scare-mongering nonsense, and I'm like, WHY are you stressing me out?!? When you JUST said stress hormones aren't good for the baby???

It really feels like care providers take advantage of the fact that a woman is worried and vulnerable, and they see a way to push their own agenda because it's easy. Nothing is more precious than our child(ren), and so they know that all they have to do is play the safety-of-the-baby card and we'll bend to the doc's wishes. It's deeply upsetting. It's why I seriously considered paying out-of-pocket for a birth center this time. Obviously we decided against that for various reasons... but it's still on my mind, like, if I were at the birth center I wouldn't be dealing with this nonsense...

I don't mean to say that doctors are deliberately malicious or selfish in their intents. I truly believe that the vast majority of them believe they are doing what's right and safest for mothers and babies, and I respect and value their experience and opinions. But it is really, really frustrating (not to mention infantilizing!) to feel like I am a number who has to be managed.

The advanced maternal age thing is so dumb too - the data is mostly from the 1600s or something absurd, and most providers don't seem to take into account all the other risk factors. Like, if I were 36 AND had gestational diabetes AND had some other risk factor, I'd be much more on board with the talks of intervention. But I'm in better shape now than I've been in my life! I feel as well, if not better, this pregnancy as I have with any of the others! All my numbers are consistently great, baby looks great, I don't see why they can't talk to me as an individual instead of as another "old mom".

All that said, I do adore and trust the midwife I see the majority of the time - I see her Tuesday and will go over all this with her. I only pray she'll be the one at the hospital when I go into labor!

 

[Kholl]

Oh and Puglover, insomnia is something I've dealt with all my life, but it's worst when I'm pregnant. I really, truly feel for you. I have been taking high-ish (not too high, but like double) doses of iron (I love the Gaia liquid iron), vitamin d3/k2, and magnesium. It does seem to be helping. I hope you find some relief before baby gets here, it's just brutal.

 

[Gemsy]

I was induced at 4 days overdue due to pre eclampsia with my first. I am desperate to avoid another induction! My BP is behaving so far but it didn't start to increase until 36 weeks last time, so we will see. I've tried to rest a lot more this time round and I have also been on aspirin since 12 weeks so hopefully all will be well this time.

I'm carrying a lot lower this time and baby already partly engaged according to my midwife (I'm 33 weeks) so I'm hoping things may kick off a little easier this time!

I'm also 36 and no one has mentioned my age in relation to induction....I think our NHS trust has a policy to try and reduce interventions and csections though.

 

[Gemsy]

ooops....I'm actually 37!!!!!

 

[Kholl]

Gemsy, one of my close friends had pre-eclampsia with her first, and her midwife assured her that it's very unlikely to happen a second time (don't know the reasons for that, but there you go!).