family member pregnant

[trigger]

grrrr, I have so many mixed emotions about this - my brother and sister in law who I love, love, love are pregnant! I am so pleased for them but I also feel a bit like, well jealous I guess.
Although I suppose I am going to be an aunt which is something, think will be the cool aunt!!...

 

[mum2be?]

I can be hard hunny my aunt told everyone is she pregnant and i am happy for her, but baby is due a week after when my baby that i lost is due

 

[Anna B]

My sister in law's baby is due just 3 days before my baby was due, and I'm dreading it, I haven't even seen her since Oliver was born, so I don't know how I'm going to react.
I can totally sympathis with how you are feeling, if you are worrind that you will get upset at seeing her, then don't go for a bit, or if you think she will understand, tell her how you feel (I know my SIL would understand).

Being an Auntie is great though! I have 2 nephews, 3 neices, 2 foster neices and another nephew on the way, and they all think I'm cool (if only they knew!!).

 

[trigger]

Thanks guys, I kow I will be fine with it all just not looking forward to my parents getting all excited about their first grandchild.
But yup, very happy about the aunt bit.
x

 

[sunshine_gal]

Aaah, i know how you feel love.. My sister had 4 kids by 4 different blokes and it feels like when she decides she wants a baby she'll just go and get pregnant and i get married and do things a little different and its taken me 8 months so far and still no luck..

I do like being an aunt tho just cant wait till its my turn to be a mum...

 

[Chrissy1]

I know that feeling well hunni!!!

My cousin who got married a month after me has now told me she's going to try for another baby!!!! she's already got two so I bet she'll be pregnant before I am!

 

[jenna]

my sister and 2 of my cousins have been trying for a baby longer than me and i dread the day one of them gets pregnant (i know that sounds awful). I will be over the moon for them but it'll be so hard for us both as well.

 

[sunshine_gal]

My best mate started trying in June and fell pregnant in her first month too and she's just had her 12 week scan and is so exited and i cant help feeling soooooo jealous, i hate feeling this way too...I would just like to be exited for her but i cant and when i see her baby bump growing i just feel like crying... Im sure it will happen one day as everyone keeps telling me but it took my cousin 7 years so whats saying it wont take me 7 years too..... booo.....

Im going to try not to think about it to much over this next month and see what happens...

 

[sunshine_gal]

I think we all feel the same way dont we, i will till we fall... it sucks eh!!

 

[tiggerstacy]

Hi all,

I just read the thread and wanted to let you all know that you are quite right to feel like this, my SIL fell 2 weeks after me but lost it at 8 weeks, she then fell again but at 9 weeks found out that the sack was empty, I know it has been really hard for her with me and her brother expecting at the same time, we do understand how she must be feeling but we also have to be excited about our baby at the same time. My MIL had to hide the 4D scan we had done from her which actually hurt me but I guess that it must be difficult for her bring in the middle.

It is hard sometimes and it can be a little awkward but you will work things out, just remember they will be feeling awkward too.

I don't mean to offend anyone with this just wanted to say that we all need to think about others as well as ourselves we are family at the end of the day.

 

[Becs]

OOooooo glad to see this thread and how many other people feel the same. We just found out that friends of ours are preggers. They are known amongst our friends as being rather smug about life but I was astonished when DH told me she spent the whole night telling him how to get pregnant in a very condescending way. They know how long we have been trying and though I don't think she knows about our M/C but sheeesh! Some people have the sensitivity of a shark!!

 

[Little miss pink]

I know how you feel , i've got it from both angles when makes me feel really bad........ Firstly I've got my Brother-in-law and his wife who are expecting and because me and my H2B are the youngest we're the last to do everything... egt a house, get married and as petty as it sounds i wanted to be the first in something (i.e give parents a grandchild) so i was a bit the green eyed monster when they annouced it. Also a friend is also expecting too and then the jealousy got worse ( which brought out a really evil side to me i didn't like ).

But on the other side i have a close work colleague who has been trying for 5 years with lots of MC's and is now 42 so she thinks its not going to happen! and my stepbrother and sister have been trying for 10 years and numerous (approx 9) failed ivf treatments so if i ever do get a BFP i'm dreading having to tell them because i know how they'll feel!

Understanding is the key to all of it i think - i understand how they must feel and people should understand how i must feel etc etc

 

[Misslarue]

Just wanted to add a view from the other side. As I have been on both sides of the barrel, I know how hard it is.
We tried for nearly 2 and a half years before finally conceiving. I watched friends and loved ones get pregnant and have babies and although I longed for it too, I never felt jealous of them, just thought 'why wasn't it me?' It does bother me now though that most of them went out of their way to spare my feelings when really they wanted to jump for joy at their happy news
My brother and his OH had been trying for just over a year when I finally caught and we were well aware that telling them would be hard. But we were wrong, it was awful. My SIL who I love so much left the room in tears with my brother following after her. We sat on our own feeling what I can only describe as utter sh1t. It was as if my own 30 months of misery no longer counted. It really put a wedge through my family and made everyone, including my brother feel uncomfortable.
It took my SIL quite a while to finally meet my son and although things are a lot better (they still haven't conceived ) there are still some awkward moments. The ironic thing is I am the one who understands how she feels the most as I know what she is going through
I guess what I am trying to say is, if they know you are TTC they are probably all too aware of your feelings and feel just as bad/awkward as you do.