Family breakup advice

[kellysomer]

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:49 pm Post subject: Family breakup advice


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Ok so my husband was married before and his son (my step son) lives between us and his mum. His mum is going through a break up at the moment with her partner whom she had a child with, now a couple of years old.

I am worried that my step son might get upset (when he realises whats going on - he hasnt yet) as he was only tiny when his mum and dad split up. This will be the 2nd break up he has been through in his not quite 7 years. My husband and i are very happliy married and so he has a loving dad, step mum (me) and his lovely mum but is losing his 'step dad' he has a step sibling with me and his dad and a step sibling with his mum.

I know that he is clever and want to make things easy for him. We can have him any time we are needed so thats easy and i get on with DH ex wife so thats easy.

Any ideas on how to explain to him incase he confides in us before his mum breaks the news. (oh and he doesnt know about this baby yet we didnt want to add another thing in the equasion)? Or any tips on making life easy in general? Hope this makes sense its hard to explain.


Ps dont want to add names and ages incase anyone knows us.

 

[Squiglet]

Offer him lots of love, patience and understanding... he is going to probably get aggressive sometimes, because he has all these feelings he can't express or cope with constructively and he will get frustrated... Be firm, but also caring... he's only little and doesn't really understand. Even adults go off the rails with these kinds of issues, you can't expect a kid to be any better.

Be there for him... If he confides in you, just be honest.. He might want to stay more at your house for a while as you are offering him a safe and secure environment which he isn't getting from his mum atm. This means you are more likely to get the brunt end of his emotions, but my mum always says you always most hurt the ones you most love.

It's probably going to be hard for a while, but at the end of the day, there will be a young man who will appreciate all the hard work you have put into him and his life.