Expecting my second child but so emotional - help!

[Sunnyb]

How did everyone feel when they were expecting their 2nd child? I absolutely adore my little boy & after nearly dying in childbirth I thought we'd never have anymore. As an only child myself I wanted brothers & sisters, but it never happened. My son is now 5 years old & this year we decided to try for another, as I'd always wanted more than one. I have recently found out I'm pregnant & I am such a mixture of emotions. I keep wondering if it will ruin the relationship I'll have with my little boy. Will he hate me for having another? Will I end up favouring one child over another? How will I love another the way I love my little boy? What if I have problems giving birth again? What if I get post natal depression again? I'm happy, but sad at the same time.
Am I going mad? Did anyone else or does anyone else feel like me?

Sorry to waffle on!

Sunnyb xxx

 

[skimpy]

Hi, cant offer any advice, only that i share your feelings. Had a right old blub the other day thinking about what little time i have left with my son before it is all change. of course i am happy to be expecting, we were lucky in that we are getting another one, and with an age gap we thought would be good. and two boys...it couldnt be better...plenty time for a girl later on.

My son is such a good child, self-sufficient in his play, wants to help, good vocabulary, perfect. worried that he will take badly to his little brother, terrified that i wont cope with two and no family nearby, scared that i wont be able to do a good job with the new baby, and worried that i cant be lucky twice and have two good little boys!!!!

mind in total overdrive feeling exactly what you are feeling right now!

some people think you are more relaxed and prepared second time round, but for me it has opened a whole new set of dilemas!!!

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I cried when I fell pregnant with my 2nd even though we were trying!! I thought my daughter would think I wouldn't love her anymore or I wouldn't love another child as much but my daughters thrilled to be having a little brother!! I still get scared now because everythings going to change in our family in a couple of weeks, I'm so used to just the 3 of us and now it's like there's gonna be someone else in our threesome!
Have you told your son? I bet he'll be over the moon though!!

 

[Sunnyb]

Thank you! I thought I was alone in my feelings & that I was a bad parent for feeling like this. I'm the same - excited one minute & bawling the next.
You are right too, it's not easier the 2nd time around either.

Sunnyb xxx

 

[mumofmany]

Oh i rememeber how i felt getting pregnant with my 2nd, but i can tell you now you will have the love for both, and from experience its you that ends up feeling left out not the child, not in the beginning as my eldest ignored my daughter when she was born. but when i had my 5th i had to get up half an hour early before getting the kids ready for school because my youngest daughter wanted to help get baby dressed and do his nappy every morning, and i let her with me there she was 4 at the time cause i didn't want her to feel pushed out or jealous in any way. my 3rd and 4th go to my eldest 2 aswell, i have woke up in the morning and the 2 girls are in bed together and the 2 boys are in bed together all snuggled up and where am I, in bed with no snuggles. but the joy you get when you watch them playing together and having a partner is crime to get up to mischeif with is priceless. I am 1 of 5 and we are still close now and and so are all the cousins so its really nice.

 

[Sunnyb]

Thanks mumofmany. I am just concerned that I've left it too long. My son will be nearly 6 when our 2nd child arrives & I'm not sure he'll be that close to his brother/sister. I guess as I'm conscious of this I will make a real effort to bring them up without favouritism & hopefully they'll love each other!
The other thing that's making me sooooo scared is that baby number two is due on my sons original due date. So I'm hoping it's not going to tempt any fate. As I said I nearly died in childbirth, needed 6 units of blood, was severely anaemic & had post natal depression. I don't want to think that this pregnancy will go the same way. I want to enjoy my pregnancy & would love for my little boy to be excited too! We're not going to tell him until after my first scan & 12 weeks - this makes sure all is well & also stops him from telling everyone at school too.

Sunnyb xxx

 

[mumofmany]

I totally understand your concern with age gap but honestly you will understand more about mine when i tell you the ages
eldest son 13 then middle son 6 they sleep together out of choice sometimes very close
eldest daughter 11 youngest daughter 5 again sleep together sometimes again very close
youngest son is 9 months old and is spoilt rotten by all 4 of them.

ok so the 13 and 11 year old are close too and 6 and 5 year olds, but really i have noticed the closer in age the more they fight lol.

and you cant favour one over the other its just impossible, well you can some days and it changes lol when one being really naughty and the other really well behaved but it swops hehe

 

[mumofmany]

also forgot to add i was borderline pnd after my 4th never had it with any of the others, my mum told me to take vitamin b6 after birth cause apparrently they help she had pnd with her 3rd and took them after her others and swears by them. and as you will have heard every pregnancy and labour is different so you may well be lucky this time and have a more positive experience and you know what to look out for afterwards and doctors know what to look out for at birth too.