Emotional Support

[Doodles]

hey guys, sorry to have worried some (thank you for your message hun x) but been quite awfull the past couple of days.

Basically it's all kicked off between me & my mother after she started screaming at me infront if Connor & I kicked her out & told her she wasn't welcome in my house until she could learn to behave around my son, but she could however see him in town (he adores her & my brothers so had no intention of upsetting him further by banning him from seeing her).
She's since sent me viscious and spitefull messages saying that I'm using him as a weapon & I'm s!r£w%n^ with his head & claiming that it was me shouting and screaming (my husband heared it all, the only time a shouted was when I told her to get out of my house for the third time as she wouldn't leave).

"u really are pshycotic! I thought i was imagining that you had lost the plot & u might actually have a valid reason for being so downright nasty today but obviously U REALLY R THAT INSANE!"

"
Do ur worst with ur pathetic accusations on fb & anywhere else u choose I really dont care anymore, uv used connor as a threat for the last time...if i was such a bad mother why the hell have u asked for so many favours over the years...COS UR FULL OF SHIT thats why! the ONLY 1 shouting & screaming was U so get over urself & have a nice life JUST LEAVE ME OUT OF IT COS I AINT INTERESTED IN WATCHIN U SCREW CONNORS HEAD UP THE SAME AS U DO TO EVERYONE ELSE"

"[04/05/2011 22:22:30] everybodylovesbiscuits:
I am not the 1 who was shouting so dont BOTHER trying to make out it was any1 but U in the wrong!! ALL i did was ask if i could use ur precious computer for a couple of minutes to check that I had enough money in the bank to put petrol in my car as i have already had to put £150 in this past wk due to the house move & i didnt want to risk running out & not being able to get back in time to get connor or the boys from school. FOR YOUR OWN UNKNOWN CHILDISH reason you flipped out which is WHY I SAID I REFUSE TO SUBJECT CONNOR TO SUCH BEHAVIOUR. I WILL NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO TREAT ME SO DISGUSTINGLY just because you are having a 'bad day' is NO EXCUSE to treat someone so badly especially when all I was trying to do is YOU a damned favour!!!! This is the LAST time I will comunicate with you until you can sort yourself out & learn to treat others with respect. FYI there is actually NO MONEY in my account so I WOULD OF RUN OUT IN GORSEINON & BEEN STRANDED UNTIL BAMPA COULD PICK US UP! luckily 1 of us had the forethought to consider that possibility instead of assuming that cars run on fresh air"

"never forget granny loves you very very much connor, even when you cant see me your uncles & I are still thinking of you xx"

"maybe if certain ppl learnt not to overeact SO dramatically @ a simple ? u wouldnt of heard shouting sweetheart. Never forget granny loves u no matter what u are told by others xx"

these are all messages sent by her, the last two were sent to Connor's facebook account (obviously he doesn't use facebook as he's only two, I use it to update family & friends who we don't see very often & he'll play the farm game with me as it teaches him different animals/colours/flowers etc). All the messages have been copied & pasted from her messages, so I'm sorry if any of it offends anyone. I've had to delete my brothers off facebook as she was using their accounts to send abusive messages after I blocked her.

On top of that I'm about to half my weekly wages by switching to a different job & I passed pink tissue yesterday & have been feeling stressed & unwell.

Sorry for the essay x x

oh the start of the argument? because I told he I didn't have money to give her for petrol so would have to cancel what I needed to go.

 

[Cazza]

I realise I don't actually know you or your mother, but I have to say that this is IMHO an appalling way for a parent to behave.

Using text and FB messages to get at you is unacceptable and frankly childish.

Block her mesages/texts if you can for a few days, rise above it and do not retaliate.......you do not need the stress hunny xx

 

[Doodles]

thanks hun, it's not even the first time she's done something like this, it happens regularly, even when I was pregnant. She even disowned me one time because I said her bf wasn't coming to the wedding because he'd been cheating on her. Another time she disowned us because we'd had an argument and she told me she'd taken an overdose while my brothers were upstairs so I phoned the police & told them I was worried about her & asked if they could check on her.

 

[DaisyPurple]

Oh Doodles,
I really feel your pain right now, your mum is supposed to be the person you can rely upon for love, support and be your best friend, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this sh**,
the thing is, we are all different and sometimes we have to deal with other peoples unreasonable behavior, because we feel we can't stand up to them for fear of upsetting them,
Here's the thing in reality, nobody has to put up with being used and put on, you are struggling financially right now, she needs to be aware of this and stop putting extra financial strains on you, you did right to tell her to get out if she was shouting in front of Connor, he may only be little but children understand atmospheres and it would have been very frightening for him to see granny and mummy arguing,

If I were you I would just close down the Facebook account for now, to save yourself any more upset, and ignore your mum until she calms down, at sounds to me like she is embarrassed because you refused her something and she didn't know how to handle it, she does need to realise you are a grown woman making your own way in the world now and not a child that she feels she can control with her temper tantrums,

as for passing pink tissue, have you been to the doctors? you really should go,

Keep strong love, its not easy but you will feel better if you do, I had a similar thing with my mum, who I am glad to say I am quite friendly with now In 42 she turned 60 this January, we have had a bad relationship since I can remember (I'm the eldest of 4), it can and will turn itself around and get better, you just have to be patient, stand your ground and wait for her to realise her mistakes,

 

[Doodles]

thank you hun x x

 

[LouiseB]

I don't know what to say really, i feel a bit like i'm reading a bit too much into someone else's life.

My mum and sister have similar themed arguments all the time and i tell my sister to stop taking *anything* off my mum and i tell my mum to stop assuming to tell my sister how to parent her child just because she gives my sister things.

They never listen to me, but sometimes even loved ones can be too involved in each others lives for their own good.

It's just a vicious circle of dependancy and unshared expectations from both parties - in my sisters situation anyway.

I hope you are coping alright and that the dust will settle in a few days and everything will be back to usual

 

[Doodles]

sorry didnt realise her name was in there will delete that now x