Dont know what do

[Archiesmummy]

Last year my hubby joined the RAF and while he was on training i needed his password etc for his online banking. I got the password wrong and so need his e-mail password. Now i always trusted him but as you do, i had a nosey at his e-mails and found he had signed up to a social networking site that was for flirting. So i went on and found hundreds of e-mails to and from girls. In one of them he was talking about him being in the RAF (before he joined) saying sorry he hadn't been on but he had been training. This girl then said back that it was ok, she still loved him. There were loads about what they wanted to do to him and vise vurser.

Then scanning through his e-mails i found pictures he had sent to a girl of his bits. On one of them there was the laptop with a pic of her naked and his bits infront of it. (sorry tmi).

He was still on training at this point so i txt him and said it was over. Told him that he did not deserve me and that he did not deserve our little boy.

About 2 weeks later, he was medically discharged and came back. We sorted it out and since i have always had his e-mail passwords etc to check.

This morning i was trying to put some pics on photobucket to put on here and as i opened it up to transfer them i saw a folder called 'new folder'. Tried to find it on the computer and unticked hidden folders. I found two folders of girls with there bits out, some with vibrators etc and loads more.

Im angry because 1 he did this after everything he said about beng sorry last time and 2, for hiding them. I know how to work a laptop, im not stupid. Aswell, one folder was created the day after we were at the hospital because we thought something was wrong with baby.

I told him that when he had been pick little un up from playgroup, and when i got back to pack his bags and go.

Now he is still here because he has nowhere to go and i love him so much.

I dont know what do. Im so angry with him but he is the farther of my children and i love him with all my heart. I dont think he has ever cheated, and i am always with him.

Sorry for such a long post guys, i just needed tell someone

 

[cherelle]

awww honey i really feel for you. It must be such a difficult situation. And for him to have done it when youd been in hospital worried about things? To me that would be inexcusable but its your decision if you want to stay with him.

I would worry that it would just keep happening though because for you to catch him out once and instead of not doing it again he gets even more sneaky with it? Thats not right. Whatever you do good luck hun, but try not to let him get away with this x

 

[Archiesmummy]

Well the laptop comes with me at night now and it gets hidden when im not here, harsh i know but its got to be done. He is sleeping on the sofa for a while and he has told me i need be up at 7 tomorrow because something is coming. I just feel i have been played for a fool, but i love him so much and i know i dont give him alot of sex but when you are running round after 2 year old all day that doesn't nap i cant blame me.

I think i will see how it goes and just make sure i take every precaution so he cant do it again. He said he doesn't know why he does it, but i no its got to be something to do with the way he feels about me. Im not skinny like i used to be, but i dont have horses no more and im not the best looking girl, but i look after him so much. If he didnt have me he would be lost and starving. Grrrr i hate men lol xx

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

My honest opinion...hes be out and that would be it!

In my eyes what hes doing is cheating and if hes done it once, then again he will always do it!
Hes almost lost you and his son yet that hasnt stopped him has it?


May sound harsh but I wouldnt and couldnt be with someone who behaved like that when hes supposed to love me!

Nope Id have his stuff packed and hed be out wether he has somewhere to go or not...thats not your problem!

I know its not as easy for everyone to be as clear cut about these things as I am but just dont be taken for a fool!
xxx

 

[pinkymum]

Oh Hun, that's horrible. I think because it's the second time you've caught him that would be it for me. I would try to give someone a second chance but not third! And even though you hide the laptop, if he can't help himself he could go and do something else. Obviously I'm not in your situation and it must be so hard, thinking of you huge hugs!!!!

X x x x

 

[isobel84]

owww hun im so sorry
if it was me he would be out to.. you shouldnt have to restrict his use to the laptop cuz your worried what he does on there?? thats not right bless you! you should be able to trust him 100%

you deserve someone that respect you hun
you gave him 1 more chance, that was big of you, but to give him two that would be foolish cuz you are only telling him he will get away with it even the third time now

 

[flexilexi394]

first of all as that is such a hurtful thing to happen.

but honey, you shouldnt have to hide the laptop. if it was a trusting relationship, it simply wouldnt happen. if it were me i would opt out of the relationship. easier said than done i know. the sad thing is, you must feel like sh*t about yourself if hes feeling the need to look at other women.
It is just worrying as you do have a family with him, youd think he would just love what he has and cherish it! not put it on the line for some dirty pictures every now and then or whatever.
the thing that would get to me is hes done it behind your back and even taken time to take pics of his bits and send them! what a strange thing to do when your in a relationship with a son!
If youre going to stay with him, make sure you have a really good chat about things and make it clear that its a very hurtful thing to do to you, and you TOTALLY deserve better for yourself and child.

Im so sorry to hear that hes done this, just be strong in whatever decision you make sweety. no woman deserves to be treated like that, and he should really crawl and lick your feet for a long time before he is forgiven!

xx

 

[Archiesmummy]

Thanks everyone. I had flowers delivered this morning. I have given him a second, well third chance but he is not allowed to kiss me, touch me and he is doing his own cooking, cleaning Etc.
I know you will all think I'm a silly but I love him and I know that if anything ever happened again he will be out. I don't know if I'm scared of being on my own, or if I'm worried I will never find anyone else. I do know I love him but I'm not in love with him in a way. Sorry to confuse anyone. And sorry if I'm being stupid. Xx

 

[Archiesmummy]

Thanks everyone. I had flowers delivered this morning. I have given him a second, well third chance but he is not allowed to kiss me, touch me and he is doing his own cooking, cleaning Etc.
I know you will all think I'm a silly but I love him and I know that if anything ever happened again he will be out. I don't know if I'm scared of being on my own, or if I'm worried I will never find anyone else. I do know I love him but I'm not in love with him in a way. Sorry to confuse anyone. And sorry if I'm being stupid. Xx

 

[positivity :)]

hi archiesmummy

really sorry to hear what you have gone through. i understand everyones reactions to your thread but i have to say, whenever i hear of this sort of thing (friends etc) i always take a step back and say..until you are in the situation you never know what you are going to do, its very easy to say you would throw them out but this is not a boyfriend, this is your family. Of course you forgave him! so many women with a home and small children would do the same thing. he is terrible and i agree with what everyone else said but at the same time i dont think you should apologise or punish yourself, to be the person who makes the decision to split your family (although its totally his fault) is a HUGE decision to take and i believe that thousands of women would have done the same as you. i really hope he changes (i dont believe these men do ever change) and i hope that you and your little ones are ok xxx

 

[LouiseB]

I agree with Positivity.

I just think that he is away from his family a lot and that maybe it makes it a little bit more understandable?

I'm not saying that i wouldn't be hurt if it happened to me, but i don't think it automatically makes him a scumbag who isn't worthy of trust.

The thrill he gets from these communications is as close as he's going to get to sex.

Have you ever tried pampering to his sexual needs while he is away? Dirty messages and maybe photos (that can't be identified as you)?

I think that if you did and he was still going to other women that i'd take the situation much more seriously.

 

[Archiesmummy]

Louise he is no longer in the RAF hun .

I sat and had a long chat with him last night and a few tears later and me punching him (he didn't mind) we have decided that he has to make it up to me. Little things like cooking me a meal etc will help. I said he doesn't love me but he says he does and that if he didn't why would he still be here when i told him go. I do believe he does love me and i have warned him that if he ever does it again i wont just take myself away from him it will be the kids to. I said that if it kept happening what sort of message will that give our boy Archie, that its ok to treat woman like shit?

I love him and i want him here so i will just have to make sure he never goes elsewhere again, if you get me lol xx