Dont know how to feel.

[x_PlaceboDanii]

Ive had a complex 9 months, and its about to get even complexer (if theres such a word).

For those of you who didn't already know, my fiance was a sperm donor to his lesbian friends that wanted a baby. They did talk the issue over with me to be fair but it wasn't the best time as id had a few drinks and i get very lenient when i have a few, so me being a daft twat gave it my thumbs up and go ahead, i was still on birth control at the time so i guessed i would put his babies to better use since we weren't trying at the time.

I suppose its my own fault really i suppose, i wasn't really expecting it to happen for them straight away as nasty as that sounds!, but the next morning after the drinks we found out that the lesbian we gave the sperm to was pregnant, my hangover got worse.

She had the baby this morning at 1.26, i just cant help but feel so disappointed in myself, i know whats done cant be undone now, but i just get this horrible sinking feeling when i look at the baby, i guess i am thankful it doesn't look anything like fiance, apart from its hair colour and thats about it. I just cant pretend im happy when im not that bothered, I cant get my feelings out without sounding like a bitch in anyway, ive bottled them up for the last 9 months, i haven't told anyone how im feeling!.

No one has to comment on this if they dont want to, i just feel that little bit better for getting it out

 

[pinkyprincess]

What a hard thing to do! Well done for accepting your choice ( not that I think it was fair of them to ask you when you were tipsy!) hope your ok!

 

[dyscochick]

THat was an amazing thing to do but I can see how tough it would be for you now. If you feel better getting it out on here I have t wonder if you'd feel better talking it through with OH. maybe don't tell him it all but just that its been harder than you expected?