x_PlaceboDanii
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- Jun 23, 2011
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This is probably in the wrong section, if it is then i do apologise!.
I just wanted to write here as my mood over the past few days has just evaporated!. I started the week last week really well, was very happy to go out with my friends and get some me time away from my fiance (as nasty as that sounds lol), college didn't seem so bad as i had my friends around me still.
But Friday is when my good mood died!, i went to see my fiance's friends after college. For those of you who dont know my fiance helped them have a baby (Their lesbians), im not going to go through the whole story of how it happened and how much it messed me up, as im slowly just starting to get over it. Anyway, I had a really good time with them, held their son and played with him..He is adorable!..
So back to the story, me and fiance we're waiting at the bus stop and he had a few beers, when he turned and said to me that by the time their son is 16 he'll probably want to know who his dad is, and that our son will be their son's half brother. Everytime he mentions that a part of me dies inside, he's totally different from when their son was born!!. He seems a lot more involved and he assured me when they got pregnant that he wouldn't be that involved, he even signed the rights over to his friends girlfriend so she can adopt him fully. I just cant understand it!, he sits there looking at the pictures on facebook of him and it just makes me feel so angry!. I feel he gives their son more attention than he gives our son!..It makes me boil up inside!!
I just feel like all the magic has gone out of my pregnancy, I have no idea if its just my hormones! or what!, but when he used to touch my bump and lay on it i used to feel a lot of love, but now i just feel nothing and want to be left alone half the time!. I just feel like my pregnancy has been a massive waste of time and energy and i hate feeling like that!, Im just sat here with tears in my eyes feeling like ill be a bad mum as i feel nothing for the life inside me!.
Please tell me it gets better!
I just wanted to write here as my mood over the past few days has just evaporated!. I started the week last week really well, was very happy to go out with my friends and get some me time away from my fiance (as nasty as that sounds lol), college didn't seem so bad as i had my friends around me still.
But Friday is when my good mood died!, i went to see my fiance's friends after college. For those of you who dont know my fiance helped them have a baby (Their lesbians), im not going to go through the whole story of how it happened and how much it messed me up, as im slowly just starting to get over it. Anyway, I had a really good time with them, held their son and played with him..He is adorable!..
So back to the story, me and fiance we're waiting at the bus stop and he had a few beers, when he turned and said to me that by the time their son is 16 he'll probably want to know who his dad is, and that our son will be their son's half brother. Everytime he mentions that a part of me dies inside, he's totally different from when their son was born!!. He seems a lot more involved and he assured me when they got pregnant that he wouldn't be that involved, he even signed the rights over to his friends girlfriend so she can adopt him fully. I just cant understand it!, he sits there looking at the pictures on facebook of him and it just makes me feel so angry!. I feel he gives their son more attention than he gives our son!..It makes me boil up inside!!
I just feel like all the magic has gone out of my pregnancy, I have no idea if its just my hormones! or what!, but when he used to touch my bump and lay on it i used to feel a lot of love, but now i just feel nothing and want to be left alone half the time!. I just feel like my pregnancy has been a massive waste of time and energy and i hate feeling like that!, Im just sat here with tears in my eyes feeling like ill be a bad mum as i feel nothing for the life inside me!.
Please tell me it gets better!