Feel as if my pregnancy has been for nothing.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by x_PlaceboDanii, Jan 29, 2012.

  1. x_PlaceboDanii

    x_PlaceboDanii Well-Known Member

    Jun 23, 2011
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    This is probably in the wrong section, if it is then i do apologise!. :)

    I just wanted to write here as my mood over the past few days has just evaporated!. I started the week last week really well, was very happy to go out with my friends and get some me time away from my fiance (as nasty as that sounds lol), college didn't seem so bad as i had my friends around me still.

    But Friday is when my good mood died!, i went to see my fiance's friends after college. For those of you who dont know my fiance helped them have a baby (Their lesbians), im not going to go through the whole story of how it happened and how much it messed me up, as im slowly just starting to get over it. Anyway, I had a really good time with them, held their son and played with him..He is adorable!..

    So back to the story, me and fiance we're waiting at the bus stop and he had a few beers, when he turned and said to me that by the time their son is 16 he'll probably want to know who his dad is, and that our son will be their son's half brother. Everytime he mentions that a part of me dies inside, he's totally different from when their son was born!!. He seems a lot more involved and he assured me when they got pregnant that he wouldn't be that involved, he even signed the rights over to his friends girlfriend so she can adopt him fully. I just cant understand it!, he sits there looking at the pictures on facebook of him and it just makes me feel so angry!. I feel he gives their son more attention than he gives our son!..It makes me boil up inside!!

    I just feel like all the magic has gone out of my pregnancy, I have no idea if its just my hormones! or what!, but when he used to touch my bump and lay on it i used to feel a lot of love, but now i just feel nothing and want to be left alone half the time!. I just feel like my pregnancy has been a massive waste of time and energy and i hate feeling like that!, Im just sat here with tears in my eyes feeling like ill be a bad mum as i feel nothing for the life inside me!.

    Please tell me it gets better!
  2. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

    Aug 18, 2011
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    That must be difficult for u, I wouldn't be happy if my DH did that.
    But your fiance will be 100% involved with ur baby's life, he will absolutely adore ur baby and the 3 of u will be a happy family!
    He signed away any rights to that other child, so no matter how much he wants to be involved, he will never be his 'father' so to speak - whereas ur child will grow up calling him 'daddy'

    As soon as ur baby comes, ull realize that all the worrying has been for nothing and ur baby will be his priority xx

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk
  3. BabysMomma

    BabysMomma Well-Known Member

    Jan 31, 2011
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    I think Jayjay is spot on with what she's said Hun.

    I remember you're initial story. I do agree that your son will be priority number 1 for your fiancé when he arrives cos he'll be 100% involved.

    :hug: It must be such a hard situation for you hun...I hope it gets easier and better soon and when your LO arrives. x
  4. kanga86

    kanga86 Well-Known Member

    May 9, 2011
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    I am right in thinking that ur oh has got a lot more involved in his 'sons' life since u've been pregnant? Maybe it's just his way of getting used to the idea of looking after a baby and showing u he can do it?

    I agree with jayjay once ur baby comes along he will dote on him and u and u will be a prefect lil family. Xx
  5. weefoggy

    weefoggy Well-Known Member

    Oct 4, 2011
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    Aw, poor you what a difficult situation which you've clearly dealt with well.

    I'm sure all will change once your LO is born. I think 9 months is a long time particularly for the men as they don't feel everything like we do. My OH couldn't be more excited about our baby and is very loving and attentive however in the last week or so he has been very busy with work and we've been moving house he hasn't seemed as 'bothered' but I know that's not the case he just has a lot going on, maybe the same for your OH?

    Once LO is born and everything is 'real' I'm sure he'll be a great attentive dad to your little boy. He clearly has that paternal instinct.

  6. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

    Jul 10, 2011
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    dont forget that tho he loves your son he is a man and a lot of them cant really show the affection and love they feel to bump. once baby is in his arms it will be totally different.
    about half way thru i found being preg started to drag and tho i can feel baby move and i can feel really close to our LO my guy cant feel the same way as baby is in me. he loves feeling her kick but he cant tell if its cos she likes his hand being there or if she wants him to go away. men find it hard to act like bump is an actualy baby iykwim? he probably feels like hes excited and cant wait for his son to be in his arms so his friends baby is kind of a substitute because it has a link to him and he can hold and see him and play with him. just wait hun i know it may be hard but i bet once your babs is born then your OH will be obsessed with him lol
  7. jld123

    jld123 Well-Known Member

    Dec 17, 2010
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    Thats unfortunate for you., but you shouldnt feel like your pregnancy is a waste of time because of the way your fiance is acting. its still your son in your tummy, dont mean to be rude but i think that sounds a bit selfish of you to say its a waste of time. poor baby!

    Im sure once the baby has arrived he will be just as loving if not more than with his other son. i hope you feel better soon x

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