Discussing periods and sex???????????????????????????

[claireabell]

Hey ladies,

Well my daughter is 9 years old and she has recently been asking me about periods and little questions about sex... just wondering if anyone has any suggestions about discussing this with her. I do try and be as honest as I can be with her so she will feel able to come and ask me anything....er which she has been doing.....the other day she asked me what a virgin was, I explained and said that its someone that hasn't tried something before....including sex...somehow she ended up comparing it to being a wax virgin But think she got the jist of it and was quite happy with my explanation....bless my little baby growing up ....scary.....Just don't want to go into too much detail with her only being 9....all suggestions would be really helpful and very grateful. She does come home and tell me what she discusses with people at school....I'm mortified.....we're we all this sexually aware at that age????
Thanks Ladies.....

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I would try and be as honest as possible with her as if you dont she may go to school telling her friends the wrong thing just for someone to tell her what it actually is and findout you didnt tell her the truth,
Kids are smarter and more aware of things nowadays they grow up way to fast
Good luck i know it must be difficult
Katrina

 

[budge]

Hey ladies,

Well my daughter is 9 years old and she has recently been asking me about periods and little questions about sex... just wondering if anyone has any suggestions about discussing this with her. I do try and be as honest as I can be with her so she will feel able to come and ask me anything....er which she has been doing.....the other day she asked me what a virgin was, I explained and said that its someone that hasn't tried something before....including sex...somehow she ended up comparing it to being a wax virgin But think she got the jist of it and was quite happy with my explanation....bless my little baby growing up ....scary.....Just don't want to go into too much detail with her only being 9....all suggestions would be really helpful and very grateful. She does come home and tell me what she discusses with people at school....I'm mortified.....we're we all this sexually aware at that age????
Thanks Ladies.....

my daughters 9 this year and im dreading all that . However i think shes a very 'young' 9 as this is what she asked me the other week.
''mummy if we have a girl baby will it have a tuppence like mine?'' yes i repllied/ ''What will it have if its a boy then''

she has a lot to learn.
I am thinking of getting her a bokk from the earlt learning centre - its sort of a 'how to make babies book'' and ocvers everything. I think ill get it soon and leave it ''hanging'' around the house. She'll ask questions if she wants to and i shall answer as i always answer everyone, with honesty and openess.

I shall be following this thread with interest.

 

[Amanda]

Hiya Claire

I have always tried to be as open and honest with Kayleigh as is possible, but putting things in terms she will understand. She therefore understood completely the biological reasons behind a period, and wasn't at all shocked when she had her first one. I got some pictures of ovaries, etc from the internet and sat and went through the whole thing with her. I really don't agree with the 'I'll tell you when you're older' people. There is always something you can tell a child that will satisfy them, and also help them learn the correct way, instead of playground chat.

As for sex, I have also tried the same approach. It's different now as she's 13, and has learnt stuff in lessons at school as well, but when she was younger, it was difficult. It's really hard to know how much to tell them. What do you do when your 10 year old approaches you in the local pub on a Sunday afternoon and calmly asks "Mum, what's a blow job?" I swear to you that really happened to me! She was only 10, but I didn't want to lie to her, so I just told her it was when a lady put a mans willy in her mouth. Her reaction was to say 'EEww!' and comment that she would never do that ever, and walk off! She's never mentioned that since. So that answer satisfied her, but I hadn't gone into real detail. Does that make sense?

I would encourage your daughter to keep asking you questions by answering her as honestly as you can. That way you can be sure she is learning correctly, and also will continue to come to you. My greatest fear is for Kayleigh to come home pregnant and say that she didn't feel she could talk to me about contraception. I would much rather she speak to me first.

 

[bexxie]

Hi I started my periods at 9 years old so I have told my daugheter everything already as she kept asking me loads of Q's. I only told her because she is highly inteligent and I knew she could understand and cope with it.

She never mentions it now and knows how my baby got into my tummy and loves it,she wants to watch the birth but i draw the line at that.

My mum told me at a young age and I didnt lose my virginity until I was 18 so not all of them will want sex because they know all about it early.

Good luck with your daughter,it is a tricky sunject,would dread talking to a boy about it

 

[claireabell]

Thanks for the advice ladies, Budge that is a good idea about the book, think I'll invest in one of those for Haylea...plus she's really into reading so that might be better for her. I do try and be as honest as I can with her and she never feels uncomfortable asking me things...I'm with you on the "I'll tell you when you're older" Tankett...they just learn so much in the playground and then feel like they know it all so don't need to ask. I know as she goes into year 5 at school in Sept they have sex education lessons and this year its all abouts periods so maybe if I get her the book over the hols she will be a bit more clued up before the sex ed lessons start....I love some of the questions they ask though...and they do it so matter of factly....its hilarious...
Thanks again ladies....will keep you posted on this one....

 

[Minime]

She does come home and tell me what she discusses with people at school....I'm mortified.....we're we all this sexually aware at that age????

Errr no! I think we got a bit about reproduction and sex when were about 13 in biology. DD had lessons from about 6 or 7 and remember her coming home and telling me all about masturbation
We certainly did not have anything like that when I was in school!

 

[foxymum]

hiya,
my daughter has just turned 10 in july & has just finished sex education at school (year 5) what a time for her to do all that learning about the birds & the bees while i am up the duff

anyway she hasn't said anything about 'i know how that baby got in there!!' but we have talked about periods & stuff, but i only ever tell her the minimum that she needs to know, obviously if she asked more i would always answer honestly.

the thing is if you don't tell them their friends will, & a lot of it will be exagarated & made up!!

i had a bit of sex education at primary school, but yes they are learning things so much younger now, its such a shame.
i want to keep georgia innocent for as long as poss.

i dread anyone at school showing her one of those disgusting videos you can download on mobiles it makes me feel sick.
we can shelter our kids, but all it takes is 1 kid who knows it all & bang goes all our hard work

 

[kirlykird]

My twins have had so many questions about me being pregnant and where babies come from.

I also have previously had many questions about periods etc.

I decided that as I wanted to get them as involved with this pregnancy as possible that I needed to educate them. My OH who is Swedish couldn't believe that we don't learn all of this in school like they do so we decided to do it as a joint effort.

We invested in a fantastic book that I would recommend to anyone!

It tells all about female and male gender parts, explains about periods, why they happen , what happens when they don't, sex, fertilisation, pregnancy,birth,looking after babies...

It is aimed at both boys and girls and has many cartons running through it to keep childrens attention.

The book is calle Let's talk about where babies come from' by Robie H Harris and is by Walker books.

 

[Yvanne]

hiya, i started my periods at 9 and dint have a clue what they were, i was ent home cryin from school and took me hours to understand wot was haooenin and that i wasnt actually dying which i thot i was

my little sister has recently been asking(shes 11) diifferent questions and the best thong to do is be honest, dont make it all oh cabbage patches(obv ok 4 young kids) n storks etc, i think if upfront n honest(without too much detail shell be fine, if shes old enough to realise 2 ask u, shes old enough to know good luck hun

 

[pammie]

My little boy is 8 and i got 101 questions about why i couldnt go swimming (painful period) I felt i had to exlain it to him coz its only fair boys understand so i explaind what i could as simple as i could trying not to make a hugh deal out of it. the questions didnt stop and then he remembered how my friend had explained to him about how the baby got into her belly her words were daddy waves a magic wand over mummys tummy and the baby gets there. Now hes a bit older and he said hes not sure he believes my friend as there are no real magic wands in the world and mabe his "aunty" joey needs to see a doctor i nearly wet myself laughing. I took him to the library and got a book out called "what mummy never told me" i would advise parents to read it first incase they think its a bit much for children it just explains a few things about men and women and famailies and i felt it was ok for an 8 year old as long as i explained things as we went along
I think there are some great books out there that explain awkward situations simply for children.
pam