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- Aug 2, 2020
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Hi, so i am going to start with a little background... i was sterilised 2 years ago after 3 really bad pregnancies and a DA relationship with my sons dad and had an abortion to prevent anymore kids being brought into an unstable home.
Fast forward to current day! Lockdown got pretty crazy, i became friends with a nice person, we spent alot of time together after lockdown was eased slightly. Mainly talking because i was having a difficult time with my current situation which im not going to go into, he was having a hard time with his ex who he still loves.
One night we slept together, and this led to a few more nights, No strings, no feelings, just two consenting adults.
On Friday he messaged to say he wanted to give it another go with his ex, i supported that and i am genuinely happy for him because i knew all along he loved her and he never denied that to me!
Saturday i realised my period is late, only by a few days but thats not like me, but im not paranoid because i thought well ive been sterilised its fine! today still no period so i bought a test just to prove to myself im being stupid, but its flashed up positive.
i have since ordered a further two tests off ebay and i am doing nothing until I know for sure, but nobody knows we slept together. In our heads it didn’t even happen. I lied to my best friend and told her i hadnt because i knew she liked him a few years back but he didn’t feel the same way and its been raw since.
My gut instinct is saying once i know for sure i need to get rid of it and not tell him! But i know myself that is a dangerous path.
i dont want to be in a relationship with him or anyone and i dont want anymore kids which is why i was sterilised at 27! Im now 29 so by no means am i young and naive. I genuinely do not know what to do though. I am badly hoping its a false positive, i found two lumps in my breast and i am awaiting the breast clinic appointment which is what he was supporting me through. Now im wondering if maybe i do have cancer as it can flash a false positive too! But i dont want that either with 3 young kids who need me but either scenario is not good for me right now.
feel free to judge me because i am judging myself so bad right now. Im not a bad person really i have just made a mistake and slept with someone without protection but we were both single, knew we had no stds and thought i was unable to get pregnant.
Fast forward to current day! Lockdown got pretty crazy, i became friends with a nice person, we spent alot of time together after lockdown was eased slightly. Mainly talking because i was having a difficult time with my current situation which im not going to go into, he was having a hard time with his ex who he still loves.
One night we slept together, and this led to a few more nights, No strings, no feelings, just two consenting adults.
On Friday he messaged to say he wanted to give it another go with his ex, i supported that and i am genuinely happy for him because i knew all along he loved her and he never denied that to me!
Saturday i realised my period is late, only by a few days but thats not like me, but im not paranoid because i thought well ive been sterilised its fine! today still no period so i bought a test just to prove to myself im being stupid, but its flashed up positive.
i have since ordered a further two tests off ebay and i am doing nothing until I know for sure, but nobody knows we slept together. In our heads it didn’t even happen. I lied to my best friend and told her i hadnt because i knew she liked him a few years back but he didn’t feel the same way and its been raw since.
My gut instinct is saying once i know for sure i need to get rid of it and not tell him! But i know myself that is a dangerous path.
i dont want to be in a relationship with him or anyone and i dont want anymore kids which is why i was sterilised at 27! Im now 29 so by no means am i young and naive. I genuinely do not know what to do though. I am badly hoping its a false positive, i found two lumps in my breast and i am awaiting the breast clinic appointment which is what he was supporting me through. Now im wondering if maybe i do have cancer as it can flash a false positive too! But i dont want that either with 3 young kids who need me but either scenario is not good for me right now.
feel free to judge me because i am judging myself so bad right now. Im not a bad person really i have just made a mistake and slept with someone without protection but we were both single, knew we had no stds and thought i was unable to get pregnant.
